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GIN and Ironic

South Africa - World Cup Day 2 The Soccer Mom laid down her pen, and tried to sleep, but she could not. Then, a steadily rising drumbeat began: Bebop, bebop, bebop bibbity biggity bop Bebop, bop bop Bop bop bop bop.......... Tino leapt into the air, and fell of the bed. He scrambled from the floor, exclaiming "It's the Nigerians!" Tino ran to his backpack and extracted two tear gas containers that would put tears into the eyes of the most ardent soccer fans. He ran out to the balcony and leaned over it, looking both ways. One the one side came the Nigerian side. On the other, no Argentine hincha in sight. The kids had awaken with a start, and Amy, Kenworth and Stephanie Clifton ran out to the balcony. Their first impression was a mob of Nigerians stomping, cussing and making a fuss over what they planned to do- beat Argentina. "Tino! Who are they?" asked Kenworth. "Nigerians, boy. We play them this morning in our group." Kenworth and Amy laughed. "How did they find you?" asked the Soccer Mom. Tino shook his head and said "It's someone in Buenos Aires, having a laugh." "What are you going to do?" asked Amy. "Pepper spray tear gas containers, one in front, one right in the middle. Watch." said Tino. He threw two tear gas containers, one right in front and the next down right smack dab in the middle of the crowd/mob. The mob grew vexatious upon being showered with such affection. Tino screamed down at them "Una palisa como nunca has visto te espera, Una palisa como nunca te imaginaste llega, en pocas horas, Algo que vale mirar por todo el universo, No solo en el mundial, viene A tu propio continente. Argentina te va liberar de tus ambiciones grotesquas, Que son - Ganar a Argentina Vas a llorar antes de que este Mundial da otra vuelta!!!! Juanes - FIFA World Cup Concert: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHqLXfvGeZY
— June 12, 2010 1:37 a.m.

GIN and Ironic

South Africa - World Cup Day 1 The Soccer Mom's Journal We almost died. Weswam for our lives. After Tino signalled Kenworth to move the Argo, he tied a teher around my waist and said "We must outswim this debris field, or it will kill us. This is a sprint- I WANT YOUR BEST! Twenty minutes, sprint. Vamonos.' We swam our hardest and fastest. When the tether pulled at my waist I turned it up. Amazingly, we fed off of each other, and slowly rose, swimming for our lives, rising slowly enough to defeat the bends, with the monstrous debris field, insensate and unslaked, right behind us. When we surfaced, Tino shot off a flare, and called Kenworth "Kenwort, can you see my flare?" "No...wait, yes! Oh, Jesus, how far away are you? I'm turning back!" In the background I could hear the Argo's engines rev. "Stop engines! Full stop, Kenwort! Your mother is right here, we passed the debris field. Coast Guard is coming." "How deep are you?!" demanded Kenworth. "Honey, we've surfaced. The flare, honey. Do you see the flare?" I said, almost completely out of breath. I don't want to think about it, but when the Coast Guard divers appeared, well, needless to say it was lkie a new lease on life. Tino claims we would have made it anyway, that he cannot be drowned, but I wonder. Now, in the middle of the night, the drums beat in Africa, and it soothes me, makes me forget the past, and all that is wrong in the world. Tonight, the South Africans celebrate, non-stop with out ceasing. They sing "Bawana Bawana, Bawana Bawana, The Zulu shaft, the African Goal Sing Africa, Sing Africa! Bawana Bawana, Sing Africa! Shakira Live In South Africa June 10, 2010, FIFAhttp://redescolombia.com/2010/06/10/shakira-w… World Cup Concert:
— June 11, 2010 9:44 p.m.

GIN and Ironic

Aboard the S.S. Argo, off the coast of Louisiana - Two days til World Cup The Soccer Mom's Journal "The oil spill smells like hot glue, and you can smell it throughout New Orleans. For the last two days we have been at sea. Tino and I dive into the ocean, to particular depths that Kenworth and Amy deduce, to take water samples. He is a magnificent diver, propelled by enormous swim fins, and he swims through the depths like a fish. Kenworth, as he does when upset, has been quiet. Before boarding the Argo, Tino said to Kenworth "When a ship departs to conduct exercises, it is saied to have ´left port.´When a ship departs on a voyage to a pre-determined destination, it is said to have 'set sail.' When a shipleaves port for a destination unknown, as when on an exploratory voyage, a scientific voyage, or to go to battle it is said to have 'gone to sea.' Today, we go to sea. Where this voyage will take us we do not know, but as Intrepid himself has explained 'It was not the great engines of destruction that won World War II, but rather the spirit of human resistance.'" I was so proud of Kenworth when he walked on board, and he's not going to break. Amy and he go about their taskings with purpose and alacrity. She's as proud of him as I am, and shows me her better side. Our experiments and taskings, under the glaring hot sun, as the ship tosses in the water, the water lapping against the hull, and the gargantuan oily sea monster spreading all around us, are bound to set the USA and whole world itself, on a new course. Walto has gone ahead of us to South Africa, with current plans calling for us to join him there shortly. For now, we participate in the protype development of Argo- to find the filters of the ocean waters, not to exploit them for short term gain, but to understand where we stand in time and space, and we do stand." To learn more about Argo: http://www.argo.net
— June 9, 2010 1:32 p.m.

GIN and Ironic

See an image of the Argentine Buzo Tactico: http://www.taringa.net/posts/info/2053599/Agrupac… Tino's Precepts of Soccer 1) Get the ball and possess the ball 2) Be creative 3) Recognize the infinite possibilities of technique 4) Shoot the ball with your full authority 5) If you fall from the horse, get back on the horse immediately 6) Its not 11 vs. 1 nor are you God 7) Face your fear squarely on the field 8) Be serene at the moment of opportunity 9) The dignity with which you approach the match and present yourself constitutes much more than winning or losing 10)You can be the best if you split your soul open and show the world who you really are.
— June 7, 2010 8:18 p.m.

GIN and Ironic

Mobile, Alabama - 5 Days til World Cup The Dodge Caravan pulled up to a CIA safehouse in a wee hour of the morning. Amy and Kenworth were zonked out in the backseat. Stephanie Clifton and Tino Escudero got out, Tino with his back pack, Stephanie Clifton with her thoughts. She showed ID to the man at the door of the storefront operation. Inside, in spite of the late hour, the space was abustle with activity. Computers, people, flat screens on walls and hushed conversations. A large black man strode up to them. "Walton!" said Stephanie with enough delight in her voice to trigger Tino's spider sense. "Stephanie. how you doin?" "Terrible." said the Soccer Mom emphatically. "You want to introduce me?" said Walton. "Walton this is Tino. Tino, Walton." Walton extended his hand. Tino shook it, released it, bowed very formally, and said "Very pleased, to be sure." "You know, the boss been talking about you. He said you one of them macho Argen´tine niggas." Tino thought about that for a moment, then just nodded. He wasn't sure what Walton was getting at. Now, Tino was a ´'little black hair' in Buenos Aires- an indian, a primitive, an undesirable. But Tino never looked at it that way. He figured, if you´re going to judge me by the color of my hair, that's your problem. We all bleed red. "Come on back." said Walton, escorting them back to a separate office, and sitting behind a desk, while Amy and Tino took seats in front of it. Walton pulled out a folder, and opened it. He said "Alright, the basic plan is for you all to go get some water samples, and then, assuming we all on board for the ´VIAJE swe off to South Africa, catch some World Cup action, and take it from there. I´ll provide some back up for you all. Think I´ll blend in, Steph?" "Just stay close." said the Soccer Mom. "Straight. Now then, you- Tino. The boss says you were involved in a shooting incident, and you may be on some sort of suicide mission. Care to elaborate?" "I´m a commando. Dying for your country is the best way to go." said Tino. "Awright, back up a sec. So you are, what- Argentine CIA?" Tino looked at Stephanie. Her look said 'Answer him.' Tino raised an eyebrow- are you sure?' Yup. Tino said "I am Tactico Buzo." "And what's that?" asked Walton. "Think of a Buenos Aires SWAT team." said Tino. Thrash Unreal - 'Against Me' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzJ21OpFnZ0
— June 6, 2010 8:04 p.m.

GIN and Ironic

Alabama Highway - 5 Days til World Cup "Keep it up, boy. I going to throw you on the ground and spit in your mouth." said Tino. "That's enough. Kenworth, apologize." said Stephanie Clifton, at the wheel of her southbound Dodge mini-van. "I'm sorry." said Kenworth. "Apology accepted." said Tino. The arguments served to establish rapport, which would be needed when the group appeared in public. There's no sense sticking out like a sore thumb. Tino sighed, and reached down into his back pack, which was on the passenger side floor, between his legs. He extracted all the ingredients necessary to make a yerba mate- an Argentine tea. He had a hardened gourd, a silver metal straw, a bag of sugar, a bag of yerba mate, and a thermos of steaming, hot water. The kids were watching him from the backseat. Tino poured yerba mate into the bottom of the gourd, dumped an absolute sh&tload of sugar on top of it, then poured steaming hot water into the gourd. The metal straw, called a 'bombillo' was already in the gourd. Tino sighed contentedly, and took a sip from the straw. Amy thought to herself 'What an animal.' She indicated to Kenny,took the Ipad from and went to 'history.' What had Tino been doing on his Ipad? iwantohavesexwithyoudotcom was all it said. Kenny and Amy looked at each other with wide eyes. Porno! Actually, that too was a bit of cover. Tino had been reading up on social anthropology and, upon learning from the Soccer Mom that BP had successfully placed a funnel on the spill point, bought several thousand dollars worth of BP stock. But he didn't want Joe Shmo reading up on what he had read up on, so his Ipad was configured to show a porn site on it's history. Plus, if the Soccer Mom found out about Tino's inside trade, there would be hell to pay. Tino did not need a doctorate to know that once the spill point was covered, the monumental task of remediating perhaps the greatest environmental disaster in US history would begin. BP's stock would bounce back. Tino took another sip and thought to himself 'We are going to fix this thing...I'm a man who puts my money where my mouth is....I'm going to make it back home.... I don't to come back from USA with just a story to tell...Being poor sucks....I hope we get to go to World Cup....' Amy and Kenworth looked at Tino's strange concoction, and gave each other a 'what the hell is that?' look. The Dodge Caravan zoomed through the night, Tino dozed, and the kids watched World Cup videos on the Ipad: K`naan y David Bisbal - 'Wave your Flag' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7k2wPGUvS6A
— June 6, 2010 11:03 a.m.

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