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GIN and Ironic
San Diego - Yesterday Evan off ramped the northbound freeway, going to downtown and Comic-Con. The obvious thing thing to do here would be to dump the ride and scoot. Evan kept driving, even though downtown was trafficky (kudos, Aaryn Belfer;) and that is not good traffic to escape in a chase. Evan sniffed, downshifted, looked in his rear view at the motorcyclists, who had pulled up behind him, but with space. They knew Evan could stomp on his brakes, weave hard, etc. Evan thought back to when he was a young kid, trying to party in Clairemont: Evan was in a car with some older stoners, that had expired tags. They were on their way to Tierrasanta, to score bud. He had called shotgun, and the older stoners indulged him. The only reason they had let him cruise with was because they had heard - 'This little dude from the east side shows up every weekend. Can I party with you type s***! Every weekend he does this.' 'Cool. We'll check him out.' In the car, an older stoner said "Dude." Young Evan turned around and said "Yeah?" "Why do you come to Clairemont?" "To party with white people." young Evan replied. Everyone laughed. "Really." said young Evan. A big dude in the backseat said solemnly "Youngster, you can party with us any time you want." Everyone in the car said "Yeah." A little later- BOO WOO WOO A cop stop. The driver went into a panic "Oh s*** man, I'm screwed. F&*^ it!" He slammed on the gas. "Pull over you f%^&#&ng freak!" "You're going to get us all killed!" The big dude in the backseat reached over the front seat and yanked the driver into a headlock. Young Evan saw that, reached his left leg over the transmission bump, stomped on the brake pedal, and then slammed the gear lever up toward 'park.' The car skidded, spun, and finally came to rest. Young Evan leapt from the vehicle and hauled ass. He lost the police officers' line of sight in less than several seconds. Later, he hid in scrub brush in the steep westward approaches to Tierrasanta, as a police helicopter whirled overhead, shining a spotlight down. At one point, the spotlight shined right on him but Evan kept still, saying to himself 'They can't see me. They can't see me.' It was gnarly. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tugqHunwDA— July 26, 2010 3:53 p.m.
GIN and Ironic
Here's a couple nice twists of the pubes, brought to you special, by Buzo Radio: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IktJW3a9HUI&featur… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgrHklOo13Y&featur…— July 25, 2010 10:33 p.m.
GIN and Ironic
"We grow not older with age, But younger each day." -Emily Dickinson Evan took a look in his rear view mirror and saw the motorcyclists, tailing him. He was unable to outrun them early in the chase, but they could only follow so close. Police bikes aren't even allowed to participate in hot pursuit, normally. The motorcyclists knew Evan was headed for Comic-Con. Losing pursuit in a big crowd was standard operating procedure. The Comic-Conistas of the world united annually in San Diego, and were way over 100,000 strong. Evan engaged his right turn signal, and his mind flashed back to last year's Comic-Con, and the argument it had occasioned with Joy Mercy: Joy was crying. "Evan, I just want you to grow up!" "I grew up young, bitch! You don't even know!" "Stop it! You attract too much attention to yourself! It's dangerous!" "If I weren't this man, would you still love me? Would you?" Joy began crying harder. "Woman, just because I'm a little famous, doesn't mean I'm not going to enjoy life less. I love Comic-Con. Some of the best times I ever had as a kid was reading comic books. I loved tv and the movies. I still do. Why should I change that?" "But Evan, dressed as Aqua Man? What do you think people will say?!" " Aqua Man was my favorite character growing up! And I don't care what they say! You care what they say! And you know why, Joy? Because your daddy has kept you sheltered your whole life! Sometimes I think you don't even love me as a man, so much as the fact that you never had such a good time or felt so free as you have since we've been together!" "Don't criticize my family." hissed Joy Mercy. "This is just like you trying to get me to trade in my ride, for some mid-size square mobile, and you'll buy!" "Evan! You spent your entire life savings on that car! You're obssessed with it, Evan!" "What good is my money going to do me in a bank when it can keep me safe on the road?! Huh?" Joy Mercy threw up her hands and ran from the room. But they were still together. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nb9jJg_wIU— July 25, 2010 5:01 p.m.
GIN and Ironic
Evan Will was hauling ass northbound on Interstate 5. Behind him were two motorcyclists. Above him was a pursuit helicopter. Evan was in his fiery Fiero, a twin turbo charged, low pro beast that he had his life savings invested in. When the chase began, he'd reached 190 mph, but the friggin helicopter could not be outrun. So Evan was going to where he knew he could lose his low air and ground pursuit - Comic Con. People had been getting on Evan Will's ass all his life: 'You white- you can't play basketball with us.' 'You live in a black neighborhood. We would prefer that you leave.' 'White boy, how you can gonna tell me I aint going to get up in your little sister?' That fool had found out the hard way. The first of a few, but not necessarily the last. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYW3mVUyUtI— July 24, 2010 5:28 p.m.
GIN and Ironic
Evan sat back down, and flicked his eyes quickly toward his left (I need to go) then said to Tino "Where were we?" Tino blinked once (aye) and said "Evan, I think we need cool down period, then we speak later okay?" "Fine. Out." In Buenos Aires, the hotelroom flat screen went blank, and the kids gasped. Tino clapped his hands and snapped his fingers saying "Evan and surfer boys play rough, that's all. Come on. Evan recommunicate in due course. Stephanie, what is your pleasure? Say me, eh?" Tino winked at Soccer Mom- everything's okay. .............................................................. Meanwhile, back at the pad, Evan needed to get out of the commo room, and quickly. The men were tending to the knocked out fool, who was obviously going to the infirmary. At the door, a particularly burly young bad boy's eyes were boring holes in Evan Will. Evan stood up and said "I know you´re all mad, but dude cheap shotted me, and if I go for that, next thing you know someone wants to back shoot me, and I ain't going for it. You people thought you saw me on TV, but TVs not real. When homie wakes up, tell him next time, ask for my autograph. I don't play that way." Evan stood up and went toward the door. The burly bad boy stepped in his way and said "What's your hurry?" The Ease smirked, shook his head and looked a little downward like 'I don't want to get into it with you, too.' Then won an Oscar with the following line, looking up toward the doorway, eyes widening, putting his hands up and pleading "Chief, I swear I didn't-" When Evan got to the word 'didn't' the young bad boy's body spasmed. He made way for the chief to enter the room and snapped to attention. As he did, BOOM Evan Will drove an elbow into the bad boy's solar plexus driving him out of the way, and hauled ass out of the room. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fs1xHPU7WwA— July 24, 2010 3:25 p.m.
GIN and Ironic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wdk_zq1y_rE— July 23, 2010 11:32 a.m.
GIN and Ironic
"So it's not a gay thing on your part?" quipped Evan Will. Amy and Kenny laughed. Tino walked off camera, snapped his fingers and put his index finger to his lips. He walked back on camera. The Ease said "What's wrong?" "Just trying to get some quiet in the peanut gallery, that's all." said Tino, looking back at the kids archly. Amy and Kenny looked at each other- 'Tino got burned.' Evan had one of those Evan Will moments, when it just occurred to him. He laughed, looked to his right and said "Me, too." BOOM A pair of arms shoved him from his left, off of camera in a blur. Guess he didn't see that coming. You could hear a tussle but that was all. In a few moments, Evan reappeared on camera, smoothing his hair, pulling down his shirt, checking his lip for blood, nodding his head, and producing a sheet of paper. He sniffed, pouted, looked down, gave an 'I'm sorry' look to his right (to locate the a**hole that cheap shotted him, who sure enough, emerged forward to menace him further) cleared his throat, and BOOM Evan exploded off camera to his right, dropped the fool like bad habittackling him in his mid-section, wrapped him up tight, and began head butting him as they went down. All Tino and the kids and Stephanie could hear on their side were shouts of 'Break!' and 'Release!' over and over. Finally, Evan reappeared on camera, pulling at his sleeves, and hunching his shoulders. He turned and said to the knocked out sucker "That's my afro beat!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wdk_zq1y_rE— July 23, 2010 11:28 a.m.
GIN and Ironic
Evan Will reappeared on the screen, and said "Tino, I want to have a conversation with you." "Then have a seat." replied Tino. "What?" "I don't engage in polite conversation standing up." said Tino. "You're standing." said Evan Will. "I didn't request the pleasure of your company, and I employ the phrase loosely." said Tino. "This is some more of your cop shop crap, isn't it?" asked the Ease. "I prefer the term 'disciplined interaction.'" said Tino. "I'm not sitting if you're standing." said Evan. "Then you prefer a conversation in passing?" replied Tino. "How come you speak such good English?" asked Evan. "I am educated and refined." said Tino. A chair flew at Evan from side stage and he barely had time to bat it down. He said "Hey, watch it, f***er.!" then took the seat, sat down, looked to his side again and said "I'm not so much concerned with your....provocations?" he looked to the side again and looked back toward the camera and continued "Provocations, right, as I am with your..." he didn't look to the side this time just listened, and continued "Concerns." Tino remained standing, clasped his hands behind his back, and began striding back and forth. Evan thought to himself 'This guy really is a cop, and that's good. Cops aren't that difficult to deal with.' Evan nodded to the side slightly- 'I can handle this.' Tino said "My concern is that the handcuffs spin around too many times." Evan shot a glance to the side- 'Wait a sec, if this cop is crazy, then what?' "Uh, can you be more specific?" Evan probed. "Police don't like domestic disputes." "Neither do I." replied Evan Will. "Additional thoughts?" asked Tino, thinking 'I have his attention, time to spring a trap.' "What's this about every man has a feminine side?" "Every man does have a femine side- it comes from his mother."— July 22, 2010 8:43 p.m.
GIN and Ironic
Back inside the hotel room, Tino, Stephanie, Kenny and Amy watched Evan Will appear on a skype connection on the flat screen. Tino was on camera. "Evan Will, this is Tino. Do you read me" "I'm in." "Your concerns, please." "Where's Stephanie Clifton?" Stephanie stepped on camera, and said "I'm here, Evan." "Hey, Steph. What happened to Schneider?" "A-Team Tanzania joined up with Schneider and his companions. Schneider was perfectly distraught when Germany lost in semi-finals, but his companions consoled him. A-Team Tanzania joined him atop Kilimanjaro and they all removed the German flag with honors. They descended Kilimanjaro safely, and were met with a hero's welcome. Tanzania threw Schneider a huge party." "Really?" asked Evan. "Yes, really." replied Stephanie Clifton. "Let me guess- beer and bratwurst." said the Ease. "Something like that." "What about about Andy?" asked Evan. "I have no information on that subject, for it's not of any concern." said Stephanie Clifton, beaming ear to ear. Evan stepped off camera and you could hear men whooping and hollering slapping thighs, clapping hands and cheering.— July 22, 2010 5:31 p.m.
GIN and Ironic
Buenos Aires, Argentina Stephanie Clifton returned, and walked into the hotel room. Kenny instantly went for the hotel room fridge, pulled out a beer, and opened it. "What do you think you're doing?" said Stephanie. "Perfectly legal in Buenos Aires, mom. Perfectly legal." said Kenny. "Put that back!" snapped Stephanie. Kenny did so in a hurry. Amy ran up to him and socked him on the arm. Stephanie looked at Tino and said "You. Outside." Pointing to the balcony. On the balcony, both leaned over the rail. Stephanie said "I can't believe that you would do this, Tino." Tino looked out through the dusky air, out to the grey landscape of buildings that comprised the furious city of Buenos Aires, Argentina, and responded "Stephanie, do you remember when you told me about your fears over your son?" Stephanie swallowed. "Yes." "At that time, I take the decision to help you." The Soccer Mom's eyes welled up with tears. Finally she said "Are you toying with my emotions?" "No, Stephanie. Do we have instructions?" "Yes, you're to patch things up with Evan Will once and for all" "How?" "Evan is in San Diego. A skype link is ready." "So, clear the air once and for all?" "Yes." Tino thought to himself 'My superiors must have approved this.' "Very well." he said.— July 22, 2010 5:20 p.m.