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where is he???...where has Full Flavored Pike gone
re: #21: Ah, ha! Nan is picking up on the punctuation effect--and I only just posted my recommendations on your thread, nan ;) Nan worried: "now what will i write about??? so do u want the bright red sequins or the yellow starfish ones on ur summer flip flops" Nan, if I got married, I'd let you write the vows--I mean that seriously. It is the kind of thing you would do better than anybody else. Flip flops: Well, as you recall, they already had pink silk and white sequins, or something--but I like your idea better for a summer wedding. Maybe we can marry Cuddle off to someone, just so we can have fun planning some more Internet nuptials!— February 18, 2010 11:57 a.m.
Attachments... a book ...come on by SDaniels and let me know if u want to sort thru this book with me
re: bottom of post #7: Oops! Speaking of writing prose with clarity, my last sentence should read: "You can do the same thing, and infuse your line breaks and punctuation WITH MEANINGS THAT SUPPORT THE WHOLE, FOR any given section or passage."— February 18, 2010 11:50 a.m.
Attachments... a book ...come on by SDaniels and let me know if u want to sort thru this book with me
(cont.) Now, written as straight prose: “Her tribe would be getting ready for the whaling. Many generations before, they had fought long and hard with the government to have their whaling rights returned to them.” To ready your work for publication, this is a decision I think an editor would force you to make, Nan. In fact, before I showed it to an editor, I would do it. If I chose to go with a prose poem, I would work with line breaks and punctuation to infuse the whole work with the rhythms and cadences I wanted. If I went with prose, I’d rewrite it to make sentences much stronger. Either way, the text would have to be revised beyond just adding punctuation. There would have to be more content added for the prose, to make it conform to novelistic conventions (for example, of plot) and the expectations of the reader of the novel. I hope this is helpful to you. You’ve got some great stuff here, Nan. I think it would sell better as a novel, but your strength seems to be primarily in poetry, so perhaps the prose poem is the better medium for you. In that case, I could see you submitting a portion of it in an application to a writer’s residence program. “The man” did one of these in northern California, and it was an amazing month among the redwoods overlooking the sea, and a bunch of artists, writers, choreographers, and musicians/composers. I can get more info on it if you like. :)— February 18, 2010 11:42 a.m.
Attachments... a book ...come on by SDaniels and let me know if u want to sort thru this book with me
I think it is because I have a lot of stomach pain as well as invasive surgeries, and sometimes it feels like a little gremlin is in there, punching my insides. But yes, it is beautiful nonetheless. ;) More importantly, to the wonderful images in your own work! Now, I'm just taking a sample here: "her tribe would be getting ready for the whaling they had fought long and hard with the government many generations before to have their whaling rights returned to them" My initial thoughts on this project: I understand that you are caught between poetry and prose here, Nan. You want to communicate a story that happens in linear time and space enough to force you to use prose to push things forward, yet you are a poet, and used to writing in straight metaphor, with no use for conjunctions or prepositions-- or punctuation. However, there is a need for all of this grammar if you are writing in prose; taking the sentence above, the lack of capitalization of the first letter of the first word of a sentence, and the run on formed between "whaling" and "they" makes for a frustrating, confusing read. I see two choices: Either make this into a giant prose poem, but use enough punctuation and spacing to make it more understandable, or rewrite it as a true novel, adding in all of the missing grammar that straight prose needs. If you wrote it as a prose poem, you could use line breaks to make the lines easier to read, and to work in more poetic rhythms: As part of a long prose poem: "Her tribe would be getting ready for the whaling; they had fought long and hard, with the government many generations before, to have their whaling rights returned to them." My line breaks may not be the most aesthetic or right for your work; this is just to get an idea of what I’m talking about. A lot of poetry uses punctuation and sentence structure, along with line breaks. Walt Whitman, for example, whose longer poems like “Song of Myself” make use of punctuation in order to facilitate reading, but also with aesthetic purpose and effect. You can do the same thing, and infuse your line breaks and punctuation support and help create meanings that you want in any given section or passage.— February 18, 2010 11:41 a.m.
The Early Daze, part 2
Nan, it works in your poetry, for which you know I have a great deal of respect, but I don't think it works in prose, where you have to try and control a little more the directions your metaphors take. Because "heal" and "heel" are homonyms, so the trace of "heal" is there, though it might lead us down the wrong interpretive path in prose. As a poet, you are used to working in vertical fashion, building paradigmatic totems of proliferating meanings. Metonymic, more temporally linear writing does that differently. However, I think I'm changing my mind about the "cage" stuff--Cuddle's right--it does work. When you are faced with a decision on the spot, and you are torn in different directions, you might get the image of shutting a door--or a cage. I always get the image of a bubble around me that comes down, like a protective wall or layer that I can control. Plath's bell jar was an example of this kind of thing, but it came down to suffocate her outside of her control...— February 18, 2010 11:08 a.m.
Tundra # 5
Elaine looks majestic enough to have wielded the Cannon herself! What next? Will Mushroom come back with his own arsenal? Will Tundra learn field maneuvers of his own? Did Tundra scratch Quillpena during the melee? So many possibilities.— February 18, 2010 8:37 a.m.
Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence
I need to see this one. Last Oshima I saw was "In the Realm of the Senses." A fantastic director, with plenty of cinematic 'beauty and power' to spare. ;)— February 17, 2010 8:57 p.m.
Attachments... a book ...come on by SDaniels and let me know if u want to sort thru this book with me
Ahhhhhgggg! Ok, let me get over the trauma of that photo, then I will read and come back to comment. ;)— February 17, 2010 7:19 p.m.
The Early Daze, part 1
Wow! Excellent.— February 17, 2010 7:17 p.m.
The Early Daze, part 2
“My boot shaped little brother stomped his heal into my dream.” It would be a perfect line if it were "heel" instead of "heal," because the connotations of "healing" don't really work there. This feels like the makings of a great novel, with this title, perhaps, just as great a line: “When tomorrow comes, you bastards will know I wasn’t here today!” Seriously, this does feel like a portion of an autobio that I would read--so much to identify with, which shows that you are good at what you do. Keep posting! ;)— February 17, 2010 7:13 p.m.