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Who Is Matthew Alice, Gringo?

re: post 13: Duhbya, "faux," rather... two CIA agents at the door. Agent #1 with a pencil thin tie (guess the Fed has a Prada budget these days for some 'outfits'), and a tone of voice just as menacingly thin and tightly knotted, wanted to know where I learned certain "informations" about one Matthew Alice. Agent #2 just stood there, pointing his ears at me in a most intimidating fashion--which put me in such a fluster that I actually forgot to wonder how it was possible to point one's ears at a person. I protested innocence, and averred that my part in this discussion was only a brief continuance of the silliness of a farce perpetrated by jayallen in post 4. The two agents stared me down in the annoyingly (to them) soft, pink-tinted light of my foyer, but coupled with that glare, it was as effective as if they had directed a brutal 1000-watt bulb at my peepers. I was ready to drop the machinations, and sobbingly confess all I had--but just then, there was a wooden thump, without much resonation on the hallway's cheap linoleum tile. Then another--thwump! and two more in succession...thwump--thwa--thwump! As Agent #2 had leaned forward, intent on ear-pointing, one of his lobes caught on Agent #1's razerous tie, and the two of them lost their land legs in a sudden complex tangle so hilarious that I wish I'd installed video cameras, so I could have it forever to replay in slow mo. --Literally lost their legs--for there lay on my foyer floor for anyone to see: four little roughly carved pine stilts. Two elves in coats now daddy-length swathes of material, leapt nimbly to their feet, but the look on their faces, colored hotly in the aforementioned pink glow of the hallway ambiance bulb,-- oh god, that flush of embarrassment alone could have launched a reality show or two! So...I finished..."It's a rather late hour, don'tcha think? But I've got some cocoa and Keebler cookies! In fact, I've also got some sewing to do...and vaccuming, and all sorts of things you guys are supposed to do in the middle of the night, right? Hey! Love those slippers--I'm looking for some like those--with the bell!" They scrambled up, grabbing their stilts, and swished away with all of the dignity they could muster, hampered by long bridal trains of coat and pant leg. "Grandma'll kill us" I thought I heard one of them mutter, then the hall door slammed shut.
— April 5, 2010 3:39 p.m.

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