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I don't know where I live
It seems like you work so hard to be neutral, not even stating your gender, and using "guy or girl," etc. with a kind of bland, repressed effect. Then all of a sudden you bust out with your biases: there are "dang hipsters," then you only want to talk to people who like or live in City Heights, then: "One lonely seedy bar that caters to the Spanish speaking population." How is it lonely if it caters to an entire population? "Say what you will, but I am wary of strange older Mexican men." So, the black boys hanging on the corner were fine "until recently," and older Mexican men are "strange?" People are definitely "strange" if you don't know them, sure. The overall effect of the blog is that you are suppressing something. It's as though there are hotter topics you want to explore but might be afraid to, that it might compromise your vision of where you live, and you want to express your pride in your area, too. I say, take the plunge and try to expand on your more incendiary statements here, and work through them. It will make for more interesting--and authentic--reading. Tell us what happened to make you write "until recently," for example. The only thing that qualifies you for my particular "love of diversity" is that you wear frumpy and scandalous pjs walking at night. I only talk to that kind of girl ;)— April 15, 2010 6:24 p.m.
Last of SPAWAR Defendants Sentenced to Prison
re: #5 and 6: Pardon, late to the convo, but that story was fabulous, refried, and the suites and rooms and pool worthy of some film treatment indeed--as is the subject of lurid procurement of military contracts and bribes for multi-nefarious favors. One such treatment: Tony Richardson's The Loved One (1965): The Reverend Glenworthy(Jonathan Winters) of the pricey and cultish Whispering Glades (spoofing Forest Lawn) is plotting to disinter the caskets and launch them into space, thus freeing the cemetery for valuable land use as a senior citizen's home (a business with a "brisker turnover"). He had planned to initiate this program with the cooperation of Air Force General Brinkman by using the body of an astronaut for the first corpse launch ("Resurrection Now!"). To introduce the idea to the General, Glenworthy holds a "business conference" for Brinkman and his officers in his cathedral-like suites above Whispering Glades's main halls, in a "casket showroom" replete with wet bar and sleazy cocktail lounge soundtrack. The military elite is creeped out at first, when invited to "try out" the various models. But just then the lids of the caskets begin to slowly rise, and stiletto-clad gams emerge, pointing impishly. They are, of course, soon followed by other attractive model parts. "San Antone!" cries one officer, charging forward. ;)— April 15, 2010 6:58 a.m.
The Big Lebowski
"I could be just sitting at home with pee stains on my rug."— April 15, 2010 6:22 a.m.
Steve is a Loser
Oh my gawd, Grant. You are a SAINT!!! My fave quotes, and oh so familiar: "When I would get home, he would want to go out and spend my money, because he was "bored"." "He perfected the petulant, wounded child shtick so well" "He was just a stupid, abusive, lazy, irresponsible bum who tried to pass himself off as this deep-thinking, brooding, lost soul that I couldn't possibly understand." "My as*hole was named" Jon Shepardson. I think you've inspired me to reconsider the topic of my next blog! Refried, no offense, but I disagree about this topic being novel material. It's a definite short story. A really juicy, good short story. All Grant's needs is some structural cleanup and a slowdown, with more descriptive detail. In fact, it would be sooo much fun if everyone took this one up! Reader: let's put on a contest!— April 14, 2010 11 p.m.
Steve is a Loser
Before I continue reading, I must point out this awesome Freudian slippage, second pp, second to last sentence: "How bad good he be?"— April 14, 2010 10:42 p.m.
The Big Lebowski
"That rug really tied the room together." "Hey, careful man! There's a beverage here!"— April 14, 2010 10:38 p.m.
Cat Exercise Video!!
Sample testimonial rewrite: "Finally! An exercise video I can do with my cat! It has brought us closer together than I could hope. Thanks Cat Exercise Video, from me and Boots!"— April 14, 2010 10:25 p.m.
Cat Exercise Video!!
"sleek, unemployed, bed-loving self-cleaning machine in just a few weeks" Hmmm. I already fit this bill, with the exception of "sleek." Employed, but just barely :) RE: testimonial of HG from Little Rock: "Since learning to perfect "the slump", my beer-drinking technique has improved, and I am no longer self-conscious eating while lying down!!"" Just make sure you don't start "hanging" over the water bowl. Grant, you KNOW you do need some legal disclaimers, or the FDA will be after you: "This product not intended to cure, diagnose, treat any disease or condition" yadayadayada Of course, if you show me "the butt," technique, I'll rewrite your testimonials for you :)— April 14, 2010 10:21 p.m.
crossroads in time
Ok, we'll see. This is my week to be flummoxed by nonprofessional fictionists...and, I must admit that it doesn't seem like the "real" mentaltwist. :)— April 14, 2010 9:40 p.m.
What would people be surprised to know about you?
Ok, that did surprise me about Joe. Damn, that's a long fall. ;)— April 14, 2010 9:38 p.m.