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Elusive Salvation
Oh, and thanks nan and cf. Nan, I'm sorry about your daughter. I am happy to hear your son is doing well.— June 23, 2010 3:48 p.m.
Elusive Salvation
I'm sorry, Eric, I did not mean to presume. No disservice intended, although implied. I suppose my current situation with my sister has me oversensitive to this issue, because I do not normally find myself so outspoken about this particular subject, in particular, I have been known to speak of alcohol fondly in previous blogs and posts. But don't you find yourself angry at John, ever? I am furious with my sister for not getting treatment when she first discovered her tumor and putting her family through this. I have a hard time with the senselessness of a life shortened by one's own deeds. Maybe this is what I am trying to reconcile. Turning that anger into an emotion more useful. I know it serves no useful purpose. I don't know John well, but his columns always speak to me and I look forward to them. It is always the first page I go to. I remember when he changed his focus to actually Friday events and I thought "what the hell is the Reader making him do?" His attempts were pretty funny. You could read between the lines. I don't know. I am probably not mature enough to come to grips with the finite nature of this blog. I was glad to see a new one today.— June 23, 2010 2:55 p.m.
Elusive Salvation
I guess what I am getting at is how many of John's friends glamorize his drinking, as if that is part of his persona and his appeal. Writers drink - but what came first? The alcohol or the writing? A writer's life can be lonely and isolated. Drinking and great writing have always been linked. I understand the link to creativity and substance abuse, but not all creative people are alcoholics. I wonder - if John were not a writer, would his friends be so quick to champion him? You know, Eric, when you say that it's easier to give in and staying clean is difficult and that none of that takes away from his skill as a writer nor his value as a friend but then go on to say that he damaged many friendships, I have to say that you are defending some pretty bad behavior. It is a slap in the face to all the men and women who everyday fight the cravings for alcohol and manage their lives (and the ones who died trying) and don't leave sons without fathers and mothers without daughters. And friends without friends. I'll even go so far as to say that there are probably plenty of writers out there that manage to do their jobs without succumbing to what has traditionally been expected, and even encouraged, of them. As much as I like John and admire his talent, never do you ever hear him so much as say he is sorry for how his actions affected others. Don't you think that many lives may have been made easier if he had not taken the "easier" route of addiction rather than the more difficult choice of sobriety? When people say, well, he is only hurting himself, they could not be more wrong. I know how hard it is to quit things that are destroying your life. Most people come to that decision when theirs is not the only life being negatively affected. Only the truly selfish refuse. Selfish in the manner that rather than endure the discomfort that sobriety brings to the alcoholic, they instead chose to make themselves more comfortable at the cost of the lives around them and the complete devastation their choice brings. Again, I know that it is almost impossible for certain people to stop drinking. My sister was offered an extensive rehab. She refused and instead chose drinking. I do not defend this choice. I am not insensitive. When I look at her kids and see the fright in their eyes, I cannot condone anymore or feel the usual sympathy I had for the actions of alcoholics and addicts. Asking others to remember a different John is difficult at best when you are exposed to the horrors of this disease up close and personal. You may be a friend, but I seriously doubt your life has been negatively impacted on a daily basis over his choices. Otherwise I would not think you, and he, would be so cavalier with regard to his inability to at least, at this point, take some responsibility for his actions. It is the decent thing to do, especially when you profess to die by your own hand.— June 23, 2010 1:26 p.m.
Elusive Salvation
Lest you all think I am some horrible monster, I do NOT want John B to die. I have been reading his writing for as long as I have been in San Diego. I want him to stop drinking. I know it may be too late, but there is always hope. I hate alcoholism. Some who know me better know that I have a sister who has ruined her life because of it. She is having surgery today for breast cancer. We do not know how invasive it is. She let it go because she was too drunk to take care of herself. She has two daughters. We are all scared to death. This is what happens. Alcohol steals, robs and betrays everyone who has the misfortune of stepping in its awful path, even if you are not the one doing the drinking. I am sorry about John's health. I am sad that so many lives are destroyed from the one decision that every alcoholic makes every day when they get up. Today - do I drink or do I not? Many may argue that they have no choice. I have to strongly disagree with that. Life is hard, and sometimes it sucks, but strength and personal responsibility prevent the rest of us from careening off the tracks whenever things get a little too tough. My sister, like John, had many, many people help her and she still chose to drink. I am sorry if I sounded like a horrible person. This hit too close to home.— June 23, 2010 11:15 a.m.
Elusive Salvation
"Yet, for many creative people, children are secondary to leaving an artistic legacy" Oh, god, how did I miss this one? Sylvia Plath with her head in an oven while her children were sequestered in another room with a towel shoved under the door? At least she was mad and not just a selfish alcoholic. And she did not stretch it out over a length of time that allowed dilusional people to continually come to her defense while she only threatened to die.— June 22, 2010 6:42 p.m.
OK ????
I know, huh? I used to hate my butt in high school. When I see pictures now, I'm seriously mad at myself for not appreciating it. It did not have an ounce of fat on it, but I wanted the butts of the girls whose jeans hung on them. We had two girls in high school who always wore white. One of them had the "no butt" and we all envied her. It did not stop us from christening them "the Tampon Twins"!!— June 22, 2010 6:35 p.m.
Lamprocapnos spectabilis
Nan!! As usual, I am stunned by the beauty of this post. We women will always have to defend ourselves against expressing the beautiful side of life. There are many names used, bleeding heart, raging feminist, some I would rather leave alone. If this is what a bleeding heart looks like, I will let mine bleed. Sometimes I wonder then why, if men find us so desirable, do they spend precious time belittling the very things that make us female?— June 22, 2010 6:28 p.m.
None
Disgusting is too kind a word to describe this. Using animals and AIDS as a lead-in to sell your "How To Be a Corporate Douche Bag" BS is about as classless as you can get.— June 21, 2010 12:30 p.m.
Elusive Salvation
Puhleeezze. "He hurtles toward it now, down the river of life on his makeshift raft, he can see the misting spray, he can hear the roar of falling water… " Schlock. You cannot be serious.— June 20, 2010 9:47 p.m.
Cookin with mama
This was a great blog!! My mom taught us all to cook. She held down a full time job and we did a lot of the cooking. It is something I enjoy to this day. I just got my cholesterol readings back. My doctor wrote "excellent!" on the printout. I think this can be attributed to cooking our meals, because we can control what goes into our food. Like refried said, teaching your kids to cook is important. It bonds you as a family.— June 20, 2010 11:02 a.m.