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Stories by Walter Mencken

Spoiled Milk

Before Harvey Milk was the first openly gay elected official in California history, he was in the Navy. His time as a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors ended tragically when he and …

Duncan Hunter: San Diego's good soldier

Disclaimer: None of this ever really happened. But then, Donald Trump is President… When I found Duncan Hunter — the former Marine and soon-to-be former Congressman from the United States’ 50th District — holding down …

December 25, 2019
Children of the Immaculate Hate?

“The sad truth is that over 5000 women in San Diego County are forced into the commercial sex trade each year,” says Roxanne Redlight, Chairwoman for the County Vice Department. “It’s a dangerous, dehumanizing, despair-inducing, …

Bankrupt Bee Flees to Sea

Former Bumble Bee Tuna CEO Chris Lischewski raises a defiant fist as he slips out of San Diego harbor aboard the Chicken of the Sea in an attempt to elude authorities after being convicted for …

SDSU President pleads for dead student’s family to respect the University’s privacy (and policy) in this time of great distress (and potential liability).

On November 7, San Diego State freshman Dylan Hernandez was found in his bed without a pulse. He died soon after; the cause was blunt force trauma to the head. Investigators determined that he had …

Disney: Lego of our IP!

Anonymous Legoland employee: “Remember, no one imagined that adorable little Anakin Skywalker would ever grow up to be the evil Lord Vader, brutal enforcer for a tyrannical Empire. Just so, did anyone suspect that sweet …

Trump: ORCAs will eat SEALs for lunch!

Last July, a San Diego jury reduced Navy SEAL Eddie Gallagher’s rank following his conviction for posing for a photo with a dead ISIS fighter. But President Trump, who knows the value of an aggressive …

Horton Homeless Haven?

Back in May, boosters of San Diego’s downtown rejoiced at the news that the near-derelict Horton Plaza Mall would be redeveloped into a hi-tech campus by Stockdale Capital Partners, which purchased the formerly fabulous shopping …

Sea World announces plans to replace Aquatica Water Park with Sesame Place San Diego

From the very beginning, the public television show Sesame Street was designed to be something that would capture children’s attention so that it could educate them, not just entertain. So it may have seemed surprising …

Journalism: Going, Going, Gonzalez

San Diego-based California Assemblywoman Lorena Gonzalez has taken some heat lately for her role in passing AB 5, a law going into effect on January 1 that requires many California companies to treat workers as …

Special SDQT feature: FutureNews from 2050!

Biotech executive Jackson Powell enjoys a low-tide visit to the rooftop deck of his Del Mar home. “The people who talked about managed retreat back in 2019 forgot the fundamental rule of life: every problem …

On the War(ren)path

On October 3, Democratic Presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren visited downtown San Diego to hold an outdoor Town Hall, “not unlike the powwows held by the Kumeyaay and other tribes that once called this land home, …

Trump Grant-ed Pardon?

Trump: “The resemblance is uncanny: multiple failed business ventures, greatest achievements all prior to taking office, a seemingly endless parade of scandals and cabinet upheavals, but nevertheless an enduring public interest — and most importantly, …

Dumps Over Trump’s

“President Trump said during his visit that he wants to ‘help’ the homeless in California by tearing down their tents and moving them into government housing,” said Homeless Advocate James Hardknox. “And it’s true that …

Deadly Earnest?

Police are still searching for the “From the Hipster” shooter who put a bullet in a man’s stomach at the Clairemont Friendship Center on September 22. “Right now, we’re treating it as an attempted murder,” …

Following protests and vandalism, Drag Queens reach out to peeved Pentecostal

South Bay Pentecostal Church Executive Pastor Amado Huizar is a man willing to fight for what he believes in, which is why he protested Chula Vista’s decision to host a Drag Queen Story Hour in …

Children’s entertainment icon joins protest against Drag Queen Story Hour after Chula Vista debut

Shockwaves shook the cultural landscape today as longtime allies the Magic Kingdom and the Fabulous Queendom clashed over the latter’s use of the former’s intellectual property at a local public event. At a Drag Queen …

Longtime effort to lure Great Whites to La Jolla via sedentary seals bears fruit

In 1931, Ellen Browning Scripps paid for the construction of a breakwater that would create a place where children could play and swim undisturbed by the fierce ocean’s tumultuous waves. And for decades, that’s exactly …

SANDAG points to gas laws to explain housing allocations

“Well of course Imperial Beach is unhappy that we’re asking them to build 1375 units next year,” says SANDAG Housing Czar Stan Packer. “It’s a 500% increase from the last housing cycle. And of course …

Harassment claims inspire bold new work for upcoming opera season

“We were scrambling for a little while there,” says James “Silk Purse” Sowsear, Creative Director and House Composer at San Diego Opera. “There we were, thinking we’d scored a major coup: signing Placido Domingo himself …

Local Irish pubs rush to commemorate UFC fighter’s barroom assault

A video posed on the Internet makes the case that on August 15, former UFC champion Conor McGregor sought to buy everyone at the bar in Dublin’s The Marble Arch a round of his Proper …

Family of Rebecca Zahau questions use of San Diego special investigators in examination of Jeffrey Epstein suicide

On July 13 of 2011, Rebecca Zahau was found dead outside the Coronado home of her boyfriend. She had apparently been hung from a second-story balcony. Her wrists and ankles were bound, and she had …

San Diego delegation congressman joins Juan Vargas and Scott Peters in calling for Trump’s impeachment

Representative also contests recent report that county is “rat-infested” — but President disagrees

Scouts BSA welcomes first troop of non-scouts

It wasn’t long ago that the organization Scouts BSA was known as the Boy Scouts of America. The name still appears at the top of the scouting.org website, and the “BSA” part of Scouts BSA …

El Jardin owner shuts down high-end Mexican restaurant in Liberty Station, promises massive redesign

“Apparently, a rave from the New York Times, a James Beard semifinalist chef, and a Michelin Guide award aren’t enough to convince you pig-ignorant philistines that Mexican alta cocina is actually a thing,” said owner …

Padres manager Andy Green reassures fans

“Look,” said San Diego Padres Manager Andy “Gang” Green, addressing fans who gathered outside his home in the wee hours of July 18 to hold what may have been a torchlight vigil of some kind, …

Great White no match for brown tide

On July 14, a dead juvenile Great White shark washed ashore on the beach in Carlsbad. Locals who had been growing increasingly wary of shark attacks in the warming waters off of San Diego were …

Navy SEALs Patch Things Up Post-Gallagher

From left to right: The “Bunch of Pussies” patch, so called because, according to a letter provided to the Navy Times, Gallagher responded to criticism that it was extremely unnecessary to train troops by placing …

Motion underway to re-try exonerated Edward Gallagher following Duncan Hunter’s statement of support

On July 2, SEAL Chief Edward Gallagher was acquitted of the murder of a wounded ISIS combatant who died while under his care in 2017. The case garnered national attention, to the point where President …

Prosecutors draw link between Duncan’s dough, nuts

Congressman Duncan Hunter, currently under indictment for misuse of campaign funds, is unhappy that a judge has ruled that evidence showing he used those funds to finance extramarital affairs with lobbyists and staffers may be …

Faulconer brings visual aids to White House meeting with President Trump

“What’s a good Republican to do?” lamented Mayor Kevin Faulconer as he surveyed his “3D Powerpoint” presentation for the President on June 18. “Starting from my right: the portable Blue Boy tank is full of …

Much Ado About Machado: Manager Green defends slugger’s offensive outburst

Then again, maybe Green doesn’t mind paying $30 million for a projected 30 home runs and a .270 batting average. Franmil Reyes has 20 HRs already, and he makes $570K, so the math seems to …

Captain of industry puts the axe to La Jolla’s Lorax tree

In the town of La Jolla, at the edge of Scripps Park Grew a Monterey Cypress, full of sap, leaves, and bark. A healthy old tree, and quite famous to boot Since it helped Dr. …

Coronado millionaire residents put homes to the torch rather than endure “more subtle forms of community destruction.”

“SANDAG says we may have to make room for 1800 more housing units,” says longtime resident Reginald Cashflow. “On Coronado, an island with about two square miles of buildable real estate that already holds 9500. …

Representative takes aim at critics of accused Navy SEAL Edward Gallagher

In a surprising development, military judge Captain Aaron Rugh today dismissed all charges against Navy SEAL Edward Gallagher related to his alleged murder of an injured Islamic State prisoner under his care and the shooting …

Quarterback who never gave San Diego a ring gets a little payback

Court proceedings began last week for the case of Drew Brees vs. La Jolla’s CJ Charles Jewelers. Brees claims that owner Vahid Moradi sold him and his wife Brittany $15 million worth of diamonds over …

In wake of #StopTheBans protests, Kevin Faulconer pledges support for abortion rights in Georgia, Alabama, and Missouri

Faulconer: “I promise you, ladies, that I see you and hear you. I will not act to restrict abortion rights in San Diego. Or, for that matter, in any other place: in California, or America, …

Cathedral Catholic students, supporters rally against skirt ban

Until May 17, girls at Cathedral Catholic high school were permitted to wear skirts that stopped no more than three inches above the knee and didn’t “cling to contours.” But faculty frustration with repeated violations …

President issues Memorial Day pardon for Qualcomm

On May 22, US District Court Judge Lucy Koh ruled that San Diego-based telecommunications giant Qualcomm had violated US anti-trust law via the licensing fees it charges for patented technology that allows cell phones to …

Kim Kardashian knocks Jack in the Box out of the marketplace after Tweet

On May 20, Kim Kardashian West Tweeted at Jack Box, mascot for the San Diego-based fast food chain Jack in the Box: “Hey, Jack In The Box I have a serious complaint but I won’t …

Rancho Santa Fe rooster rouster Larry West vows challenge to controversial disqualification at Kentucky Cockfighting Championship

“Tradition is everything here at the Kentucky Cockfighting Championship,” says Larry West, still shaking his head in disbelief over the unprecedented turn of events that cost him the honor of strutting into the Winner’s Square …

Excitable Padres pitcher Chris Paddack injures self during beef with rival rookie

Some baseball experts are calling Padres rookie Chris Paddack the best pitcher in the Major Leagues right now. But “best pitcher” doesn’t necessarily mean “best teammate,” at least according to several anonymous San Diego players …

The Lorax Leaves La Jolla: Seuss stand-in skedaddles after San Diego scored sixth smoggiest city in nation

As sad, strangled Swomee-Swans mournfully depart overhead and harried Humming-Fish hustle to escape the bacteria-ridden waters below, a grumpy Lorax remonstrates with the unrepentant Onceler, who offers him a trash can where he can stick …

SDG&E mascot begs for company to be relieved of temptation to abuse its customers

When SDG&E created smartwatch-based mascot Friendly McPlugface, they gave him one simple task: convince people that it’s okay for the company that provides people with electricity to charge more when people actually need that electricity. …

UCSD Biology Department confirms existence of the human soul in light of LGBTQIA+ campus policy statement

“Ever since the rise of modern science in the wake of the Enlightenment,” says UCSD Professor of Human Biology Viz Empirical, “biology has concerned itself with what it can experimentally and observationally verify. More metaphysical …

Fake Fleet jerseys still command more cash on eBay than real Chargers gear

Fake Fleet jerseys still command more $$$ on eBay than real Chargers gear

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