REALIZING JUST WHAT THOSE MOTOR CARS ARE SYMBOLIC OF, LA JOLLA — Marc Chase, co-owner of Symbolic Motor Cars in La Jolla and alleged middleman in the Jose Azano Matsura political donation scandal, has come …

TIRED OF THE SAME-OLD SAME-OLD, LA JOLLA — In 2012, UC San Diego hired Wisconsin-based law professor Linda Greene to fill the newly created position of Vice Chancellor for Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion. Now, after …

WISHING THOSE POSTERS HAD NOT ACTUALLY BEEN FOUND ON THE WALL IN THE SDPD'S SEX CRIMES UNIT, DOWNTOWN — "Being chief is a tough job," says San Diego Police Chief Bill Lansdowne. "It's hard to …

SHOUTING "BOO YA!" AT WIKILEAKS AND SNOWDEN, NOBLE EXPERIMENT — Ever since Mayor-elect Kevin Faulconer's Media Manager Cara Talkingpoint announced the appointment of San Diego poet laureate Wanmor Bonghit to write the verse to be …

WATCHING THE SKY FOR BRIMSTONE, SANTEE — "It's not complicated," says Second Baptist Church of Santee Pastor T. Rebel Swiftsword, explaining his opposition to the Light & Life Foundation's decision to keep its Creation Museum …

QUICKENING MY PACE AS I PASS THE NEWSPAPER RACKS, DOWNTOWN — In honor of Valentine's Day, both the San Diego Reader and San Diego CityBeat released their annual sex-themed issues today. And as usual, both …

Statement from SDPD Chief Laydown: "In every case, Officer Hays was acting on credible tips from concerned citizens in downtown bars. One woman was said to be carrying 'sweater bombs,' another, 'a pair of bazookas,' …

THINKING ABOUT MAYBE VOTING UNDER THE INFLUENCE, BARRIO LOGAN — Mayoral candidate David Alvarez's campaign manager today issued a semi-formal quasi-disavowal of a pro-Alvarez endorsement from the famed Latino comedy duo of Cheech Marin and …

GIRDING MY LOINS FOR THE COMING TRIBULATION, GOLDEN HALL — Mayoral candidate Kevin Faulconer's campaign manager today issued a semi-formal quasi-disavowal of a pro-Faulconer ad placed in local shopping circulars by the Sons of Free …

FOLLOWING THE MONEY IN CIRCLES, DOWNTOWN — District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis received over 25 different contributions to her terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad mayoral campaign that were in some way connected to Azano Matsura, the …

TRYING TO TIME MY CAMERA TO CATCH THAT FIRST SPURT OF BLOOD, SEAWORLD — When young Max Guinn sees a problem, he sets out to do something about it. Guinn, the cofounder of Kids Eco …

ALL ALONG THE WATCHTOWER, PINE VALLEY — "We always knew this day would come," said Jedidiah McTavish, his eyes fixed on the interstate that would inevitably bring the marauding hordes to his doorstep, gallon jugs …

TURNING UP MY HEARING AID SO AS NOT TO MISS A WORD — "The State of your County Government is good," said Dianne Jacob, speaking slowly and distinctly to her visibly graying audience. "But I …

A 56-year-old employee of the Pine Hill Egg Ranch is currently under investigation by the District Attorney for the abuse of several chickens under his care. The chickens, which had slowed in their production, possibly …

KEEPIN’ IT REAL IN NORTH PARK — On January 8, U.S. attorney Laura Duffy unsealed federal indictments against 24 defendants, alleged members of a sex-trafficking ring based out of San Diego. The alleged crimes took …

Disney Exec to General Atomics COO: "If we could make people sympathize with an ecosystem's top predator (LION KING), we can make them sympathize with a robot death plane."

Following phenomenal success of BEEROLOGY exhibit, San Diego Museum of Man applies similar format to another cultural craze.

Over 10,000 years ago, playa-gatherers admired the first badonkadonk. Since then, butts have spread across the globe and have come to be known by many names. Other than breasts, and perhaps legs, they are the …

All-Pro quarterback's statement on abortion and traditional marriage "in no way represents the views of the San Diego Chargers football organization."

Interim Mayor Gloria: "Detroit has not one, but two major freshwater lakes in its backyard. And thanks to our city's efforts at pension reform, San Diego has a budget surplus. Really, it just made sense …

Why we published "Better Dead Than Red (State)," by Donald Androll, San Diego CityBeat Looking back over our previous 49 articles on local Judge Gary Kreep — a man who is not only a Conservative, …

DOT Head Don Dent: "We've already contracted with the estate of Paul Evans, whose 1959 hit 'Seven Little Girls (Sitting in the Back Seat)' contains the immortal chorus: 'Keep your mind on your driving/Keep your …

Even as her sexual harassment lawsuit against ex-Mayor Bob Filner gropes its way through the courts, Gloria Allred is taking on a new challenge: suing hippy strippers for pushing their portly product on queasy customers …

"Thanks be to Banksy," says Vista Mayor Art Krittick. And with good reason. Just weeks after the British graffitist thrilled New York City with a month-long spree of street art that turned ordinary buildings into …

"You ever hear of the San Diego Gulls?" asks Chargers Head Coach Mike McCoy as he cracks open a frosty can of Amstel Light. "Hockey team. They were around for eight seasons in the '90s …

Parade organizer: "These guys are on the front lines so your sons and daughters don't have to be."

Parade organizer: "It's kind of hard to honor veterans when they're passed out on the sidewalk under an old Smurfs sleeping bag."

It looks like nice guys finish first, after all. The luncheon was oh-so-private — strange to see a newspaper man honored by ladies who don't believe it's in good taste to appear in the newspaper …

Republican San Diego mayoral candidate Kevin Faulconer has made political hay from Democratic candidate Nathan Fletcher's refusal to release his college transcripts from his years at California Baptist University. "In these post-Filnerian times, we need …

Mark Lewis resigned as Mayor of El Cajon last week, citing cancer, a stroke, a dislocated shoulder, severe halitosis, acid reflux, diabetes, a nasty hangnail, and mild indigestion as his reasons for leaving office. But …

Every year, the San Diego State baseball team plays a game decked out in Halloween finery. This year's contest featured a homer-hitting Charger Girl, Facebook at shortstop, and King Kong as third base coach. But …

"Here's what's not going to happen," says General Atomics Head of Drone Relations Col Adderal. "We're not going to stop dropping bombs on the bad guys. Not even if the bad guys start standing really …

PISSING RIGHT ON THE OLD THIRD RAIL WHILE SINGING "MAMMY," JUNIPERO SERRA HIGH SCHOOL: Devon Harris gained fame as a founding member of the Jamaican Bobsled Team that competed in the 1988 Winter Olympics. It …

The estate of English author J.R.R. Tolkien, creator of The Lord of the Rings fantasy trilogy, today announced a $4.4 billion dollar lawsuit against the Spring Valley company Treebeard Landscape, citing copyright infringement. "Treebeard" says …

Though the criminal case against disgraced former mayor Bob "Big Hands" Filner has been closed in the wake of his guilty plea, attorney Gloria "Sue" Allred's sexual harassment suit, filed on behalf of Irene "Irate" …

To celebrate Corona's new status as the official beer of the San Diego Chargers, Corona is offering to throw a blowout tailgate party for you and twenty of your friends before December 8th's game against …

There is no solid, reality-based reason why billionaire Irwin Jacobs should support Nathan Fletcher's campaign for mayor. But as Sherlock Holmes always said, "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be …

El Zephyr, the San Diego-based luchador whose identity is known only to his sponsors at Lucha Libre Taco Shop, came forward today to announce his plan to debut a new wrestling move at next week's …

Citing "personal epiphany," mayoral candidate Nathan Fletcher decamps from Democratic Party, joins Qualcomm billionaire Jacobs' nonprofit San Diego Government Initiative. Fletcher: "I'm an SD GI; how could I resist an organization named SDGI? But seriously; …

"We realized that we had one of the world's greatest predators on our hands, and we weren't playing to its strengths. We also were ignoring the bloodlust that is near to the heart of every American. No more."

"Right now," said San Diego Po-Po Super-Chief William "Hands Down" Lansdowne at the cruiser's inaugural pump-n-bump, "there is a stigma associated with police cruisers. Hoodlums feel self-conscious about being taken downtown in such spec machines." …

City Council Passes Ruling Mandating That San Diego Transplants Who Claim to "Miss the Seasons" Be Forced to Paint Local Fall Foliage in 40-Degree Weather While Wearing Only a Bathing Suit PUTTING ON A SWEATER, …

In 21 Grams, Benicio del Toro played Jack Jordan, a tortured soul who killed another man and sought to commit suicide. Alfredo Pimienta allegedly killed his two daughters and committed suicide. On Sons of Anarchy, …

TAKING A LONG WALK OFF A SHORT PIER, POINT LOMA — It wasn’t supposed to go down like this. When San Diego’s High Tech High International was named as one of six candidates nationwide to …

A LITTLE OLD-SCHOOL GLAMOUR “What does he do, this man you seek?…He covets…And how do we begin to covet, Clarice?…We begin by coveting what we see every day.” — Dr. Hannibal Lecter, The Silence of …