Hey, Matt: So what’s with the funky lighting along the new 5/805 merge? They have cute red-and-white beanies, antennas, and really cool monkey trapezes. I’ve only seen this style of lights in one other place …

Hi, Matt Alice: I cleaned my silver necklace’s cross using a name-brand silver cleaner, but my wife says I am a stupid, ignorant, ugly male idiot because silver, as she briefs me from watching antique …

They say that people are attracted to one another because of pheromones that we can smell. What would happen if you took pheromones from a woman that I’m attracted to and applied them to a …

Matt: I drink a lot of water and Gatorade and stuff like that. My friend tells me I can die if I drink too much water. How is this possible? I thought water was good …

Hey, Matt: Some time ago I was checking out San Diego on Google Earth. On Coronado Island, at what I am told is the Special Forces training facility, there exists a large building that has …

Hey, Matt: Last year at the Del Mar Fair, my wife and I came across a booth where the company was selling some kind of a detox/purification product. You put your tootsies in a foot …

Hey, Matt: Is it true that there used to be half pennies? If so, who was the president on that coin? — Jay, via email Yeah, I guess a half penny seems sorta useless in …

Dear Matthew Alice: Are bees suicidal? I swim in an outdoor pool, and practically every time there is a poor bee straining to stay afloat. I offer it a lifesaver (a twig or a leaf) …

Dear Matthew Alice: Can my dog understand me when I talk to him? I can tell him to sit down and to lie down and he does it, so he understands me when I say …

Heymatt: Traveling down the freeway of life, the latest wrinkle on the road are sand and gravel trucks with a sign claiming, “Not responsible for damage to windshields.” Huh? Did the truckers’ lobby manage to …

Heymatt: What would happen if I owned some cows and I milked them every day for a while and then I stopped milking one of them? Would that cow explode or what? — Bearman, via …

Matt: Why do humans produce so much sperm if only one will fertilize an egg? And why are they in competition with each other? It would seem simpler to have fewer with less competition. — …

Heymatt: The other day I tried pulling out my thumbnail. I just yanked on it for a while but nothing happened. Nails don’t look like the stuff around them. Are they just stuck into our …

Hey, Matt:My cat is obsessed with water. He’s an ex-stray I found shivering in the rain a year ago, and he’s been a housecat ever since. I turn on any tap — kitchen, bathroom — …

Matthew: My dog, a sweet, goofy retriever, can always tell when my husband is coming home. He heads for the garage door every night about five minutes before I hear his car. I know lots …

Hey, Matt: My friend read in a book somewhere that people are taller in the morning than they are at night. Is that possible? The book didn’t say why. Do you know why if it’s …

Dear Matt: Why does my fish blow bubbles? Sometimes it will just be hanging out and all of a sudden it will cut loose with a bubble from its mouth. How does air get in …

Dear Matthew Alice: While I was waiting for the Tylenol to kick in and stop my headache, I decided to read the ingredient list on the bottle. Active ingredients: Acetaminophen. Inactive ingredients: carnauba wax, cellulose, …

Mattster: Say somebody has a liver transplant and then they die a while later in an accident. Can they take out the transplanted liver and give it to someone else? What would happen if somebody …

Hey, Matt: Last year I moved to Point Loma. I grew up in San Diego but never really hung out too much by the bay. My question is, what’s up with the Harbor Police? I …

Matt: I strolled into the kitchen yesterday and noticed that there was a fly perched on the edge of my counter, right next to the sink. I figured as I got closer to it, it …

Hey, Matt: I was using one of those hand sanitizers the other day and noticed on the bottle: “kills 99.9% of all germs.” What about the .1% that they don’t kill? Let’s say there are …

Matt: I can’t figure this out. Maybe you can. When I’m at work, mostly, I seem to always be rubbing my face and eyes. I rub them pretty hard, which really messes up my makeup. …

Hey, Matt! Last night I was reading Silence of the Lambs, and it got me wondering. When humans are cooked up, are they more like beef or pork? Not that I ever plan on finding …

Heymatt: If I replaced the fluorescent bulbs five feet above my head at work with bulbs from a tanning bed, would I give myself a nice year-round tan or a bad case of cancer? — …

Dear Matthew Alice: What would happen if lightning hit railroad tracks? Would everybody on the train be electrocuted if lightning hit the cars? — William, via email Where do you people get these questions? We …

Dear Matt: They’re already starting to advertise for old people to get flu shots this year. It’s starting to piss me off. I don’t get the flu in the winter, I have about five colds. …

Heymatt: Sometimes I don’t sleep for a couple of days. I have a friend who told me that I could die from lack of sleep. I can’t believe that, but this friend is always throwing …

Heymatt: We took the kids to the aquarium, and that got me to thinking about what eats what in the marine environment. Little fishes are pretty much lunch for bigger fish, but they also have …

Mr. Alice, Sir: I’ve never seen you or anybody else for that matter take on this situation. Maybe the answer is too obvious, but I don’t understand how. I like frequenting upscale bars and mingling …

Heymatt: I see that Horton Plaza has a section of parking for pregnant women. As a male, if I park there, will the cops (or mall cops) treat this the same way they would if …

Hey, Matt: Ever see big jets flying overhead, the ones leaving a white smoke trail? They fly right over our houses daily. Whee! Say, listen…I have a certain keen ol’ hand-held walkie-talkie, good for hiking, …

Matthew Alice: I’ve been contemplating Doris, my cat, and trying to imagine who first got the idea to try to capture and tame a wild lion or tiger or whatever into a domestic friend. I’m …

Hi, Mr. Matt: I can’t find anyone that knows the derivation of the name for the Formosa Slough in Point Loma. — Phil Crepeau, via email Ooh, twice wrong, Phil. First of all, you can …

Heymatt: Why is not wearing underwear called “going commando” style? I would think a commando would appreciate the support and reduction of chafing that briefs provide. — Chafing at the Bit in RB The elves …

Matt: Why is a pineapple called a pineapple? — Nameless, via email In the Middle Ages, Europeans called pretty much all fruit and fruitlike things “apples.” The “fruit” of the pine tree (the pine cone) …

Heymatt: My home-office chair is missing its back, and I nearly fell out of it this morning, giving me the “butterflies.” While the vision of a tiny jar full of butterflies fluttered through my head, …

Heymatt: I’ve always wondered about shrunken heads. How do they shrink the skull? That’s bone, and I can’t figure out how anybody could shrink bone. I’m not planning to do any shrinking myself. I’m just …

Hey, Matt: Are you skinny or fat? And if you’re fat, are you on a diet? Everybody I know is on a diet. And some of them aren’t even fat. Who was the first person …

Heymatt: This is a question about the most useful stuff in the world: duct tape. I used to call it duck tape until some friends laughed at me and said no, it’s duct tape. With …

Heymatt: I have read many a time that albatross spend most of their lives out over the ocean and never come ashore. Well, I guess they have to come ashore to lay their eggs. If …

Matt: When a hen lays an egg, which end comes out first? Settle our bet. — Fat End and Pointed End, via email Ever seen a pregnant hen? There’s an even better question. With hens …

Hey, Matthew: Before I have collagen injections in my lips, I have to know where they get the collagen. Is it human? Does it come from some animal? — Lip Sink, via email Cow lips. …

Heymatt: How far inland can seagulls be found? Are they looking for quieter digs, or are they just lost out there? — Charlie Bingbang, inland Hey, Matt: I’ve been feeding a motley group of pigeons …

Dear Matt: When I was a little girl, my mother always cut my hair in bangs, straight across my forehead. I was looking at some old pictures lately and suddenly wondered why that hairstyle is …

Matthew Alice: In school we were talking about how the earth spins around like a top. The teacher said that is what makes days and nights when we can’t see the sun anymore. But my …

Heymatt: My friend drinks Red Bull and vodka. He says he doesn’t get drunk that way. How does that happen?— Norma, via email Well, it doesn’t happen. He just thinks it happens. Energy drinks don’t …

Matt: How many Kenyans were involved in the slave trade? Did this include Obama’s Kenyan grandfather?— Irv J., via email Yikes! The political debate takes a new and nasty turn. Well, at least it’s our …

Matt: We are all familiar with the two major forms of mozzarella cheese, the larger amorphous blob we grate and use on pizza and the finger-sized string cheese portions we play with as we eat …

Heymatt:When I watch all my crime shows on TV, I’ve always wondered about lineups. There’s a bunch of five or six guys in a row and one of them is the suspect, and the victim …