Here we are again, kiddies. You’ve screwed away another 12 months making lists of things that never got done, watching twisted talk shows, and reading “Straight from the Hip” hoping Rikki Lake and I can …

Dear Matthew Alice: Recently, as I lay sipping fine champagne and playing snugglebunnies with my latest female conquest, my visions of carnal delights-to-be were constantly interrupted by one niggling query: Why do champagne bubbles appear …

Matt: For such a hip state, how did California get such a dorky flag? Why is the bear staring at the star? What is he thinking? What is that red thing at the bottom? How …

Dear Matthew Alice: Is there such a thing as human pheromones? Some perfume company is selling something they claim makes men and women irresistible to each other because it mimics the human natural attractant chemicals. …

M. Alice: Is there any relationship between our local village of Nestor (east of I. Beach) and Nestorianism, the early Christian heresy? — Jim Edwards, Coronado Nestor a nest of Nestorians? Not likely. There once …

Hey, Matthew: What is it in raw spinach that makes your teeth feel gritty and funny? — Downtown Abe Think spinach makes your teeth feel weird — dig into a dish of rhubarb, friend. Both …

Dear Mr. Alice: Why is it that so many people bite their nails? — Michelle, San Diego It’s been studied scientifically, so there are a few reliable things to say about onychophagia. Unfortunately, “why” is …

Dear Matthew Alice: The question I’ve always been meaning to ask: Why are flannel sheets warmer than cotton sheets? They aren’t just thicker and keep you warmer eventually, they feel warmer to the touch at …

Dear Matthew Alice: The recent election has raised a question in my mind. The Registrar of Voters is letting people vote early at her office, and we've always been able to file absentee ballots. What …

Dear Matthew: I was in Princeton last week suffering the stings of East Coast intellectualism. I succumbed to bragging about San Diego’s own Matthew Alice. My Princetonian responded with a challenge. “Have this maven of …

Dear Sir: A while ago I read an article that mentioned the Flat Earth Society. Does it still exist? Did it ever really exist, or is it just a name made up to epitomize stupidity? …

Dear Matthew Alice: I just borrowed another 20 bucks from my dad. The 20 in question has red dye along one edge. Was it involved in a bank robbery—you know, exploding dye packs and all? …

Dear Matthew: My favorite candy is chocolate-covered cherries. But I can't figure out how they make them. Do they cover the cherry with chocolate and then squirt the juice in somehow? Do they make the …

Matthew Alice: I found this newspaper stuck under my windshield wiper. I went to the supermarket to verify some of the allegations made. Indeed, I did find the “K” and the “U" symbols on many …

Dear Matthew Alice: A couple of weeks ago, I bowed under pressure at the supermarket and bought my three-year-old daughter one of those helium-filled Mylar balloons. Now as I write, I’m staring at this thing …

Dear Matthew Alice: We have been taking a survey among our male relatives, friends, lovers, and boss and have been unable to ascertain why men’s briefs are made with that crazy “tunnel” sewn into the …

Dear Matt: My friend and I were having a discussion about life in general, and we decided that we need to know why there is any stuff in the universe. Why is there anything instead …

Dear Matthew: On vacation recently, I saw a machine that for 50 cents squashed a penny into a thin copper disk with a picture of the Golden Gate Bridge on it. I remember my dad …

Dear Matthew Alice: My in-laws recently came to visit from Ireland. When my mum made the remark, “That’s a Yank for you!” I said something derogatory regarding Micks. Where did we assume the name Yankee …

Dear Matthew Alice: Where did the expression “mad as a hatter” come from? What’s a hatter, and why is a hatter so pissed off? — Don’t Get It, San Diego You sure don’t, Don’t. The …

Dear Matthew Alice: We know that the hatred of women is “misogyny,” but what is the word for the hatred of men? — Lovers of All, San Diego An interesting commentary, I’d say, when we …

Dear Matthew Alice: The other day I was walking across the street when this guy in his little yuppiemobile practically kneecapped me as he drove by. I gave him my best glare, and he yelled …

Dear Matthew Alice: On the editorial page of the San Diego Union-Tribune, the paper lists the names of its publishers, past and present. However, between John D. Spreckels (publisher, 1890-1926) and Col. Ira Copley (publisher, …

Dear Matthew Alice: When coinage was made of gold or silver, unscrupulous individuals used to “clip" or “shave” off small amounts, pass the coin as legal currency, then sell the accumulated shavings for a profit. …

Dear Matthew Alice: I’ve checked the library; I have asked experts, but I can't find the answer anywhere. So as a last resort, I seek the wisdom of Matthew Alice. At what point in history …

Dear Matthew Alice: Why do soft things, such as bread, get hard when they get stale and hard things, such as crunchy cookies or cereal, get soft when they get stale? Will they both eventually …

Dear Matthew Alice: I've read in James Michener’s book Iberia that the real source of our fine city’s name comes from a dead friar who wouldn’t decompose and who was granted sainthood. I’ve been to …

Dear Matthew Alice: For two summers, mourning doves attempted to nest in our backyard. In both instances, a nest was built, eggs laid, and our family took care not to disturb the incubation process. To …

You recently mentioned a cockroach insecticide called “Chinese chalk.” However, you didn’t mention what was in it that makes it so toxic that it was banned. I have used this stuff and it works great. …

Dear Matthew Alice: This has been bugging me ever since I started stirring hot beverages with a spoon, especially coffee. When I add sugar to my hot coffee and begin stirring it, my spoon taps …

Dear Mr. Alice: I’ve sailed the Straits often enough to know most of the snags and shallows. I also spent some time in La Casa de Contratacion de Sevilla poring through Columbus reliquiae to gain …

Dear Matthew Alice: A question and a puzzlement: What does the D in D-Day stand for? Why is the eggplant called an eggplant when it has neither the shape nor the color of any egg …

Hey, Matt: Recently I landed at Lindbergh Field and noticed a sign on some building near the runway that read, “It must be FODfree." Huh? What’s FOD? What’s “it”? — Jim, downtown Sugar free. Salt …

Dear Matthew Alice: A friend and I recently got into a conversation about the details of how a sailor or anyone else who dies at sea is “buried. " We remember war movies where a …

Dear Matthew Alice: Okay, I was a little lazy this morning when I woke up and hit the snooze bar on my alarm. Nine minutes later, the alarm went off again. Some of my friends …

When I take aspirin for a headache, how does the pill know that it’s my head that hurts and that it should go there and not to my foot? — Melissa, El Cajon Dear Matthew …

Dear Matthew Alice: A few weeks back I wandered over to the cliffs by the Toney Pines Glider Port to watch the sun set over the ocean. Just as the upper edge of the sun …

Dear Matthew Alice: I sure hope you can help me in my quest. For quite a while now I’ve been trying to come up with the name of a fictional character from about 13 to …

Dear Matthew Alice: Please help! Roaches are everywhere. I have used everything to try to get rid of them in my house, but nothing works. I remember about two years ago you mentioned something about …

Dear Matt: Ever since childhood. I’ve been taught to turn on the water faucet when having difficulty beginning urination. It always works, but nobody can tell me why. You're my last hope. Matt. — Ryan …

Dear Matthew Alice: The term “morning sickness” seems a misnomer in my wife’s case. During her pregnancy she was in terrible misery 24 hours a day for months, despite her careful efforts in following medical …

Dear Man hew Alice: What is the origin of the tall, puffy hat traditionally worn by chefs? We expect it has some mysterious purpose since a simple hair net would adequately protect hair from falling …

Dear Matthew Alice: How did Jeopardy! get its name? What does it have to do with the game and how it's played? Besides the obvious jeopardy of not winning and having to take home a …

Dear Matthew Alice: When and why did croutons suddenly go giant size? They used to get moist from the salad dressing and blend right in. These "gourmet” monsters are so big you forget you're eating …

My wife and I have noticed that several houses in our neighborhood have two or three jars of water on their front lawns. The jars are sealed with clear, colorless water in them. They aren't …

Dear Answer Man: My question has to do with earthquakes that seem to occur around five or six or seven in the morning. An equal tug upon the earth’s crust, as with the tides, could …

Dear Matt: I’ve got a question (obviously). I’m approaching 40, and I’ve noticed something unusual. While I’ve no gray or white hair on my head, I DO have two, yes TWO white pubic hairs. Why? …

Dear Matthew Alice: In Rex Reed's People Are Crazy Here, in the chapter on Alfred Hitchcock, he writes, “His favorite people in history are Lizzie Borden, Jack the Ripper, and a man who murdered his …

Dear Matthew Alice: As usual, my hubby tells me some off-the-wall things, most of which I can’t find out for sure at the local library. In this one, he said that in Cheyenne, Wyoming, the …

Dear Sefior Matthew: Why do jalapeno peppers taste hot? At least we call it "hot.” But since even room-temperature peppers scald your tongue, they're not really “hot,” so what is “hot," anyway? — Robert C., …