Matthew Alice: How do you go about changing the observed date of a holiday? My friends and I feel that Halloween should be observed on the last Saturday in October. That way children could go …

Matmail: Okay, now don 't give me any trouble about this. I kiss my cat. Not on the mouth (yuck!), on the head. She's a very loving affectionate cat. Bumps heads (the cat way of …

Matmail: I have heard that we humans only use 10 percent of our brains and that Einstein used 11 percent. Is this true, and where do they come up with these numbers? What would they …

Matt: Where did Certs get its name? — Rip Van Laer, P.B. I hope you’re grateful, Rip. Who else would take this question seriously? Warner-Lambert was pretty dumbfounded that we were wasting their time with …

Matmail: Exactly how big is Rosie O'Donnell's head? Why do the hairstylists on her boring show give her an even bigger head with their “big hair" stylin'? If you have been stumped, I'd settle for …

Matthew: What lunatic designed the mortarboard, and why are people still wearing them in the 20th Century? — Gary in La Mesa We don’t have the lunatic’s name, but he sort of ripped off the …

Dear Matthew Alice: From a perceptual point of view, the trip home from a destination always seems shorter. Anything to it? — Sugar Van Tassel, San Diego Definitely. Scientists have studied this phenomenon, and their …

Dear Matthew Alice: Why is it that when you dine in at a restaurant, the waiter leaves you with what is referred to as a check? Why is it not called a bill, since it's …

Matt: If you can avoid the obvious wise-guy answer, can you tell me how drugs got to be called “dope”? — No Dope, La Jolla We sure know our dope: early America, the Dutch word …

Matt Alice: I'm totally confused over this whole Escherichia coli ordeal I learned in microbiology that E. coli exists in our intestines. What's up with E coli 0157:H7? Where did it come from? How does …

I have a new set of instructions from the research elves, communicated to me through a spokeself, who apparently lost a round of one-potato, two-potato. I have to warn them when there’s a word-origin question …

Mr. Mat Man: As I prepared to cross the international date line, an interesting question presented itself. What happens to the 24 hours I lost when I crossed it? The easy answer is that I …

Mr. Matt: Once and for all, what's up with the Army Corps of Engineers? Are they part of the U.S. Army? Do they fight in wars? — Roger, San Diego Hey, Rog, who do you …

God of Answers, Knower of All Things: I have owned several pet mice over the years, and year after year, mouse after mouse, they all engage in one behavior besides the usual poop-eat-sleep cycle. When …

Dear Mr. Know It All: What is that uvula hanging in the back of my throat for? What recourse do I have if I get tired of it? —Phil Harris, San Diego This one’s at …

Matmail: Driving north on 805 one day, I noticed a whole mess of pigeons amping out on the Clairemont Mesa exit sign. There were none on the sign before it or after it Now this …

[Too frantic to write a salutation]: Don’t even ask how this came up. But it’s urgent! I MUST know the answer! When you open a Band-Aid in the dark, why does the glue on the …

Mattster: My parrot loves hot peppers. He (she, maybe) can't get enough and doesn’t screech or sweat as he chows down on them or even when he poops. Why do parrots seem to be unaffected …

Matthew Alice: When did we start calling World War I "World War I”? Not during World War I, I assume. —A. Brooking, just passing through Well, maybe Nostradamus had a clue, but the rest of …

Dear Answer Boy: What makes cancer invade certain parts of the body and not others? Is there something unique about the tissue of the breast, prostate, stomach, rectum, or liver? I guess what I need …

Dear Almighty Matt: I’ve heard a rumor that Yellow Dye #5, which is an ingredient in Mountain Dew, causes your penis to shrink. Is this true? And I've heard that the clothing designer Tommy Hilfiger …

Dear Matthew: ln July 1969, some dudes walked on the moon. My mom told me that there were indeed stars in 1969. But in each of the pictures that I've seen of the moon landing, …

Time to grapple with the mail that drops into our “Say What?” bin. The “Matthew, You Fraud” stuff. The most immediately eye grabbing is an extended e from one Alex Censor, edited here because, well, …

Hey, Matt: If I was planning the heist of the century, what is the most expensive thing I could fit in my trunk? —Joe, via electromail Well, if you have no imagination, I guess you …

Matthew: Ash Street, Beech Street, Cedar Street...Hawthorn, Ivy, Kalmia, Laurel... Uh, wait a minute. Kalmia? Redwood, Spruce, Thom, Upas.... Upas? Does a kalmia grow on Kalmia or a upas on Upas? — Tree Hugger, Uptown …

Matmail: Why does charcoal burn? Isn’t it already burned? Or is it only mostly burned? What gives? — Bryan Coon, San Diego Charcoal is simply carefully cooked wood. Mankind figured out this one many centuries …

Dear Matt: I apologize if you’ve already been asked this question. Then again, who cares. You get paid for this. What a life. Anyway, a few of my associates and I were wondering why the …

Dear All-Knowing One: Why is it that you sometimes see urinals filled with ice in public restrooms? Is the ice just dumped there to get rid of it, or does it serve a purpose? — …

Dear Mr. Alice:As some friends and I were kicking back one day listening to the Beatles and reading the lyrics that came with the album, we were wondering, what was the first music artist to …

Dear Matthew Alice: How many facts of life are there, and what are they? — Wondering, La Jolla There are three facts of life: There will always be death; there will always be taxes; there …

Dear Almighty Matt: Okay, here’s the deal. I, like many of my fellow Americans, have a strange fascination with beer. I mean, what’s better than beer? Not much. Well, the other night I was once …

Matt: I’ve, always wondered why car tires need tread patterns in them. Why is a tire better if you cut designs into them than if they Were just plain? And why are there so many …

Hey, Matt: Why doesn’t the temperature scale have freezing at zero and boiling at 100? Why 32 and 212? —Buddy Borgen, L.A. Move to Europe, Buddy. Or Canada. Or Mexico. Or almost any place except …

Matthew Alice: I found an owl feather and stuck it in my hatband, and some lady insisted that it was illegal for me to do that. How can that be? — Richard, Escondido I don’t …

Dear Matt, Purveyor of Knowledge, Great and Infinitesimal: While perusing my 1997 tide calendar and looking ahead to the tide fluctuations in the coming months, I noticed in October that there re two new moons …

Matmail: All right, this has bugged me for years. Hamburgers. There's no ham in them! In fact, these days there is little meat of any kind in them. How did they get named? Is it …

Matthew Alice: Can a Siamese twin get their connected sibling drunk? — mattyj, the Net Got to say I’ve never considered that dilemma. One twin a teetotaler, one a lush. One out carousing all night, …

Dear Matt: I just love that dangerously delicious snack food the Hostess Twinkie!! Those beautiful little gold bars of yellow sponge cake and that cloudlike white filling can make me dance with joy! During a …

Dear Matthew Alice: Why do I keep getting subscription cards in all the magazines I already subscribe to? Isn’t this a tremendous waste of paper and trees? If I am a subscriber, why would I …

M: While sipping on a cocktail, my Uncle Crazy was babbling scores of unproven facts when out came the claim that our best friend, the dog, has a sense of smell 200,000 times better than …

Dear Matt: Several years ago, I heard San Diego’s zoo was using an ingenious, environmentally sensitive spray developed originally to minimize desiccation of cuttings, called PolyTrap. Based on bubble gum’s chief ingredient, it would effectively …

Matt: If I'm digging in my back yard and I come across a human skull, do I have to report this to anyone, or can I keep it? Does it matter how deep I find …

Matt: Lately I’ve been throwing out the phrase “Jimmy crack corn, and I don’t care” while amongst friends for humorous/irritating effect. I’ve just realized, however, that I’ve no idea where this phrase came from (an …

Matmail: Is there an Acme Corporation? Why does Wile E. Coyote buy from them and only them? Is it because they are an American company? — R. Runner, @ibus.com I always figured Wile E. must …

Mattmeister: I spent part of my weekend kicking back and staring at a spider spinning a gigantic web. Pretty entertaining. Later I tried to knock the web down and it stuck to my hand. If …

Dear Matty-Matt Guru Man: Us constantly curious Norwegians would like to know what the God-given name for the little plastic thingy on the end of your shoelace is. The entire Tolo clan is anxiously waiting. …

Hey, Answer Stud: Something that really ticks me off is the tax policy on restaurant fast-food locations. At some locations I will take food to go and notice that I am not taxed. Others, I …

Greetings, Matt: We’ve got a few questions about tobacco. How do they “flavour” pipe tobacco — you know, to make it smell like cherries? Also, what about menthol cigarettes. Is that minty zing in the …

Dear Matt: What the hell does Bob Dylan have in his right hand on the cover of the Highway 61 Revisited album? I’ve been trying to figure it out for a couple of years already. …

Dear Matthew: I have some plain whitepaper, and it says right on the box that it's “20-pound bond.” The package of paper does not weigh 20 pounds, so what does that label mean? — Milene, …