Dear Mr. Alice: Top of the Mulligan t'ye! Can ye be tellin' me what be an Irish pearl? I am the missus of the leprechaun who hoards that legendary pot o' gold at the rainbow's …
March 25, 1999
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Stories by Matthew Alice
What is an Irish pearl?
Why do fingernails grow faster than toenails?
Matthew: Why does my fingernail grow faster than my toenail? I smashed one of each at the lumber yard last August, and the fingernail's grown back but the toenail hasn't. -- Bob, telephonically The science …
March 25, 1999
Why are there so many Jacks in fairly tales?
Dear Know-It-All: Why are there so many Jacks in fairy tales (Jack Be Nimble, Jack & Jill, Jack and the Beanstalk, Jack Sprat, etc.). -- Not Jack, the net Hey, Joe/Bud/Mac/Bubba/John Doe. See? Lotsa general, …
March 25, 1999
What is the product being advertised on the building at 800 W. Ivy?
Matmail: I have passed a building near the corner of India and Ivy for years that has this painting on the wall and have wondered forever what happened to this product. -- Bob, downtown The …
March 11, 1999
Do fish fart?
Dear Matthew Alice: Do fish fart? -- Ian Lewis, age 7, San Diego A mighty fine question, and one that could only have come from a 7-year-old. A kid will imagine what might be and …
March 11, 1999
Can you make fire with ice?
Matt: Here's a question that might give you fits. Can you make fire with ice? (Good luck.) -- Doubtful Tim, Shelter Island We suited up half the elves in parkas, half in flame-retardant pajamas and …
March 11, 1999
What is that structure next to Mercy/Scripps Hospital in Hillcrest?
To: Matthew Alice: Every time I drive down Sixth Avenue to 163 north, I see a strange pinkish building on my left on the grounds of Mercy Hospital. It's strange because the highest five or …
March 4, 1999
Why did my cup explode when instant coffee was added?
Your Mattness: The other day I was reduced to making myself a cup of (ugh!) instant coffee. I put a cup of water in the microwave, zapped it for a couple of minutes, took it …
March 4, 1999
Where do some of the expressions in our language come from?
Matmail: What and where is a corner of the earth? Why are there always four? Why not eight, as in a cube? Or more? Can you elaborate on the source and reasoning of this anomaly? …
February 25, 1999
Why do cats leap to their feet and go tearing around the house?
Dear Matt: Why does my usually docile cat suddenly leap to her feet and go tearing around the house? Is she hallucinating? It's weird. -- Marko, El Cajon In kitty's mind, she's probably being chased …
February 25, 1999
Why doesn't our stomach digest itself?
Matt: In my ponderings, accompanied by snacks, I've often wondered why our stomachs can digest everything from cake to goat meat, but it doesn't digest itself. How come? -- Eating and Wondering, San Marcos Matmail: …
February 18, 1999
Is Paul from The Wonder Years really Marilyn Manson?
Greetings: Could it be true that the sweet geek Paul from The Wonder Years is now the ever-disturbing Marilyn Manson? We heard this nasty rumor. Could your li'l elves investigate this for us? -- Paul's …
February 18, 1999
Is it legal not to mention the "fine print?"
To: [email protected] Subject: gyms I recently terminated my membership at the [name omitted] gym and was outraged that they are charging me for two months of fees beyond my cancellation date. They say they are …
February 4, 1999
Can you be arrested for shooting/killing an alien (ET)?
Señor Mattolio: Some questions people ask you are pretty weird. I have one that you'll probably think is weird, but I think it could happen, because people from other planets or from somewhere in space …
January 28, 1999
Can birds smell?
Matt: I was contemplating my parakeet the other morning when my wife was cooking something very aromatic, and it occurred to me -- can birds smell? I've never seen Woody sniff his dish of seeds …
January 28, 1999
Does the volcano in Pahoa, Hawaii have an effect on electronics?
Matthew: I was on vacation in Pahoa, on the island of Hawaii, recently, and I had trouble with my camera. Sometimes the autofocus wouldn't work, or the shutter. A resident of the town told me …
January 21, 1999
When you sneeze, how long can germs live outside the body?
Dear Matthew: Of course, I don't have any germs (and if I did, they'd be good for people), but when one of those people sneezes, exactly how long do their germs live outside their bodies, …
January 21, 1999
Are there any permanent physiological side effects from tattoos?
Dear Matthew Alice: I'm reading a mystery novel written in Japan in the 1940s that has a lot of information about tattoos in it. I wanted to check out one quote that seems pretty amazing. …
January 14, 1999
If you build an automobile or submarine, what safety requirements are required?
To My Most Dearest Matt: Let's say that hypothetically I made an automobile. What sort of specifications and safety requirements would I have to meet in order to get it registered in the State of …
January 7, 1999
A year of questions for Matthew Alice.
No whining. You've had a whole year to prepare. If you broke up into study groups as I suggested, you should have no trouble. If not, consider adding this to your New Year's resolution list, …
December 23, 1998
What is the "glow stick" liquid made of, and is it toxic?
Dear Mr. Alice: I recently attended a white-trash theme party which featured a real live stripper who, as part of her act, opened up glow sticks (the kind kids get at Halloween) and poured the …
December 10, 1998
Where on earth do you buy Mallomars
Matmail: Mallomars? Where on earth do you buy Mallomars? The last box I saw, I bought; and that was at the Big Bear supermarket on Governor Drive in University City in 1981. I will drive …
December 3, 1998
Where did Spanish fly get its name, and where did it come from?
Dear Matthew Alice: I would like to know how Spanish fly got its name and where it came from. Does Spanish fly work, or is it just one of those things everyone says works but …
December 3, 1998
What are the effect of breathing in argon?
Dear Matt: Most of us have heard the effects of breathing helium on speech-- sort of Billy Barty on speed. The explanation is that helium, being a light gas, allows more rapid vocal cord vibrations, …
December 3, 1998
Does salt content affect how fast a surfer can surf?
Dear M.A.: Tropical waves are "faster," allowing for smaller, thinner boards and more fun. Up north it's like surfing with the emergency brake stuck on. It's the salt. The spray from northern waves often smells …
November 29, 1998
During World War II, were Germans rounded up by Ecuadorian governments and sent to concentration camps in Texas?
Matmail: On vacation in Ecuador, I met an 80-year-old man who claims that during World War II, he and his German parents were rounded up by the Ecuadorian government at the request of the U.S. …
November 29, 1998
How are objects reflected in a mirror, and how do our eyes focus on the object?
Mat: Here is one that has always bugged me. It seems logical that when I look at something in a mirror, the critical distance my eyes should have to focus is between me and the …
November 25, 1998
Why are there so many abandoned homes along the beach of Baja?
Dear Matt: We've been driving around in Baja lately and wondered how come there are so many empty shell houses, most of them with no roofs, some with rebar sticking out the top of the …
November 19, 1998
Why do people take the second or third copy off a pile of Readers?
Dear Mr. Answerer-of-All-That's-Weird: Why do people take the second or third copy off a pile of Readers? -- Crazy Cats of Clairemont I thought everybody knew. That's where all the good stuff is. The top …
November 19, 1998
How are products able to get away with a label that says 99.9% fat free when there is more than .1% fat?
To: [email protected]: There are lots of packaged foods out there with a big splash on the front saying "99% FAT FREE." On the back it says, for example, total fat 1 gram, which equals 2% …
November 19, 1998
Why is the color yellow associated with cowardice?
O Matt: Today I was watching Gunsmoke, and one cowboy called another "yellow," alluding to cowardice. Why "yellow"? Is this some sort of dis against Asians, or maybe people with liver disease? -- Jaundiced Joe …
November 19, 1998
Did Houdini contact his wife after he died?
Matthew Alice: Every year...at HALLOWEEN...media reports that the famed magician HOUDINI did not contact his wife AFTER he died. Not true!! This letter is on page 75 of Nothing So Strange -- the biography of …
November 12, 1998
Why are flight attendants required to be able to swim 90 feet?
Dear Matt: Maybe you can help me ease my curiosity and assuage the paranoia that accompanied my thoughts after reading a job vacancy requirement. Recently Alaska Airlines advertised vacancies for the position of flight attendant. …
November 12, 1998
Who named the Emmy, Grammy, Tony, etc.? Who was Hendrix Pond named after?
Dear Matthew Alice: Who is the Emmy named after? And the Tony? The Grammy? Who decreed that all these major awards have to end in y? What about the Pulitzer Prize? When will you be …
November 10, 1998
Are dogs able to see or recognize themselves in photos?
Dear Matt: The other night when my family and I pondered this question I had a "Eureka." I realized only one guy (and a few elves) would be able to sort this one out. Our …
November 5, 1998
Does the President receive a Presidential retirement if impeached?
Question: If Clinton is driven from office by impeachment, does he get a former president's retirement anyway? -- Arlene Burch, the Net Answer: Hell no. No golden parachute if they toss him out of Air …
October 22, 1998
Which movies will end up on HBO, Showtime, etc.
Matman: Is there a way to tell which movies will end up on HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, etc.? Do certain studios like Columbia or Paramount always release their movies to the same cable stations? — Robert, …
October 22, 1998
How did the bare busted statues get in Balboa Park?
Dear Matthew Alice: Am I the only person in Balboa Park who ever looks up? Otherwise, how is it that we have dozens of statues of bare-breasted, buxom ladies overhead and no one ever mentions …
October 22, 1998
Loop through Woods Valley and Valley Center on this bicycle tour out of Escondido.
Resting high above the city of Escondido, Valley Center is well on its way to becoming a rural suburb. As more and more country estates pop up on big lots, the area is gradually losing …
October 22, 1998
Why were Greek urns rounded at the bottom?
Matt: In short: Why are Greek urns rounded at the bottom? It's puzzled me for years. Even a tour guide at the New York Metropolitan Museum of Art couldn't answer this. Greek urns were built …
October 8, 1998
Questions that have haunted me through my adolescence...
Matmail: These questions have haunted me through my adolescence: Where does all the white come from in breaking waves? If hot air rises and cold air sinks, why is it colder at higher altitudes, where …
October 8, 1998
What are the differences between indoor and outdoor spiders?
Matmail: When I see spiders outdoors, they are usually in the middle of a web. Inside my apartment, however, they just stand on my ceiling. Why don't my spiders spin webs indoors? Do they know …
October 1, 1998
How does the government recruit for jury duty?
Dear Matthew Alice: How does the government choose who to recruit for jury duty? These people will not leave me alone! Before they disrupt my life yet again, please tell me (1) how they make …
October 1, 1998
Are there any side effects to burning incense? What is Nag Champa?
Hey, Matt: I burn quite a bit of incense in my apartment, and I'm wondering just what sort of toxic chemicals I am inhaling. Has incense ever been linked to lung cancer or other serious …
September 24, 1998
What and who are the postal police?
Matt: I've been meaning to ask this for a long time. It's bugged me. I remember seeing a car screaming past me on the freeway one day that had wire mesh screen between the front …
September 24, 1998
What causes heartburn, and how do you prevent it?
Mattster: I just ate a sandwich and a handful of pepperonis, and now I'm suffering from a near-crippling case of SDSU cafeteria heartburn. Years ago I was never plagued by this phenomenon. What causes heartburn, …
September 24, 1998
What officially makes a place a town?
Dear Matthew Alice: What officially makes a place a town? When the highway department puts up a sign? When it's on the AAA map? Or when you have a post office? In North County, De …
September 17, 1998
What exactly does the body go through in the electric chair when the juice is turned on?
Dear Matmail, What exactly does the body go through in the electric chair when the juice is turned on? I have heard that the eyes have to be taped to keep them in. Does the …
September 3, 1998
Culp Valley, in the high desert of Anza-Borrego, offers hiking and camping.
While most of the Anza-Borrego Desert swelters, the temperature hovers as much as 10š Fahrenheit cooler at the "high desert" locale of Culp Valley, 3400 feet above sea level. Culp Valley is the only designated …
September 3, 1998
A sunset walk in Coronado, Carlsbad, or Mission Blvd.
Got a hot date with your loved one this weekend? If so, then start the evening with a romantic "sunset walk" by the bay, complete with a full-moon-rise over the twilight-bathed city and its scintillating …
September 3, 1998