Hey Matt: My wife has been blaming our water for her dry skin, split ends, etc., ever since her friend told her that San Diego has "really hard water." What the heck is "hard water"? …

Hey Matt: What makes fancy ketchup so fancy? Can you get plain ketchup? -- Bobby, the net There are officially designated fancy tomatoes, but no fancy ketchup. Fancy ketchup is plain ordinary ketchup in a …

Hey Matt: Why are nearly all automobile tail lights the exact same shade of red? Does it have a name? -- Matt, on 805 southbound Commuter-coma Red. Panic-stop Red. Screeeech! Red. Look Out! Red. Hey, …

Hello Matt: Me and a friend of mine were wondering, what is the strongest muscle in the body? I say the tongue, he says legs or arms??????? -- Christine and Christine's friend, the net Tongue? …

Matthew: When I was learning how to drive many years ago, my dad gave me a tip to help me keep from getting lost: East-west freeways/highways are indicated by even numbers and north-south by odd …

Heymatt: How come I've never heard about the Southern Lights? I've heard of the Northern Lights. -- Jay, In the Dark As usual, you haven't been paying attention. Northern Lights = Aurora Borealis. Southern Lights …

Hey, Matt: I saw in the newspaper there is a car-o-rama for the latest new cars. Where does this o-rama business originate? -- Pat N. Paul, the net Mankind has always been a sucker for …

Heymatt: Does the temperature have any bearing on how much sunburn/sun damage a person receives? If I'm outside on a sunny, cloudless 60 degree day, won't I get as much of a tan as I …

Yo Matt: How come so many Arabic words with a "k" sound are spelled with a "q" instead? Qaddafi, Qatar, Iraq, al-Qaeda, etc. Since these are Anglicized spellings and not Arabic ones, who decides on …

Matt: What is it with those bizarre hairs that sometimes seem to grow overnight on weird places of our body? They just appear as if they were fed Miracle-Gro. They're two or three times longer …

Hey, Matt: What's the story on the bright yellow and orange flowers that always bloom along the freeways right about now? Someone told me that they are a result of truckers scattering flower seeds from …

Matolo: Who determines turf for industrial catering trucks companies? You never see two trucks there from different caterers. How do these folks decide who gets what company to sell to? I envision midnight turf wars�sabotage�caterlords�cement …

Heymatt: Who hijacked the first airplane? Just curious. Not planning anything. -- Nameless, of course Jetjacking is an art we've been perfecting for 74 years. The first recorded incident was in Peru in 1930, when …

Matthew: I'm confused.What's the difference between an earthquake and an aftershock? Sometimes we have an earthquake only to be told it's an aftershock of an earthquake two years ago. How can they tell? -- Shaken, …

Matt: How rare is a four-leafed clover? Is there such a thing in real life? Why is it associated with good luck? -- S.L, P.B. A four-leafed clover is an occasional mutation growing amid the …

Heymatt: Why do we call urination pee and defecation poop? -- Too embarrassed to sign his name Okay, I swear this is the last poop question we'll handle until, well, until we get another one. …

Matt: Sunflowers always face the sun, which means they must turn from east to west every day. So what do they do at night? Do they shift back at sunrise or gradually through the night …

Dear Matthew Alice: To determine if food items have outlived their edibility, expiration dates and pungent odors are probably the two most obvious ways to make a conclusion. Recently I was given a sizable chunk …

Matt: Given the ancient Romans' achievements in the sciences, they must have understood the concept of quantities between zero and one. So how did they notate fractions? I/VII would get cumbersome and wouldn't aid in …

Hey Matt: What happens when one species of spider accidentally falls into the web of another species? -- Black Widower Paul, San Diego Weeeel, depends, according to the staff bug guy at our sister institution, …

Heymatt: I seem to roll around and move a lot when I sleep. Why don't I ever roll right out of bed? -- Bedbug, La Jolla A question we've asked here in Rancho de Alice …

Hey Matt: My friend Ian thinks that ingesting a chunk of human dookie will kill you and that half of dookie content is bacteria. Is this true?! I don�t believe it! -- Snuggles, the net …

Matt: Maybe I'm wrong about this, but it seems that when I'm at the beach on a windy day, I can hear sounds that are being blown toward me, but I can't hear sounds that …

Heymatt: When we cross the border at San Ysidro, my husband always comments on how excited the drug dogs look when they're sniffing all the cars. He thinks it's because the dogs are drug addicts, …

Matthew: What's so practical about a practical joke? Where did the term come from? -- AV, Golden Hill Welcome to another episode of As the Word Turns, the Matthew Alice College of Etymological Knowledge. A …

Heymatt: Were there "switch" pitchers ever in baseball history? -- J, BP Three switch pitchers played in the pre-1900 era, but the only contemporary major leaguer to do it was ex-Padre, officially listed as a …

Matt: I'm building my own house. It's a pain. But it got me to thinking, what is the tallest building in the world, now that the World Trade Center is gone? -- Tool Guy, Ramona …

Dear Mr. Alice: When I walk on the beach, I notice that rocks of the same size seem to be clustered together. All the big ones are together, and all the small ones are with …

Heymatt: Are there any laws about how small "fine print" can be in a contract? Broadly speaing, where there is a legal mandate that a document, label, warning notice, etc. be legible, the standard is …

Dear Matthew: The other day my wife was recounting her childhood story of how she leaped from the garage roof with her self-made parachute. She survived the crash landing but not without getting "the wind …

Heymatt: Where does the term 420 come from? Does it refer to a term used by California state patrol to signal pot smoking in progress? Also the term marijuana-- I know it's a girls name, …

Dear M.A.: What�s the deal with white chocolate? Chocolate gets its brown color from the cocoa bean. Are there white cocoa beans? -- Garret from San Diego but living in Mexico Ya know how places …

Heymatt: Do jumbo jets have keys? If so, has anyone ever lost them and delayed a flight? -- Jay, waiting on the tarmack We have so many other, more annoying ways to delay flights these …

Yo Matt: Why can't I buy music videos? I'd like to own Thriller and some others without waiting to see them on TV. Can you help? -- Lisa, San Diego Lisa, you're just so discouraged …

Matt: Why is Goofy Mickey Mouse's best friend, but Pluto's his dog? Shouldn't Pluto be his best friend, by definition? And Goofy has a son named Max, but they never mention Max's mother. Who is …

Hey there, Matt: Every so often, while walking barefoot on the beach for a sunset stroll, I'll look down to check out the rocks and shells and notice something that makes me put my flip-flops …

Yo, Mattmeister: What is Boxing Day? -- Jeff Foxmore, La Jolla The day we're allowed to punch out someone who's annoyed us most in the past year? Unfortunately, no. It's not even a U.S. celebration, …

Uh, Matt: If my invention is the greatest thing since sliced bread, how long would that be? If you get my drift. -- Curious George, San Diego Not sure I do, George, but why should …

Dear MatAl: Long time listener, first time caller. Me and my cohorts were messing around with the age old mystery of how many times sheet of paper can be folded. We got as high as …

2003 Year-end Quiz The research elves are off making some seasonal pocket money (money to have pockets put in their little tunics). They hire out for Christmas parties, which means Grandma spends most of December …

Mr. M. Alice: One of my co-workers insists the Nike "swoosh" is an ancient, maybe Mesopotamian sign of Satan. He also says the goddess Nike is the daughter of the titan warrior-god Pallas and the …

Dear Matt: What is it that makes waves travel in sets? -- Forever in your debt, Hillcrest Imagine Grandma Alice trying to get the elves ready for a walk. Grandma's barking orders, terrified elves in …

Matt: I bought some organic celery and broccoli and I noticed the produce was covered in bugs, slugs, caterpillars, etc. It was psychologically upsetting, but I don't want to waste food, so can one eat …

Heymatt: I'm a taxi cab driver, and I spend a lot of time driving around, thinking Why, oh why, oh why is there a Ninth Street in Poway -- but no First, Second, Third, etc? …

Dear Matthew Alice: Now that my father has passed away, I "inherited" boxes that filled a basement, attic, and two-car garage (into which my father never put a car.) Amidst the papers, pictures, and assorted …

Matt: My mom gave me a bunch of food that she emptied out of her pantry. One can is labeled potted meat food product. The ingredients are beef tripe, pork stomachs, beef hearts, chicken, partially …

Dear Mr. Alice: We were kicking back one day listening to the Beatles and reading the lyrics that came with the album. We wondered, what was the first music artist to include the words with …

Heymatt: What would happen if you took a bird that migrates south in the winter and put it on a plane and flew it in one day to where it normally migrates to? Would it …

Hey Matt: The other day I popped open the hood on my Mitsubishi Montero gas-guzzling SUV, which I park outside, and found about 6 to 8 somewhat intact snail shells. The shells weren't smashed but …

Mr./Ms. Matthew/Alice: Perhaps you could resolve a lingering dispute between a friend and me. He insists that armadillos cross streams by holding their breath and walking along the bottom until they reach the other side. …