O Great God of Useless Information: On a recent Beavis and Butt-Head Show, our two favorite metalheads are at a tractor pull. One of the tractors goes out of control, knocking over outhouses and releasing …

Matt: In school there was a rumor that Chairman Mao convinced the population of China that everyone should participate in the Great Leap Forward and kill ten flies every day to help rid the country …

Matt: I left some toenail clippings in the sink, and when I got home later, there was a stream of ants trying to carry them off. Usually they go for things like Popsicle sticks and …

Hey Matt: Just wondering, is there any scientific explanation for having déjà vu? -- Julia, the net Hey, Grandma, haven't we answered this question before? Sounds familiar. "No. And I told you no the last …

Hey Matt: You answered a question once about what dimples are. I have dimples I my cheeks, and my fried said they could disappear. I don't think that's possible, but I was honestly wondering. I'm …

Dear Matthew Alice: I've been wondering about the current, regular winner of those eat-as-much-as-you-can contests on Coney Island. He's a skinny Japanese guy. Yet year after year he stuffs away more hotdogs into his gullet. …

Heymatt: Excuse my French, but why the f*** do people say "excuse my French" when they swear? -- DLJ, the net Everything naughty is French, yes? Well, the British think everything naughty is French. French …

Hey: Do goldfish blink? -- Maria, Escondido Now Maria, you haven't been doing that Three Stooges eye-poke at your pet, have you? Tsk-tsk. Fish don�t have eyelids. No eyelids, no blinking. To make up for …

Hey Matt: One day I was daydreaming out the window instead of working, in a high-rise building downtown. I noticed a fly parked on the widow outside. Being as I was on the 33rd floor, …

Hey Matt: I know that a rose by any other name is still a rose, but why are a billion roses in the U.S. 999,000,000 fewer roses than I'd get if I asked for the …

Matt H. Alice: What does the H stand for in the expression "Jesus H. Christ"? -- Curious, San Diego The word origin guys actually take this question seriously and offer serious answers, a little too …

Matt Alice: On the streets that go through the canyons of Mira Mesa and Sorrento Mesa, you'll see yellow caution signs advising of deer. There used to be several herds there before Mira Mesa was …

HeyMatt: If you ever want to outsource, I could answer half of the questions that you publish with no research at all. Why don't you answer one of the true mysteries of our time, namely, …

High, Matt: If I had a garden full of marijuana, I'd get a visit from the cops. My neighbor has a garden full of poppies. Why hasn't anybody raided her house? -- Lawnboy, San Diego …

Hey Matt! Where does the term "Chicano" come from? Is there a country called "Chican"? My family considered it a derogatory name for Americans of Mexican descent, derived in Texas in the aftermath of the …

Heymatt: Doesn't the U.S. government pay the airfare when they deport someone? Let's say a Chinese guy is here illegally, and then one day he decides he'd like to go home. Couldn't he just advise …

Hey, Matt: Why do we sigh? And on an unrelated note, do the toilet seat covers in public restrooms actually do anything? — Amy, sitting and sighing In with the good air; out with the …

Hey: On all my visits to Disneyland, I have never seen an airplane or helicopter fly over the Magic Kingdom. Was Disneyland able to get some kind of ordinance prohibiting aircraft from flying over? Does …

Matt: On a recent road trip I was navigating while my friend drove. At one point, I turned the map upside down, since we were going south and I was having trouble remembering to switch …

Hi, Matt: As a punk rock kid, up to absolutely no good, I used to hang out in the parking lot of Presidio Park and drink cheap beer. Well, in the parking lot across from …

Heymatt: What's up with fingerprints? Why do we have them? Other than using them to catch crooks, what good are they? -- Knight Life, San Diego You should be grateful every time you pick up …

Dear Matthew Alice: When I had my tonsils taken out (a rite of passage in the 1930s), I was served a helping of Jell-O. With the birth of each of five children, the hospital tray …

Heymatt: Why are underwear and pants always referred to as a "pair"? Yes, there are two leg holes or pant legs, but a single shirt has two arm holes or sleeves but is never referred …

Matt: Settle an argument. My friend and I were walking across campus the other day, and I stopped to pick up a penny. My friend thought it was stupid for me to go to all …

Hey Matt!! This has been bothering me for YEARS!! Every night the local news shows the stock market results...let's say on Monday the Dow goes UP 10 points; Tuesday DOWN 50; Wednesday DOWN 150; Thursday …

Dear Matthew Alice: I work in retail and occasionally a customer will give us an Eisenhower or Susan B. Anthony dollar. Other customers usually don't like them given back as change, so we put them …

Hello Matt: My friend Mitchie and I have a disagreement about "vaudeville." Was there actually a town called Vaudeville or did someone just make it up for some illusionary special effect for their circus act? …

Heymatt: Who was the Roman god of cats? -- Maria Sanchez, Escondido Hmmm. Romans believed just about everything was invested with a spirit and therefore worthy of honoring for good luck, if for nothing else. …

Hi, Matt, from Russia! If all mammals' blood is red, at least us and cows, why is pork, veal, and poultry meat white? -- Scott, St. Petersburg, Russia Matt: Is pork really "the other white …

Dear MA: How is it that the abbr. for a pound of weight is lb? None of my English instructors could answer this but I'm confident you can. -- Dave-O, the net That's the attitude …

Hello: If Yao Ming's last name is Ming, why does it say Yao on the back of his jersey? -- J, the net Culture check. Mrs. Ming's baby boy Yao is actually Mrs. Yao's baby …

Hey Matt: Right when we had the jolt from the last earthquake, I actually got a lump in my throat. I know that can happen when one is stressed or scared, but what causes that …

Hello Matthew: How do fish identify with other fish so as to join into a school? They can't know what they look like. -- Bob Kammerer, the net Grade point average? Name tags? Uniforms? Well, …

Matt Alice: My masseuse is pregnant, well endowed, and said her breasts should have extra milk. We wondered if human milk has ever been processed for general consumption. Is there a market for breast milk, …

Hey Matt: I noticed a weird thing the other day while having a pint of Carl Strauss: I could swear some bubbles were actually sinking. Is that possible? What gives? -- Rob, the net Oh, …

Heymatt: What's the story behind Miranda in our Miranda Rights? Where they named after a real woman? If so, was she a quiet woman? And who is the Murphy of Murphy's Law? Did anything ever …

Matthew, my friend: Why do I have to turn down the volume on the car radio when I'm doing something like looking for a street address? It's like I can't find what I'm looking for …

Matt: I've noticed a trend in a lot of the newer CDs. At the end, if you keep playing, after a few minutes a "hidden song" comes on, a song not listed on the jacket. …

Heymatt: How come there is so much FM radio interference on the 94 freeway between Lemon Grove and the 805? It sounds like overlapping Mexican stations. -- Nameless, on the road Short answer? The terrain, …

Dear Matt: Why is the English language so jacked up? Why do sometimes we pronounce "i" as "i" and other times as "e"? I'm thinking of starting a language where no "i" can be pronounced …

Matt: Have any Xtreme sports been invented in our own sunny San Diego? If not, a friend of mine has a suggestion for Xtreme Golf with 1000-yard holes. What do you think? -- Phil Mickelson …

MA: What's the longest recorded life span of a dog? -- Mr. B, the net The yap-yapping in the Guinness record book offices must be deafening. But they had to know, when they started keeping …

Matt:> I have tried, unsuccessfully, to get information on the roster of the Home Grown LPs that were issued by KGB. I'm POSITIVE that you and your elves remember these records, but just in case …

MA of Reader: You know how they say that when someone jumps off a high bridge that when they hit the water it is the same as hitting the cement, I guess because of the …

Heymatt: What color is blood that is running through our veins? Why does it look blue under our skin? Why is it red when it comes out and not blue? Answer settles a respectable bet. …

Heymatt: Could you briefly outline the human mother's milk manufacturing process? -- Jerry Dixon, Santee Before pregnancy, breasts are just muscle and fat pads, with the mammary glands (alveolar cells and ducts) just sitting there, …

Hey Matt: How come motorcycles can be as loud as they want, rattling windows and setting off car alarms? If my car was that loud, I couldn't go a block. Is it because all of …

Hey Matt!! At the top of the Coronado bridge are the (in)famous "Need Help?" signs with a phone number for counseling. Why aren't there any phones up there? These signs have been up way before …

Hey Matt: My husband thinks I'm wacko for this. We recently had a ceiling fan installed in our bedroom. I've noticed that, as I lie in bed, staring at the blades spinning round and round …

Hey Matt: I remember as a kid playing with Mexican jumping beans. What ever happened to them? And what made them jump in the first place? -- Speedy Gonzales, the net Matthew Alice: June bugs. …