Earlier this year I got an Evite to a “white-trash party.” I could tell these partiers would be trouble by what was written in the Evite: “We have spoken with the bus drivers and they …
June 18, 2008
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Stories by Josh Board
White Trash Crash
Bikers, a Bust, and Bachata
I tried to fit three events into one day. It almost worked. The first thing I went to was a motorcycle ride for the troops. I heard about it from DJs on Rock 105.3. It …
June 11, 2008
Errant Knaves
I remember going to an Alice in Wonderland party in costume. When my old girlfriend and I saw the crowd in the living room, we thought we were the only ones dressed up. Luckily, there …
June 4, 2008
Grad Bash
A friend of mine was going to a party in Irvine and asked if I wanted to write about it. I told him that Irvine was outside my scope, but I went anyway. When I …
May 28, 2008
Cinco de Mellow
You can never figure out which events will bring out the partiers. A few years ago, there were several “420” parties on 4/20. This year, I didn’t hear about any. But, on Cinco de Mayo, …
May 21, 2008
I Was Speeding, But...
People always talk about fighting traffic tickets in court. But what does it really mean to “win”? It’s not as if you won a trip to Hawaii. It’s not as if the state pays you …
May 21, 2008
Darth Vera
I went up to Fallbrook a while back for a Fallbrook Film Factory event called the Comic and Animation Filmfest. I had met Dean LeCrone at a previous party, and he had made a documentary …
Yer Mom!
Kiss bassist Gene Simmons came to town on April 23. He showed up at six different 7-Elevens to sign autographs and promote a new energy drink called Frank’s. A crowd of almost 100 waited for …
May 14, 2008
We're Not in Kansas Anymore
I usually dress up for theme parties, but when I hit The Wizard of Oz theme party in North Park, I didn’t have anything to wear. I wasn’t about to make myself look like a …
May 7, 2008
Titanic II
I’ve had people tell me that I didn’t give enough details from the James Cameron party I went to in Malibu on April 12. So, I wrote a part II. Hey, he’s done a couple …
April 30, 2008
Wrestling Nicole
Nora, a local singer, told me that Ike Turner’s old band was going to play a party in La Jolla. I showed up that afternoon and met Steph Johnson, another local musician. She was waiting …
April 16, 2008
They'd Think I Had 'Roid Rage
A friend of mine saw a guy walking two dogs downtown. He had the biggest arms she had ever seen. The guy is Paul-Jean Guillaume: Mr. Universe in 1987. The same year, he competed in …
April 16, 2008
Speaking of Drugs
I attended a play Margaret wrote when she was at UCSD a few years back, and when I found out about an event she was organizing at Thomas Jefferson School of Law, I thought I’d …
April 9, 2008
Neighborhood Watch
I attended two parties in one night, though both of them started early in the evening. I hoped the second one would run late. The first was at Brick by Brick. Astra Kelly, a DJ …
Mystery Meat
There were a couple of video-release parties I hit downtown. The first was for a band called Crash Encore. It was a video-premiere party for their song “Stormy Weather” at the Buzz Clothing Warehouse on …
March 26, 2008
Crazy Enough
There’s been a buzz about Grand Ole Party for a while now. The band recently released their first CD, Humanimals. The artwork was done by local artist Kelsey Brookes. The band’s previous EP also featured …
March 19, 2008
Be My Thumper
I was talking to a musician at a club and he said, “Have you ever been to a pole party? I know about one next weekend.” A few things entered my mind: with the primaries …
March 19, 2008
It's Not Really Ink
I walked into Body Marks Tattoo and Piercing on El Cajon Boulevard, a few blocks from the 805 and right next to a strip club. At night, hookers are walking the streets. A perfect setting …
March 12, 2008
Leap Day
I heard from a friend of a friend about a leap-year party in Clairemont. I brought a few of my friends who are in their late 20s. I didn’t think there was much of a …
March 12, 2008
And the Oscar Goes to...
I went to an Oscar party at Sunset Cliffs in O.B. The affair was a potluck, and I stopped at a grocery store to pick up a cake. A few days earlier, when I was …
March 5, 2008
Manson's Minions
The sold-out February 25 Marilyn Manson show at House of Blues had its share of weirdness. A few couples dressed in leather S&M outfits. Many in the crowd dressed like Marilyn Manson, looking like raccoons …
March 5, 2008
Aquaman Honored
When I heard about a party at “Grandma’s,” I didn’t think it would be something that I’d tell my buddies about the next day. Grandma BB’s Hilltop Hideaway is in Oceanside, and the Southern California …
February 27, 2008
Knock Knock
I went to North Park for a Super Bowl party. Getting there an hour before the game started scored me seats in front of the big screen. They had another TV set up in the …
February 20, 2008
Brothel Bash
I got a call about a party in Stockton but thought it was too far to drive. I was tempted, however, when I heard the warehouse was going to be decorated as a brothel. Ken …
February 13, 2008
Painful Pirouette
When football season was in full swing, there was a surprise birthday party for Tony. He had just gotten back from Iraq. It was in Del Cerro, and I arrived after Tony showed up. Tony’s …
February 6, 2008
Turn It Up
I got word that Paul was having a party for the Chargers game. I looked for my Green Bay Packers shirt but couldn’t find it. I settled for wearing a Chargers cap. I brought cupcakes …
January 30, 2008
Urban Pulses
Whenever I hear the name Ian, I think of the singer of Jethro Tull. Or my friend’s grandfather, who knew everything about sports. He was like Rain Man with statistics. If you were talking about …
January 23, 2008
A Few Funny Men
Some friends and I decided to crash the Comedy Palace on Clairemont Mesa Boulevard to check out the comedians. We talked our way into the club and I somehow ended up backstage with a few …
January 16, 2008
Poor Folk
When Rickie Lee Jones played the Belly Up Tavern on January 5, a person in the audience was overheard saying, "Wow, she's fat! She's a bad looking 52." Another guy said, "Chunky's in love," a …
January 16, 2008
San Diego soccer moms are the absolute worst
At the Mira Mesa Recreation Center, playing for my fifth-grade youth basketball team, I watched as my coach threw a chair onto the court in anger. On another occasion, the referee threw my coach out …
January 9, 2008
Binocular Envy
I heard about a jungle-themed party in National City. I put on a pair of khaki shorts and a jungle shirt that my mom gave me years ago. I’d worn it only once before. I …
January 9, 2008
Dr. Robin Hood
One breast implant was punctured three weeks into his practice. Saline shot into the air.
January 2, 2008
Silky Smooth
I went to parties at two different bars. I was told there would be food at the first one — Hamilton's Tavern in South Park. When I got there with my friends, however, the food …
December 27, 2007
Drinko Plinko
When I was a kid my mom complained about Christmas starting earlier each year. It wasn't because she was Jewish. We had a Christmas tree and a menorah. I think she felt that it was …
December 20, 2007
Spare a smoke?
A couple weeks ago I missed several parties because I was sick. One guy called from Mira Mesa when he noticed his neighbor was having a party. Glad I missed that -- there was a …
December 13, 2007
Just Pakoras
My stepdad was at a meeting and my mom called to ask what I was doing. I told her I was going to crash the reception of an Indian wedding. My mom loves weddings -- …
December 6, 2007
Goatfest 2007
I got word of a party called "Goatfest 2007." As I drove into the P.B. neighborhood, I saw a party being broken up by the police. It wasn't the one I was looking for, though.There …
November 29, 2007
Splendor in the Glass
It was nice to go to two events that were in close proximity. The first was a glass art show in Balboa Park called "Splendor in the Glass." There were a couple of musicians playing …
November 21, 2007
Gypsies, Tramps, and Skis
On Saturday, October 27, there were several more Halloween parties to crash. I planned to hit two or three... The first one I got wind of was in Encinitas. It started early, and as I …
November 15, 2007
Get in My Belly
I got a call about a belly-dance party in Spring Valley. I'm sure my neighbors heard my car tires burn rubber. When I arrived, the place was SRO. I found space in the kitchen with …
October 25, 2007
The $180,000 Fender
"I was pretty shocked that [Tommy Lee] would call me at 10 a.m. on his birthday."
October 18, 2007
Shocking!
On FM94/9 last Thursday, before his Satellite Party show, Perry Farrell said that he doesn't surf anymore because he lost his board. He mentioned that he might surf again if someone gave him a board. …
October 18, 2007
Fantasy Trash Talk
Before football season started, Dan invited me to his fantasy football draft party. I'm in a fantasy league and was curious to see how others ran theirs. I checked out their website -- "Williams World …
October 18, 2007
Cop Breaks Speedo Limit
I got an invite to a party in Santee. I was told there'd be a band called Mudwolf playing in the back yard. I figured, hey, I love Steppenwolf...and Wolfmother. Odds are I'll like this …
Get Out of Here!
When Deep Purple played 4th&B on August 16, I hoped they wouldn't play "Smoke on the Water," which I consider one of the worst songs of all time. How could they not, though? That riff …
October 4, 2007
Bartenders' Ball
I overheard a bartender at the Ould Sod talking about a party at Hotel Solamar downtown. I jotted the date on a napkin, and the following Monday, drove down to crash it. I knew there …
October 4, 2007
Back to School
Continuing on my 20-year Mira Mesa High School reunion... I ran into Sebastian, who was in my kindergarten class. He was with his wife, and as we were chatting about the recent Beatles show LOVE, …