“I worked with a nurse at a school for disabled children that swore by wipes,” says Patti. “They’re a disinfecting, pre-moistened, all-purpose cleaning tool. I will buy wipes forever; they’re a staple in our home. …

The World Cup has the Kelly family in a flag frenzy. The Flags of the World poster is perched by the television. As teams enter the arena and flags are carried horizontally across the field, …

My 14-year-old’s birthday is just around the corner. “He’s too old for toys,” says my husband. “Maybe he just needs bigger toys,” I answer. “Our go-carts run on gas and have a 200 cc, 6.5-horsepower …

Life changed after that jump…. I’d suddenly stepped to the highest level of daring, a level above even that which airplane pilots could attain. — Charles Lindbergh That quote about skydiving caught my eye. Perhaps …

The nose knows. Patrick enjoys the occasional cigar on guys’ night out. Hello, Father’s Day surprise from Eve. “Good cigars are all handmade,” said Cory, sales manager at Liberty Tobacco in Kearny Mesa (858-292-1772; libertytobacco.com; …

The man needs a large Father’s Day gift. He’s been pouring his energy into his work, fixing our bathroom, gardening, playing kickball with the kids, and performing lots of loving acts of service for his …

Beatrice’s daughter wants cornrows. Beatrice doesn’t know how to do cornrows, and at this stage in life, she isn’t up for learning. So, she came to me for info. “I’m African; we don’t ‘learn’ braiding,” …

There’s music floating around our backyard. It comes from a mockingbird perched atop the pecan tree, the phoebe sitting on the sprinkler head, house finches chirping over the bird feeder, and our chickens clucking around …

We’re tightening the financial belt here in Kelly land. We’re not starving, mind you, but unnecessary expenses are being trimmed. Meals out, movies, lattes, golf — all done for the time being. And I’m trying …

“Mom says she doesn’t want flowers for Mother’s Day,” I said to my husband Patrick. “Get her a bouquet she can eat,” he replied. The man is nothing if not consistent. I started with the …

“It’s hot,” complained Patrick. “Ice cream?” I contemplated the calories. “You know,” I said, “if I’m going to indulge, I’m going to indulge. I want something special.” I put in a call to Niederfrank’s Ice …

“I’m noticing more and more dry cleaners using ‘green’ cleaners, or organic cleaners,” says friend Bernice. “Does that mean I need to set aside more money for dry cleaning?” “By 2023,” explains gal-pal Sarah, “the …

“Mommy, my eyes don’t hurt!” My ten-year-old had just finished a three-hour session in a neighbor’s pool and, lo and behold, her eyes were not red, not stinging. “It’s because I have a saltwater pool,” …

Watering is not a Kelly-family strong point. Hundreds of dollars have withered away in the form of neglected plants. The colorful perennials of my East Coast childhood do not flourish in our desert climate. So, …

Spring is here, and my own little chicks have been peeping at me for some real chicken-type chicks come Easter. And you know what? I could use the eggs. Jennifer at Country Feed Store in …

My mother hails from Ireland, and my paternal great-grandparents are also from the old sod. I like to flaunt my pure bloodlines at my hubby, who has a beautiful mix of ancestry: a little Irish …

“Drop your drawers, Patrick,” I called to my husband as I arrived home from grocery shopping. “It says here on this flyer that Dr. Kelly Austin is offering vitamin B12 shots at the La Mesa …

Patrick has ceased sipping port after dinner. Times are tight. So wifey is on a mission to find some tasty bottles that can be purchased for around a Hamilton. Last week, Pat sat down with …

After spending much of the winter sick in bed, it’s time for the Kelly family to take some proactive measures to stay well. Eve can’t take any more time off. The housework piles up, the …

We’ve been driving beaters almost since we got married. Our last “new” car was eight years old when we bought it. Every now and then I catch him noticing the new Dodge Challenger, and he …

“Chili with merlot?” grinned my husband Patrick. “There may be something to this wine-and-food-pairing thing after all.” I had to drag him to the winemaker dinner, but once he saw the chili provided by chef …

Water roared down our street, pooled up around the clogged street drain, and began to overflow into our neighbor’s front yard. By the time Patrick unclogged the drain — two plastic "No Parking" signs were …

The family Suburban turns 16 this year and with a little help from my kids, the tinting on the rear windows looks even older. I’m not giving up my truck until it’s dead, but I …

“The Chinese proverb says, ‘Better to be deprived of food for three days than tea for one,’” proclaimed friend Bernice as she poured a cup of green tea during our afternoon chat. The tea was …

New Year. No more chips. Almonds! Hubby Patrick, friend Lissa, and I sat down for a tasting, beginning with the kind most likely to be served in-flight: Blue Diamond Roasted & Salted ($3.49 for 6 …

“I’m not looking back — I’m looking forward,” Nancy proclaimed. “I try not to think of the resolutions that I have broken. My main problem is I make a resolution and then there is a …

“What if we skipped Christmas cards this year?” I asked my husband Patrick. “What if we just told the kids Santa had swine flu this year?” he replied. “You’re just stressed. Let’s take care of …

“The breading is the swaddling clothes, the chicken is the Christ child, the steam piping off the nuggets is the breath of the animals gathered around the manger, and the fries are the angels’ wings,” …

It’s a winter tradition: husband on the roof in the rain, pulling leaves out of the gutters and trying not to fall to his death. So far, he’s been successful. I hate to make him …

Eve: What I’m grateful for this Thanksgiving is my hubby Patrick’s bawdy jokes and funky ’70s dance moves and the spontaneous renditions of “Nessun dorma” that burst forth from his soul. My son’s pure joy …

To Be Thankful Requires Humility — John Brizzolara This Year, We’re Staying Local — Pamela Hunt-Cloyd Eat What the Politicians Feed You — Don Bauder This Is How It’s Supposed to Be — Barbarella Thanksgiving: …

“According to Plato, ‘The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future life,’” observed my pal Bernice. “So, you need to reward these heroic teachers who put up with your little rascals …

“This isn’t a garage,” complained my husband Patrick. “This is a landfill. Let’s get rid of this junk.” Fred Siegel of San Diego Junk Removal and Disposal (aka Fred’s Hauling Service, 619-245-9957, junk80.com) was happy …

“The old guard is passing away,” sighed Aunt Azelda. “Nobody wants monogrammed shirts anymore. Except my brother Wilfred, bless his heart. Help me out, won’t you, Evie?” The first lady I called — a veteran …

Our camping trip was near perfection. Long hikes in the backcountry, bird-watching, warm days followed by cool nights gathered around the campfire singing songs… The only wrinkle was the much-anticipated s’mores. On the way out …

The family is off to another camping excursion this weekend, and the kids’ only concern is that marshmallows are packed. They’re really all you need for nutrition, aren’t they? So, between dusting off the Coleman …

Crunch. Uh-oh. Patrick backed into my best friend’s car. I rang up Eddie Martin, owner and master technician at the Dent Devils (619-726-6767, thedentdevils.com), a paintless dent-removal shop. “People think of us as ‘the body-shop …

“You are Crocktastic!” “Well, they don’t call me Crockalicious for nothing.” This back-and-forth at our family reunion happened between hubby Pat and sis Meg, aka Crock-Pot Queen. The Kelly home doesn’t even own a Crock-Pot. …

Remember when I helped my nephew Freddy find a résumé service? Now, he’s getting called for interviews but still not landing the job. “Help me, Aunt Eve,” he entreated. “I need something more — some …

I’m 38 years old now, and my mother has been after me to get a mammogram for three years. So, me being me, I started calling around and ended up speaking with Anita LaBreque, director …

The Kelly children are hooked on fishing. All it took was a morning with Dad at the Crystal Pier Kids’ Classic Fishing Derby. They returned home triumphant. One of the kids had placed fourth in …

"Is there a Résumés for Dummies?” asked my nephew Freddy. “I’ve been looking for a job for two months with only one callback.” I didn’t have a book for him, but I did have a …

Abundance flowed from the Kelly garden boxes this summer. When the first produce was ready to be picked, I licked my lips as I planned a family feast. We’ve been chowing down on zucchini, cucumbers, …

"Of course everyone wants to visit us,” I quipped to my husband Patrick. “We live in America’s Finest City.” “Fine,” he retorted. “But all at once? Old-timers, hipsters, and tweens — it’s too much. You …

‘We just want to toodle around and see the sights,” said Aunt Nancy on the phone before her visit. “And we don’t want to put you out in the slightest.” “How does one toodle?” asked …

As the night dragged on, the four-year-old wailed with growing pains. The pregnant mama made her third trip to the bathroom across the campsite. Exhausted dad wrestled to find a comfortable position in the tent.... …

Patrick hasn’t been playing golf lately. Three years ago, he played a game about every two weeks. That became a weekday-morning nine-hole at Mission Trails near our La Mesa home ($15 to play the back …

“Bloody hell!” exclaimed Patrick in mock horror as he gazed into the sink at my pink post-brush spittle. “Oh, my gums always bleed when I brush,” I assured him. “That can’t be right,” he replied. …

“My kids are like druggies,” lamented my friend Nancy. “If you give them sugar or TV, they don’t want to stop.” I sympathized. “I know what you mean about the TV. Between that and the …

“With all of my boys,” said my sis Meg, surfacing from her boys’ messy bedroom, “I really should be refreshing our home more often. Between odiferous shoes and sweaty bodies, it’s a true blessing my …