Dear Hipster: I about died over “Blake,” despite the fact that I think you woefully miscategorized at least some of the world’s Blakes. Surely there must be a hipster Blake or two to break the …
June 3, 2015
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Stories by DJ Stevens
What's in a name, especially if it's Cheryl?
Country music acceptability criteria
Dear Hipster: My boyfriend and I made the trip up to Stagecoach this year, and we are still stoked on it. So much fun! I guess we don’t look like typical country fans, so people …
May 27, 2015
Celebrate the Stinkiest month
Mr. Hipster...Dude: If hipsters are trendsetters, why haven’t they picked-up on the Stinko de Mayo celebration? Whereas the Cinco de Mayo celebration lasts only a day (or so), Stinko de Mayo is celebrated the entire …
May 27, 2015
Nobody heard of Blake’s burden before this
Dear Hipster: Is there anything about a person’s name that would preclude him or her from hipster status? Say, you wanted to be a professional wrestler, and you tried to bill yourself as King Tutu, …
May 20, 2015
Temple of Wes
Dear Hipster: What would be the ultimate hipster vacation destination for this summer? — Deb, Golden Hill Well, until recently that might have stumped me enough to cop something lamely ironic, and overzealously punctuated, like, …
May 20, 2015
Breaking: Local ingrate forgets Mother's Day, Reader saves day twice
Dear Hipster: So, I was reading the Mother’s Day issue of the Reader, which I didn’t get a chance to look over until Monday, and it hit me that I forgot to send my mom …
May 13, 2015
Blame the frat brothers for dad-body popularity
Dear Hipster: I want to blame hipsters for making us aware of the “dad body,” aka “the stupidest trend of the year so far,” but, before I do, I thought I would consult you. This …
May 13, 2015
Have a holly-jolly summertime
Dear Hipster: I like to play my Christmas-themed Pandora station every six weeks or so, even if it isn’t Christmastime. I think it’s funny to listen to Burl Ives in July. My friends don’t agree. …
May 6, 2015
Hip-ocrisy or versatility?
Hello Mr. Hipster: I am not very big on hipster culture, but I do know that hipsters tend to act very anti-corporation. I live in South Park, and the whole area is fighting Target from …
May 6, 2015
Battery salesmen HATE Kyle
Dear Hipster: If you drop a dead alkaline battery on a hard surface, it will bounce. If you drop a good battery, it won’t. Did you know that? It’s an easy way to test whether …
April 29, 2015
Jamaican, prove thyself
Dear Hipster: I have recently moved to San Diego and have immediately noticed a general affinity for reggae music. It seems that everywhere I go, hipsters are wearing the T-shirts, the beads, playing the music …
April 29, 2015
What beard? I never had a beard
The decline of the handlebar ’stache began on July 17, 2011
April 29, 2015
Instead of dying, they just go to Live Wire
Look past the uniform and into the youthful soul of the ones who won't let go.
April 22, 2015
But, but — what about the Boomers?
Just Asking: Are hipsters really so endlessly fascinating that they need an entire column devoted to answering questions about them every week? How about a weekly column called Ask a Baby Boomer? That would be …
April 22, 2015
Better to just be a penguin at prom
Discern the difference between radness and annoyingness.
April 15, 2015
Always another reason to scorn
Dear Hipster: What is the significance to popular music, and pop culture in general, if One Direction breaks up following the departure of Zayn Malik from the band? If Justin Bieber has truly slid into …
April 8, 2015
Keep moving, IRS (nothing to see here)
Dear Hipster: April 15th is right around the corner. I wonder, do hipsters pay their taxes like good citizens? — Call Me “Your Cousin in Government, Irving Radcliff Stevens” The funny thing is, I actually …
April 8, 2015
High-risk television
Dear Hipster: What should I watch on TV this week? Guide me. — Hilary Since everything TV becomes meaningless when Game of Thrones comes back on the air next month, I suggest you go for …
March 25, 2015
You made this? I made this
Dear Hipster: So, this lawsuit where Pharrell Williams and Robin Thicke have to pay Marvin Gaye’s heirs seven million dollars has me and the rest of the world wondering, Where does it end? Maybe the …
March 25, 2015
Authenticity from the days of Oog
Dear Hipster: I don’t doubt you per se, but how are we supposed to accept your word as THE hipster? Are there not other, perhaps more authoritative hipsters? If my doctor couldn’t show me a …
March 18, 2015
Dress overexposure
Dear Hipster:What color did you see when you looked at #TheDress?— Amanda DJ:I don’t care what science says. I don’t care if BuzzFeed and Wired tell me otherwise. The damn dress is white and gold!— …
March 11, 2015
A missive from North Park’s “super sketchballs” quarter
Dear Hipster: My wife and I are stoked to be first-time homeowners in North Park. We had a housewarming party the other day, and a few friends of ours were saying how our part of …
March 11, 2015
Dis the DST
Dear Hipster: I direct this question to you, because I feel that the world at large ought to be “over it” in regards to Daylight Savings Time and because hipsters are the masters of being …
March 4, 2015
Maximum cryptic effect
Dear Hipster: My friend told me she really wants a Herschel backpack, which I notice has become super trendy in the past couple years. This got me thinking about the relative coolness of fashionable clothing …
March 4, 2015
Graphic designer, eh?
The state of the art world itself created the hipster graphic designer stereotype.
February 25, 2015
Less Anna and Hans, more Anna and Elsa
Mr. Hipster: My girlfriend spent a significant portion of Valentine’s Day with one of her friends. She said it was important to show some solidarity for a single girlfriend, and that it should be more …
February 25, 2015
Appeal of the cutting-edge '90s
Dear Hipster: Am I uncool for not wanting a smartphone? My friends tease me, but I enjoy a $20/month phone bill and a 72-hour battery life. — Annie Good news, Annie. You may actually fall …
February 18, 2015
Be a better person, or like, whatever
Dear Hipster: My sister and I went to Luigi’s Pizza on a recent Friday night. And as you can imagine, the place was packed with hipsters galore and their hipster tots in-tow. We ordered, ate, …
February 18, 2015
Pulling for Wes
Hey Hipster: Give us some hipster-approved Oscar picks! — Devon Hipsters the world over will be pulling for Wes Anderson to win Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Original Screenplay for The Grand Budapest Hotel. …
February 18, 2015
Sipping with the Style Gods
Dear Hipster: How come the hipsters got coffee and the hippies got tea? Is that a coincidence or is there something about tea that makes it more friendly to the granola-crunching, patchouli-smelling set? — Geoff, …
February 11, 2015
Perpetual motion machine of contemporary vanity
Dear Hipster: I’ve noticed a lot of my friends post pretty much the same exact selfie over and over and over again on Facebook and Instagram. I don’t have a problem with selfies and stuff, …
February 11, 2015
Farm to drive-thru
Does the end of Modern Farmer signal the final stage of hipster-foodie culture?
February 4, 2015
Coolest. Day. Ever.
Dear Hipster: Is there a National Hipster Day or anything like that? — David My sources say, “no.” Poor-taste Facebook group “National Punch a Hipster Day” latched on to a wee bit of interwebs fame …
January 28, 2015
#ironymatters, bae
Dear Hipster: I just thought you should know, the American Dialect Society voted #blacklivesmatter as its Word of the Year. Sorry to the person who was hoping for “selfie stick.” — Anne Selfiestick couldn’t even …
January 28, 2015
Blame the boomers
Dear Hipster: Riddle me this: are Millennials hipsters or are hipsters Millennials? — jo jo Myopic culture pundits love to lump the two groups together, but you know the one about all squares being rectangles, …
January 21, 2015
I bet you caught ’em all
Dear Hipster: I was born in 1994, and I keep seeing all this “’90s kids will know” stuff on my Twitter and FB feeds. Unfortunately, not a lot of it really applies to me. I …
January 21, 2015
One for the hate file
Dear Hipster: I think I found a loophole in your hipsters don’t ski hypothesis. I went to Mammoth for a ski trip, and I totally saw a hipster there...snowboarding! Hipsters may not ski, but they …
January 14, 2015
Own Halloween (and some Danzig fans)
Dear Hipster: I’m reading a book about a race of robots that live on another planet, and they have technology that can print an impermanent copy of anything that exists. The copies fade away, but …
January 14, 2015
Q is the key
Dear Hipster: My mother-in-law incessantly lords her board-game superiority over me. How do I get better at SCRABBLE? — Brandon I’d like to go on the record that this is a poor use for my …
January 7, 2015
Burning cool
Dear Hipster: Why the hell do hipsters feel compelled to gather so much useless knowledge to themselves? What’s the point in memorizing the characters and actors from a questionable 1990s sitcom? — Amy, North Park …
January 7, 2015
Year of the ... selfie stick?
Dear Hipster: I went ice skating a little while ago, and this group of teenagers had a selfie stick that they were using to take pictures of themselves not skating (because they were too busy …
January 7, 2015
Don't open that door!
Dear Hipster: I remember reading about how you recommended that people should take an interest in their own security, rather than trusting firewalls or whatever. Now, the Sony hacking scandal is all in the news, …
December 31, 2014
No automotive white zin
Dear Hipster: Everyone associates hipsters with fixed-gear bicycles, albeit sometimes unfairly, but why isn’t there a strong association between hipsters and any particular kind of car? — Donny Urban hipsters admire the boxy lines of …
December 31, 2014
No internet naïveté
Dear Hipster: How come you don’t have a personal blog? I thought all hipsters had to have personal blogs, or at least Tumblrs. I might read it, if that’s any consolation to you. — Bernie …
December 24, 2014
Heed old uncle Polonius
Dear Hipster: I don’t know why I’m writing you about this, but maybe you can advise. I’ve been dating the same guy for about two weeks, give or take. I like him a lot, but …
December 17, 2014
Nary an elf
DJ: What should I do if my wife and I want to wrap gifts for friends and family but we don’t like the usual holiday motifs? Call me crazy, but corpulent Santas and stylized sugarplums …
December 17, 2014