Dear Hipster: I am three months into dating the same woman, and it is going very well...except for Valentine’s Day, which didn’t go over very well at all. I could be wrong about this, but …
February 24, 2016
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Stories by DJ Stevens
No pinch-hits for Hallmark
Revisiting the flat earth concept
Dear Hipster: Is the Earth really flat like B.o.B. says? — Donnie G., Cardiff Dear Hipster: How is it even possible to believe in a Flat Earth? — Evelyn Dear Hipster: Would it be hipster …
February 17, 2016
Does Sober February have to end?
Dear Hipster: A handful of my friends are in the middle of Sober February, and I couldn’t be happier! Since I don’t drink anymore, I often feel awkward going out. Most of my friends are …
February 17, 2016
Lord Buckley’s application not flat-out rejected
Dear Hipster: May I suggest Lord Buckley for the Hipster Hall Of Fame? He even titled one of his albums Hipsters, Flipsters, and Finger Poppin Daddies, released in 1955! — Tim It’s easy to see …
February 10, 2016
Old Farty-Fart skips question, launches into diatribe
Dear Hipster: So, I’ve been planning on writing to you for some weeks now, but I just never got around to it. Too lazy, or whatever. But, today I got to thinking, “Hey! If I’m …
February 3, 2016
Being a barista or bartender is a respectable career goal
Dear Hipster: I’d always heard that it’s impolite to make small talk about jobs, yet strangers at parties and other gatherings all too often ask me “what I do.” I’m not ashamed of my job …
January 27, 2016
The next thing for mustachio’d, tweedy manliness
Hipster Magister, I nominate J.R.R. Tolkien for the Hipster Hall of Fame. The man invented the fantasy genre before it was cool. None of the generations of imitators have come anywhere close to matching him. …
January 27, 2016
No to weather systems, yes to Beefheart
Hipster: When it comes to the highly anticipated unveiling of the 2016 Hipster Hall of Fame class, the name we are all waiting to hear is, in fact, “tropical storm El Niño.” Getting two weeks …
January 20, 2016
Q: What to do with all those old t-shirts?
Hey Hipster: Love your column so I can keep up on what’s hip as a junior-senior! I noted with interest your resolution to get rid of your old concert T-shirts. NO! NO! Don’t do it! …
January 13, 2016
Scene: North Park, late ’70s
Dear Hipster: I grew up in North Park in the late ’70s, and I went to Alice Birney Elementary School. Since I lived in North Park before it was cool, does that make me an …
January 13, 2016
Was Captain Beefheart a hipster?
An all-points bulletin to the Hipster Congressional Fact Finding Committee.
December 30, 2015
Pickled eggs for christmas — no reason why not
Dear Hipster: I almost always have a really hard time buying gifts for people. Birthdays are tough enough, but this time of year is all but impossible, seeing as how there are so many people …
December 16, 2015
Hipster Hall of Fame nominations begin to roll in
Disney's mustache doesn't cut it.
December 2, 2015
What do you name your kid when hyphenation doesn't cut it anymore?
Dear Hipster: My wife and I have been talking about having a kid, really just kicking the idea around more than anything else, and I was surprised to find out that she is absolutely, 100% …
November 25, 2015
Solid candidate for proto-hipsterdom found!
Dunlop’s manly beard alone makes him a candidate.
November 11, 2015
What to do with Qualcomm Stadium post-Chargers?
First off, Qualcomm needs a 250m, Olympic-caliber velodrome.
November 4, 2015
What warrants Halloween immortalization?
Go as Kim Kardashian’s glistening buttocks.
October 28, 2015
Who is the hipster bandit?
Dear Hipster: I have deduced your secret identity. I’ll bet you thought you could hide behind your column inches, but you can fool us no longer. You’re the hipster bandit! It was a good ruse …
October 14, 2015
How to bail from that moving-day promise
If you gotta help someone move, at least set a limit.
October 14, 2015
If "gentrification is driving poverty," are hipster consumers pushing the gas pedal?
Attack on Cereal Killer Cafe nothing to fret.
October 7, 2015
Felony on your record? No problem!
Dear Hipster: I’m a U.S. citizen who has a felony on my record and a bachelor’s degree on my résumé. I am afraid to get a job or need help with job placement, but I …
September 30, 2015
Usernames are a vestigial organ
Dear Hipster: I want to get Instagram on my phone, but I am not so good at naming things, and I can’t bring myself to install the app till I have a good username in …
September 23, 2015
It is now practical to get rid of the VCR
Dear Hipster: I’m trying to part ways with some of the old things around the house that I don’t use, including a substantial collection of movies on VHS. I’ve got about 300 titles, mostly from …
September 23, 2015
Online arguments are not meant to be won
Dear Hipster: I belong to a local community organization, relatively small in number, but passionate in spirit. Like any group, ours gets its fair share of agitators from time to time. I like to think …
September 16, 2015
Flying is serious business
Dear Hipster: Do you think birds enjoy flying? I know I would! — Danny (age 10), South Park If we’re anthropomorphizing (ask your parents), I’ll go out on a limb and say that birds regard …
September 9, 2015
Healthy motivation to stay on top of your cultural game
The plaid-suit secret police may come for you.
September 9, 2015
Adult man versus video game
Dear Hipster: I, like many Android users, am obsessed with Fallout Shelter now that the game has made its way beyond the world of iOs. Plants vs. Zombies and Clash of Clans both held me …
September 2, 2015
When your location is, like, so retro
Hey Hipster: The dictionary defines “slumming” as, “to visit slums, especially from curiosity...to visit or frequent a place, group, or amusement spot considered to be low in social status.” Technically, this is what moving to …
September 2, 2015
Hipsters don't like hipsters
Dear Hipster: Are there any movies about hipsters? Google comes up with a list of movies hipsters watch, or hipster characters, but I envision a pretty cool, funny movie about hipsters and hipster culture — …
August 26, 2015
Were 1960s English mods more Vogue than Vice?
DJ: I think you should reconsider your commentary on 1960s English mods. I lived through that scene when my parents moved to London for my father’s job. Granted, I was a fairly young teenager at …
August 19, 2015
Are dedicated followers of fashion the best or the worst?
Dear Hipster: Would you please explain the difference between a hipster and a “Dedicated Follower of Fashion?” — Puzzled, David Fifty years and a tattoo sleeve. Hey-oooo! Next! See what I did there? That was …
August 12, 2015
Stop hating and ask the cool cat where he got his café racer
Dear Hipster: What is the typical life cycle of a Hipster fad? You guys don’t usually annoy me. Hey, every group has its own uniforms, totems, and mores. But, lately I’ve seen (heard) a troubling …
August 5, 2015
Onward, to flyover country!
Dear Hipster: I know you were mostly joking about moving to Austin because moving to Portland is too mainstream, but it got me thinking. The Y2K years saw widespread gentrification of major urban centers, but …
July 29, 2015
Procrastination nation
Dear Hipster: I’m an independent contractor with a handful of small design clients. It’s not a huge amount of work, but it pays the bills. Sometimes, especially when I work at home, I procrastinate for …
July 29, 2015
To all the like-bombers out there
Dear Hipster: One of my friends follows me on Instagram. He periodically goes through and likes everything I post, no matter what it is. I don’t know why, but it freaks me out a little …
July 22, 2015
Doctors are the enemy
Mr. Hipster: My sister complains to me constantly of nebulous ailments, but she never actually gets a satisfying diagnosis for anything. I grow weary of her hypochondria, since she doesn’t trust most doctors, and so …
July 15, 2015
Lost art of urban direction-finding
Dear Hipster: How do I find true north? It’s not like I think I actually need survival skills for my occasional camping trips in East County, but it would be cool to know. Obviously, I …
July 8, 2015
The age of quasi-ironic movie remakes
Dear Hipster: Look at your local movie theater and coming attractions. Terminator!? Jurassic Park!? Mad Max!? Star Wars!? What year is it? What does this all mean, and why am I so excited? — Danny …
July 8, 2015
Put on your vintage Freedom Trousers
Dear Hipster: With Independence Day just around the corner, I have to know why you hipsters hate America so much. You’re all so quick to blame the government when you can’t find a job, but …
July 1, 2015
Unstoppable spoiler force
Dear Hipster: I have one friend who is an unstoppable force of TV and movie spoiling. He even spoiled the Game of Thrones finale for me! Unacceptable! He claims that he is powerless in the …
July 1, 2015
Portland unlikely...maybe Austin
Yo DJ: I don’t believe you that there is a world hipster conference. — Max D., Hillcrest It’s in a pretty obscure location, so I’m not surprised you’ve never heard about it before.
July 1, 2015
We all have a little genocidal maniac inside
Dear Hipster: I read the Reader regularly enough to notice the absolute flood of letters coming in from people on all sides of the issue regarding pit bulls. Is “inundated” too strong a word? I …
June 24, 2015
Ethical breakpoints
Dear Hipster: I have a friend who held down a 4.0 GPA this past term, but I have it on good authority that he wildly plagiarized some, if not all, of his final papers. I …
June 24, 2015
Thelonius Monk. Hipster? Sure. Why not?
Dearest DJ: Isn’t it about time you lauded the original Amerikkkan hipster, Thelonious Sphere Monk? This was a man considered so odd that people only noticed his weirdness, rather than the fact that he penned, …
June 17, 2015
Tastelessness is relative
Dear Hipster: I like to keep my sunglasses on the back of my head when it’s too dark to wear them. My girlfriend freaks out about it. She says it makes me look “trashy.” But, …
June 10, 2015
The difference between hipsters and hippies
Dear Hipster: What is the difference between hipster and hippie? My roommate and I were having a discussion, and, well, I figured, let’s ask a hipster. You can find hipsters in overpriced homes in North …
June 10, 2015
Invaluable to all manner of queries
Dear Hipster: In the May 7 Reader, in the final paragraph of the first answer, you say, “...hipsters can be flexible with their morals.” Then, “...by paradoxically holding on to choice antiquated values that provide …
June 3, 2015