Dear Hipster: (1) What’s with the trend of local hipster places with two words separated by an ampersand? Like: Herb & Wood, Soda & Swine, Craft & Commerce, Ketchup & Vodka, etc. (2) Are those …
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Stories by DJ Stevens
Dear Hipster: Why does Microsoft Word come with so many fonts that nobody ever uses? — Syd It’s not that nobody ever uses them, it’s that 99 percent of the available fonts in your word-processing …
Dear Hipster: Sadly, I must inform you that shrimp are crustaceans, not molluscs as you stated. I’m certain I’m not the only amateur marine biologist giving you crap about this. I enjoy your column, though. …
Hipster: How long have you had your column? Isn’t there some rule that says you’ve aged out of hipsterdom? Don’t hipsters follow a modified Logan’s Run rule? What gives? — Dan Dan. My man. Haven’t …
Dear Hipster: Election is almost upon us! Who will you (and the rest of the hipsters) vote for? — Dawn I actually thought I was going to get away with not fielding this particular inquiry. …
Dear Hipster: I enjoy reading your column. I thought of you recently whilst purchasing frozen precooked Baja shrimp at a strip-mall grocery store. The package boasted that the shrimp were “wild-caught by artisanal fishermen.” What …
Dear Hipster: I need help with this man-bun craze, you know, the short hair with a little ponytail. One of my favorite performers has taken up the man-bun, and it’s on all of his album …
Dear Hipster: Any good ideas for Halloween costumes? — Micaela My fave, the pop-culturally appropriate Hipster Halloween Costume Rundown. This year, the easy choice is scary clowns. I’m not sure if the whole “clown attack” …
Dear Hipster: Why is there no grape ice cream? #lifeslittlemysteries. — Cici A surprising glut of insane theories surrounds the nonexistence of grape ice cream. Believe none of them. Corporate America (responsible for all but …
Dear Hipster: I get why hipsters love to recreate awkward family photos from the 1980s and why they love ugly Christmas sweater parties. I dig it when they play records at home. In fact, I …
Dear Hipster: As one of my friends recently noted on Facebook, “Part of being a Hipster is pretending you aren’t a Hipster, and in fact insisting you don’t like Hipsters. But, what science is still …
Dear DJ, I’m an admirer of many aspects of Hipster Culture — craft, style, literacy, simplicity, girls in pleasant dresses, for instance. But I worry that it’s a culture doomed to failure, because it’s built …
Dear Hipster: Ugh. My neighbors on Nextdoor are such pricks sometimes. I’m obviously not going to say where I live, but it suffices to say that any issue related to parking or pets (among other …
Dear Hipster: I have one of #lifeslittlemysteries for you. Why is it that whenever I don’t need a drink at the bar, the hipster bartender comes over to check on me with that little, “You …
Dear Hipster: I’m 45 and I just went back to school! Well, graduate school, anyways. That counts, right? Personally, I’m thrilled by a return to academic life at this late juncture; but I must say, …
Dear Hipster: I met a seemingly nice guy. We have gone out twice. At first, I thought he had great prospects, because he is polite, funny, and not too hard on the eyes. Now, I’m …
Dear Hipster:I have one of #lifeslittlemysteries for you. HOW IS SPAM STILL A THING? I know of literally NOBODY who has ever bought sexytime drugs from an email, yet somebody is always keeping my spam …
Dear Hipster: I think I have a rather unique problem. I am a member of a private, co-ed book club. We are mostly middle-agers, with a few younger and a few older people mixed in. …
Dear Hipster:How stoked are you for the Olympics?— Seth The only thing that would make me happier than the extinction of the Olympics would be the simultaneous extinction of the Olympics and the Kings of …
Much as it pains me to ignore your collective problems for even a moment, I’m on vacation this week and unable to answer your letters. But, fear not! I’ve persuaded my cousin, Caroline...sorry, I mean, …
Dear Hipster:Why do so many people have nightmares in which their teeth fall out? Is it just one of life’s little mysteries or is there a very good reason?— Ella, Hillcrest Though it features prominently …
Dear Hipster: Since it’s becoming pretty mainstream these days, I want to start spinning vinyl at home, but I don’t know where to begin. I don’t necessarily trust the guys at Fry’s because I think …
Dear Hipster: It’s once again that saddest time of year, when Game of Thrones goes off the air, and I’m left with nothing to look forward to every week. I know it’s summer, and I …
Dear Hipster:Where in the human body is hipsterness most strongly concentrated?— Jeff, Lemon Grove This may come as something of a shock, but contemporary hipster scientists have isolated the human tonsil as the probable source …
Dear Hipster: Well, lookee here now! Led Zeppelin — or at least the songwriting team of Plant and Page — on trial for plagiarism. Back when Marvin Gaye’s estate sued Robin Thicke, I tried to …
Dear Hipster: I found a great solution to a common hipster problem, and I thought that I’d share it with you, and by extension the Reader’s readers. Did you know you can clean your vinyl …
Dear Hipster: Every day, my news feed alerts me of some extremely presumptuous GoFundMe or other. If it isn’t, “Help, I can’t afford to get my cat neutered,” it’s “Donate money so I can buy …
Dear Hipster: Thanks to my FB newsfeed, I got to read all about the Australian deconstructed coffee scandal. I included links for you. I think I might be a little stupider now (thanks, Obama), but …
Dear Hipster: My son just turned five this spring, and I want to get him started learning an instrument. I don’t harbor any secret desires to raise a concert pianist, though I would be happy …
Dear Hipster: My 62-year-old dad always says he hates Father’s Day. He calls it a bogus Hallmark holiday. He also likes to point out how TV’s image of “Dad” as a stereotypical bozo does nothing …
Dear Hipster: I have a pretty tight circle of friends, one of whom, who I don’t consider a close friend, exhibits some pretty disreputable behavior. Basically, he never has anything nice to say about anyone, …
Dear Hipster: So, the new Captain America movie is doing pretty well in theaters, having earned some three-hundred-million dollars or so as I write this, which I assume means it has a cross-cultural appeal. Still, …
Dear Hipster: I just moved into a really cool duplex apartment. A duplex is technically an apartment, right? It’s not some separate category of house? Anyways, the apartment has this tiny little room, which I …
Dear Hipster: I applaud Hipsterdom’s emphasis on hand craft in an increasingly digital world. I think the disciplining of our hands and minds to craft art, food, drink, furniture, clothing, and what have you is …
Dear Hipster: Your recent attempt at Latin wordsmithing reminded me of something, and I wonder, have you ever heard of hipster ipsum? It’s a website that generates hipster-themed dummy text (what we web developers call …
Dear Hipster: I would like to share a very specific observation made as a single woman in the twenty-something to thirty-something dating pool. I’ve gone on more than a few first dates where, instead of …
Dear Hipster: If hipsters are so good about supporting local businesses, then why did Off the Record close? I thought hipsters were all about music on vinyl. Shouldn’t there have been a healthy market for …
Dear Hipster: If a misogynist hates women, a misandronist hates men, and a misanthrope hates everybody; what do you call a hater of hipsters? — Deb A “misoneist” hates anything new or novel, but since …
Dear Hipster: I work for a small, professional business with about 12 other people. I love the fact that our “office” is very collegial and informal, but the flip side of that is that everybody …
Dear Hipster: I’ve got a 21st-century problem for you. Every time I attend a concert, or really any other significant event, the wall of cell phones taking snaps and Vines drives me to distraction. You …
About 18 months ago, I responded to a question about what kind of bicycle I would be, if I were a bicycle. Since then, contrary to what I would have assumed, inquiries along a similar …
Dear Hipster: If everybody — and I really mean everybody, because I do not know a single person who liked it — unequivocally hates Batman v. Superman, wouldn’t it be the most hipster thing ever …
Dear Hipster: Is it true that Roscoe’s is coming to San Diego? Give me the straight dope. — Derek As of this writing, Roscoe’s has yet to publicly confirm the rumors. I don’t know how …
Dear Hipster: Despite “we only serve water upon request” signs at most restaurants, I’ve noticed that compliance with water-saving regulations has slipped of late at some of my favorite spots. Servers are starting to automatically …
Dear Hipster: I’m loyal to the Reader, but I also peruse the NYT. One recent story about culturally relevant pop music in the 21st Century asserts that there has been a revival of New Age …
Dear Hipster: Every now and again, I get a Twitter follower from my past, often someone I haven’t spoken with since before Twitter existed, and then that person pops up with “so-and-so has followed you.” …
Dear Mr. Stevens I have never considered myself hipster. I was an A-student, in the marching band, graduated in 2001 a year early. I thought being cool or popular was lame. My husband is 12 …
Dear Hipster: I have two kids and a successful career. As you might guess, balancing those things makes my life more often than not pretty stressful, and I’m hardly swimming in opportunities to unwind. I …
Dear Hipster: Why do hipsters like bulldogs? I thought bros favored bulldogs, especially when they could be taught to skateboard. — Dana The past decade has been kind to bulldogs, and their French cousins, which …
Dear Hipster: My phone doesn’t get service at home, so I sometimes message mutual friends from my boyfriend’s phone. Whenever I do that, I suffer the strangest quandary. I wonder, is it better to a) …