My sister Jane — a bold, don’t-take-no-for-an-answer saleswoman — lives by the adage, “It doesn’t hurt to ask.” Even when she knows a request is unlikely to be granted, she still throws it out there …
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Stories by Barbarella Fokos
STARTERS: Wine Vault & Bistro One of the best dining deals in town, this hidden gem is tucked away atop of Midtown’s International Restaurant Row (on India near Washington). Enjoy three courses of finely executed …
My father refers to David and me as “lesbians.” Dad means no insult — it’s just that nearly all of the couples he knows who seem to be attached at the hip also happen to …
Sometimes I forget that a mere 15 miles away from downtown San Diego is a-whole-nother country, with its own customs and laws that, despite their close proximity to America, are light years away from those …
Stand-up is darker and gritty. Improv is happier and supportive.
An invisible ice-pick pierced my right ear and I yelped in agony. The pain was both frosty and fiery, biting and burning. No matter how hard I pushed my head back into the pillow, there …
Jenny, my wittiest sister, recently discovered a new app for her iPhone that has made group-texting with my sisters far more interesting. Though Heather and I benefit from the potentially endless supply of hilarity, the …
It was a perfect day in Rancho Santa Fe — wisps of white clouds floated through an azure sky and a cool, easy breeze complemented the warmth of the sun. The only thing missing from …
I have been suffering from what I refer to as Cause Fatigue, brought on by a barrage of missions mowing me down on the street, at the grocery store, or wherever I am via tweets, …
"I’m on a boat!” “I was wondering how long it would be before someone said that,” David said with a sideways smile. “Well, the answer is, ‘Before we’re even onboard,’” I said. I couldn’t tell …
It had been cold and cloudy when I’d dressed that morning, and the commencement ceremony wasn’t scheduled to begin until 4:30 p.m.; it never occurred to me that I might find myself trapped for over …
Jane’s Evite said the show began at 6. My father, like me, is loath to feel rushed and is absolutely opposed to any and all kinds of tardiness. When I suggested we ride together, he …
Dad thought I was kidding when I warned him that I wouldn’t be able to restrain myself if he lured that squirrel any closer. “David says I have a Snow White complex, but he doesn’t …
"Did you hear about Graham?” I shook my head and smiled because I imagined some hilarious Graham-shenanigan story was forthcoming. My friend’s face was somber as she reported, “He’s in the hospital. He was in …
David held a tight grip on his phone as he snapped photos out the window of our speeding Mini. “How can it be 95 degrees down here when there’s snow on top of that hill?” …
"You’re such a bee,” David said. “Why? What did I do?” “No, no, not that kind of bee! The bug kind,” David clarified, as if that made things any clearer. There were lots of ways …
Terri shimmied toward the car — shimmied, because there was no way she could get one whole leg in front of another. The only wiggle-room she had was from the shin down, where her long, …
My sisters and I stared at the illustrations on the side of the box, and passed the deceptively light metal tank around as we each took our turn trying to make it work. “Careful, it …
“I need to pee again,” I said to Arturo, the man behind the steering wheel. “Didn’t you just go?” “It’s not my fault you’re a camel,” I said, defensively. “And anyway, that was over two …
My sister and I clinked glasses filled with chilled wine (hers a straw-colored chardonnay, mine a blushing rosé) and then leaned back in our chairs with stoned smiles. My eyes wandered the expanse of Jane’s …
"Why do you think it’s always boys and never girls who go on these mass-shooting rampages?” I asked David, mostly rhetorically, because I already had my answer. “I think I know why; shooters are mostly …
"You want this?” David held up his buzzing phone so I could see the number displayed on the screen. After weighing the risk of answering an unknown number, I said, “Here, give it to me.” …
I doubted the man of the hour (or century, if you consider we were celebrating his 90th birthday) remembered me. I’d met David’s great-uncle, the Hungarian pianist Béla Síki, only once before, nearly a decade …
David’s phone buzzed on the table. He picked it up and smiled down at the screen. “What’s that?” I asked. “Oh, it’s Kik,” David said. “What? When did you join Kik? I thought you said …
With one step, the air changed from fresh morning cool to middle-of-the-rainforest hot. The atmosphere inside the Reptile House was so thick, I thought if I opened my mouth I’d have to chew in order …
Jane came rushing in like a gust of wind, disrupting the air in the room with her abrupt appearance. As usual, she managed to not miss any surface as she unloaded her many things — …
"Whoa, what is that on your finger?” Shawn reached out to grab Jordan’s hand. “Did you guys get married? What is that, titanium?” Jordan smiled sheepishly and then removed his ring and handed it over …
"Do you have Mexican food in Vancouver? Wait, that’s a stupid question — it’s a city, of course you do,” I said. “But it’s probably not as good as it is here...I mean, not because …
I couldn’t think of two people with more divergent worldviews than my father — a ribald Brooklyn boy turned retired naval officer who runs military war games abroad — and the proper young woman with …
I stood alone in the middle of a long aisle at Party City. I looked left. The only person in sight was the young clerk behind the register. Her face was turned away from me. …
I squeezed the plastic dropper and watched the first tiny glob break away and plummet into the big bowl. The droplet was supposed to slip through the surface of the liquid and end up at …
"So, what do you do at — ” I stole a glance at the name badge on the chest in front of me. “San Diego Story?” “I review music,” said Christian, the man behind the …
When I tell friends I don’t “do” Christmas in the traditional gift-exchange sense, the most common reaction is, “How do you get away with that?” They never ask why — they just want to know …
I’m into delayed gratification. For example, if someone gives me a cookie, I’ll rarely eat it right away; instead, I’ll save it for a time when I’ll get maximum enjoyment from eating it (such as …
My nephew Brian greeted us just inside the door to my mother’s house. On his head was a fuzzy Santa hat, and in his hands he held a black plastic camera. “Say, ‘Cheese,’” he said …
David’s parents seemed surprised when, upon entering their house, David remarked, “So, Riley got skunked again, huh?” “How did you know zat?” Ency asked. “What do you mean, how did — I can smell it,” …
David and I braced ourselves for the nippy, nighttime New England air as we stepped off the ferry and onto the ramp, headed toward the luggage cart. It was 10:30 p.m. on Martha’s Vineyard, more …
A squawky, unintelligible, robot voice emanated from my phone — my latest ring tone. When I answered, my sister Heather said, “Well, I guess you need to let me know what night is good for …
I don’t usually listen to voicemail left by robots, but this one was from my health-insurance company, so I stayed on the line long enough to jot down the 800 number I was instructed to …
You’d think I’d remember the layout better,” I said to the top of David’s smoothly shaven head, which was hovering over a small map of San Diego State University’s campus. “Then again, I was only …
Will you map the distance from Mia and Kerry’s place to the theater?” I called to David from the bathroom, where I was busy patting my head with wet hands to de-frizz my hair. “Why?,” …
If I were asked to describe myself using ten adjectives, “tact” would not be among them. So it was that, upon being introduced to a young man at the opening reception for David’s latest photographic …
San Diego restaurants taste-tested for you. Eats for Freelancers | Spirit of Family Dinnertime | More Than Dish or Deal | Accessible Gourmet | Lunchtime in Kearny Mesa | Fried Chicken | Restaurants to Try At Least Once
Every so often I find myself confronted by a seemingly innocuous phrase that rubs me the wrong way. This week, the offending line is “Don’t let it get to you,” a sentiment that simultaneously comforts …
A roundup of eateries that are open when you, the hardworking foodie freelancer, need them to be.
I pulled my bare feet onto the bed and smiled awkwardly at the stranger in the room. David and I watched as the man excavated a shard of glass from behind a sofa cushion. He …
I thought it would take more than the promise of seeing a few dogs to incentivize making a trip to El Cajon in the middle of a heat wave. The temperature climbs one degree for …
I grimaced at the tiny slip of paper in my hand. “I think this one’s written in German,” I groaned. “How am I supposed to give clues or act it out if I don’t even …
When my eyes flutter open each morning I am never aware of what the theme for the day will be. I’m not talking about one story, like the same headline posted by 20 different Facebook …
"Isn’t it nice here?” “It’s beautiful,” I said to my friend Jen. I made a sweeping glance of the restaurant’s patio, taking in the coral bougainvillea blossoms, the green leaves cascading from the trellis, and …