Oh, I know a lot of men are made uncomfortable by this monthly miracle. But not me. No, I embrace it. Embrace it the way some men embrace the weekend! Why, I anticipate it the …

'It's not like a field camera; it's more like a precision instrument," says Graham Flint. Flint, an aerospace physicist and photographer, started the Gigapxl Project with his wife, Catherine Aves, in 2000 to create "an …

You think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge: they won't let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just …

You don't have to be a "person of influence" to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me. -- Scott Adams …

At 15, violinist Eugene Ugorski has performed with over 65 orchestras, most recently in Moscow, where he played a Tchaikovsky concerto. "It was a very important concert," says Ugorski, because it fell on May 9, …

'The African honeybee is legendary for being completely irascible," says Tammy Horn. Commonly referred to as "killer bees," the African honeybees "have over 100 natural predators, so they have to be more aggressive. But they …

The worst thing that can happen to a man who gambles is to win. -- Charles H. Surgeon 'Why don't you gamble?" David pondered his answer for the span of two exits. I was lost …

'We try to get the worst first...we've got a fair shopping list of plants," says Jim Harrison, river committee coordinator for the San Diego Audubon Society. "We hope that, over time, we'll be able to …

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak. -- Hans Hofmann 'Only bring what will support your lifestyle," said the authoritative woman in red with an elegant Eastern …

'This is the most inexpensive art you could ever get into," says Rhonda Cole. "For $25 you can get all the supplies you would need for a year." Cole has been a member of the …

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. -- Erma Bombeck I slipped in undetected. Every part of me was silently screaming, …

"Careful, Ma; don't spill your soup," I warned. "First time you spill, that's it — you're going to the home.” Mom's reply was immediate. "I know. I've picked out what I want to take with me."

'Some fellas call themselves survivalists, but these mountain men were the true survivalists; they lived off what the mountain gave them. Most people thought these men died from fighting the Indians, but they died from …

All charming people, I fancy, are spoiled. It is the secret of their attraction. -- Oscar Wilde 'Do you want to go see Spamalot?" I asked David. We sat at opposite ends of our living …

If I had known of such a thing at age 11, I might have told my mother I was having an anxiety attack. As it was, the only way I could communicate to her my …

I have found that the person who is making the argument wants to impress upon the listener that they care about their subject matter. However, they don't want to be too passionate or appear to …

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it. -- Voltaire 'So , whatchya do this weekend?" She waited for my …

'Digital zoom adds nothing to the image, so I wouldn't use it, nor would I buy a camera based on it," says Lee Otsubo. "Optical zoom is real. Digital zoom is a marketing ploy." Otsubo, …

But they whose guilt within their bosoms lie imagine every eye beholds their blame. --William Shakespeare 'Am I a bad person for not going? She came to my party. Doesn't that mean I have to …

"Approximately 20 percent of the [42,000] people in Fallbrook deal with avocados in some way," says Bob Leonard, executive director of Fallbrook's Chamber of Commerce. The commercial avocado industry in the United States was founded …

And now you and your guests can be among the tiny handful of Americans who will savor and serve this astonishing ham... -- David Rosengarten 'Prepare to have your life changed!" Kip read from the …

'I'm not a vegetarian, and I don't want to live in the College Area," says Rodney Johnson, explaining why he is not interested in joining either of two local communes. Johnson would rather form his …

Anyone who drives slower than you is a moron. Anyone who drives faster than you is a maniac. -- My dad I have been bitchy all week -- irritable and quick to anger. People are …

'Funky, fresh, dressed to impress, ready to party!" For Samantha Duenas, third-year student at UCSD and member of the dance troupe Second 2 None, Missy Elliot lyrics are inspiring. "It sums it up with her," …

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings. -- Evan Esar 'I dreamt about him again last night," Jenny said during a lull in our fragmented conversation. "Yeah? What happened?" I asked, …

'My mom bought some property in Hemet and I went with her and I was like, 'Who the hell lives in Hemet?' I thought it was the weirdest little town in no-man's land. It looked …

Laurie got offended that I used the word puke. But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like. -- Jack Handy Last week, David received a package FedExed overnight from New York. Curious about a …

'If you see a Camaro convertible, there's more than likely a blonde driving it. For some reason, the ladies like Camaros," says Ray Taylor, who founded San Diego Auto Swap (also known as Ray Taylor's …

Dentist, n.: A prestidigitator who, putting metal in one's mouth, pulls coins out of one's pockets. -- Ambrose Bierce I was surrounded by glittering green shamrocks, some made of tinsel, others of poster-board. To my …

'On a daily basis, innumerable signals are broadcast on innumerable frequencies, all passing through our bodies, houses, everything, constantly. Unless we have a receiver tuned to a specific frequency, these invisible transmissions go largely unnoticed...I …

Character is so largely affected by association, that we cannot afford to be indifferent as to who or what our friends are. -- Anonymous 'W here's Mary?" Carolyn asked as revelers began to arrive. "Not …

'It's free. It's fun. It's fresh. It's freaky. It's fanatical. It's funky. It's flavorful. It's freakin' rad! Besides, we can't shop all day long, can we?" This is how Isabelle "Izzy" Tihanyi and her sister, …

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. -- Friedrich Nietzsche 'Are you sure you don't need any help in there?" David asked when he heard me …

Life-size paintings of men, women, gods, goddesses, and human anatomy convey the convergence of the spiritual, medical, and psychotropic influences on Alex Grey's portrayal of the divine. These paintings are on display for Grey's five-year …

A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost. -- Marion C. Garretty 'I want to make a toast," Jane said, lifting her glass, "to our guys. All of us are …

"Attention, San Diego units. 11-Boy requesting backup — he's on the shoulder of 805 southbound just north of Balboa Avenue, dealing with an irate citizen." That's us, I thought. "Is there a unit in the …

How simple and frugal a thing is happiness: a glass of wine, a roast chestnut, a wretched little brazier, the sound of the sea... All that is required to feel that...here and now is a …

'I t seems that everything's gone wrong since Canada came along. Blame Canada! Blame Canada! With all their hockey hullabaloo, and that b***h Anne Murray too! Blame Canada! Shame on Canada!" On Saturday, February 12, …

A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run. Sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet. -- Helen Roland We stopped at the store for chocolate and …

"We want people to leave their worries outside - check that at the door, rush the stage, and ROCK!"

'This is no 'feel-good' philosophy, obviously. It will cause anguish, anger, fear, and hopelessness in the majority of those who understand it. Many will not even dare read it; many others will be forbidden to …

Just before they went into warp, I beamed the whole kit and kaboodle into their engine room, where they'll be no tribble at all. -- Scotty, explaining how he got rid of the tribbles ("The …

It is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors. -- Oscar Wilde Watching Catherine shift her weight from foot to foot, I rejoiced in my decision to wear practical shoes. It took only …

Buy! Buy! Says the sign in the shop window. Why? Why? Says the junk in the yard. -- Paul McCartney Is it cold out? At 9:00 a.m. the sun wasn't exactly beating down on us, …

Yes, Mother. I can see you are flawed. You have not hidden it. That is your greatest gift to me. -- Alice Walker 'You know how I can tell this is an elegant place?" I …

Karen: "Grace, it's Christmas, for goodness sake. Think about the baby Jesus, up in that tower, letting his hair down so that the three wise men can climb up and spin the dreidel and see …

You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets. -- Nora Ephron 'I have a surprise for you," David said as he opened the door on his way into …

The man who goes alone can start today, but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready. -- Henry David Thoreau I'm what you might call a "jet-setter." According to dictionary.com, …

It is only with gratitude that life becomes rich. -- Dietrich Bonhoeffer 'Can you pass the gravy?" I waited patiently to fill my face with all kinds of Thanksgiving Day goodness. So far, everything on …

USA Today has come out with a new survey -- apparently, three out of every four people make up 75 percent of the population. -- David Letterman At first, I thought it would be cool …