How do you forge a friendship in 140 characters or less? — Rosa Jurjevics "So, how do you know Charley and Rebecca?” asked the woman in the white dress. I’d noticed her earlier, had admired …

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. — Bertrand Russell The stars were bright in Chula Vista — not desert-brilliant but dazzling enough when …

There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them. — Andre Gide I sensed that the status was definitely not quo, even before I noticed the reddish-brown spot that had appeared …

I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts. — John Steinbeck ‘I’m going to ask you both to …

To me, it seems a dreadful indignity to have a soul controlled by geography. — George Santayana ‘Where are you from?” It was a simple question. But the way Jane stared back at the guy, …

Canes Bar & Grill in Mission Beach has been an obstacle in Randy Wood’s attempt to revive his success of the 1980s. At least, that is, according to Wood, who in his heyday created a …

The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent. — Mell Lazarus Had it not been for the unmistakable racket of a wailing child and the desperate, hushed tone of …

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t. — Erica Jong As Karen chronicled her first few dates with a new guy, I couldn’t help thinking how …

Guns don’t kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun). — Eddie Izzard I exited the freeway 20 or so miles east of San Diego. Noting the prevalence of …

I love my father as the stars — he’s a bright shining example and a happy twinkling in my heart. — Adabella Radici Dad sat on my red couch, his left hand clutching his right. …

Nobody on his deathbed ever said, “I wish I had spent more time at the office.” — Paul Tsongas I rolled onto my right side and stretched my left arm toward the nightstand. I simultaneously …

Youth is a disease from which we all recover. — Dorothy Fulheim ‘That’s the third billboard for 17 Again that we’ve passed in as many blocks. I forgot how thick they lay it on here,” …

A man can stand a lot as long as he can stand himself. He can live without hope, without friends, without books, even without music, as long as he can listen to his own thoughts. …

There are times, sometimes in the midst of otherwise polite conversation, when it comes out that I make my living writing for the Reader. The follow-up to this revelation is almost never “Oh, that’s right, …

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. —Joan Kerr Bella approached the refrigerator with cautious curiosity. “Are you thirsty, honey?” …

-50 percent white port -50 percent tonic water -Slice of lemon, on the rocks in a highball glass My taste in adult beverages, like my taste in friends, has become more refined with each passing …

What’s the big mystery? It’s my vagina, not the sphinx! — Miranda on Sex and the City We were at Target, a store Jane hits up an average of three times a week. While Jane …

In the strict scientific sense, we all feed on death — even vegetarians. — Mr. Spock, Star Trek My friend Hanis has a tattoo of a pig on his left forearm — a simple outline …

Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment. — Rita Mae Brown "This is fantastic,” I said. “It’s not so good as Josue’s,” said Rosa, turning to her husband. Josue shrugged …

Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience. — Georges-Louis Leclerc, Comte de Buffon I gave a rundown of my day, as I do every morning for David’s benefit. As our social secretary, it’s …

I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in. — John Muir In the Kerala state of southwest India blooms …

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. — Émile Zola I wrenched myself from the espresso-machine demo and joined David by the cookbooks. “You sure about this?” I …

As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters. — Solomon Ibn Gabirol I waited in the lobby and watched through the window as the cold rain pelted the sidewalk. I nodded …

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. — Barnett R. Brickner It’s not that I’m a disciple of the supernatural — it’s only human …

Any dolt with half a brain can see that humankind has gone insane. — Dr. Horrible I tried to hide my satisfaction when Janet ordered the burger. I was thrilled she had placed such trust …

Disease is somatic; the suffering from it, psychic. — Martin H. Fischer It began on Sunday morning. From my first bite of oatmeal, whatever I put in my mouth turned bitter on my tongue — …

I dug right down to the bottom of my soul... And cried. ’Cause I felt...nothing. — A Chorus Line “Your phone is ringing,” David said. “It’s your mom. Here.” Disoriented, I took hold of the …

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. — George Bernard Shaw Bella was the first to notice me. She waved one hand high above her head and used the …

Do not keep on with a mockery of friendship after the substance is gone — but part, while you can part friends. Bury the carcass of friendship: it is not worth embalming. — William Hazlitt …

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will. — Robert Frost I felt a twinge in my stomach and looked …

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present, and future. — Gail Lumet Buckley Despite a resolution to skip all holiday hullabaloo, I agreed to celebrate …

The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event. You go to bed in one kind of a world and wake up in another quite different, and if this …

“Someone smells a little too human at Trader Joe’s.” — Shindotv on Twitter I bowed forward 90 degrees and slowly lifted my right leg into the air behind me, like a ballerina only not as …

If you don’t understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child. — Linda Sunshine Jenny was …

Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life. — Sophia Loren To say I was “looking forward” to Thanksgiving would be a gross understatement. I was giddy with anticipation. This would …

“Every single gift must have its proper folds,” says Lisa Koide Halverson. “In America, on Christmas, you don’t wrap a present in black — usually red or green. On Easter it’s usually wrapped in pink …

“There’s no question that emotions play a big part in determining the outcome of a case,” says retired San Diego superior court judge Norbert Ehrenfreund. “The appearance of the defendant, for example, and the way …

If depression is creeping up and must be faced, learn something about the nature of the beast: You may escape without a mauling. — Dr. R.W. Shepherd By the time I turned off the faucet, …

“In July 2004, I was coming out of my house and discovered the whole Colonia Federal being invaded by police and soldiers,” says Border Council of Arts and Culture founder Luis Ituarte. “I found out …

“Thank heaven for little girls.” — Maurice Chevalier Once I set us up with drinks, a bowl of corn chips, and spinach dip from Trader Joe’s, I hopped onto the couch, crossed my legs, and …

The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones. — Gabirol There are few things that ruffle my fancy feathers more than acts of inconsideration. A shopping cart left stranded close to …

“If I were to build the perfect comedian, it would be Jerry Seinfeld crossed with Dave Chappelle,” says local comedian Mal Hall. “My comedy is observational. I wouldn’t do anything onstage that I think my …

“The vice squad contacted the Bluefoot Bar for our very first session because they saw an ad for it and were, like, ‘We’re going to be watching you,’” says Lily Jackson, emcee for Dr. Sketchy’s …

Just because everything is different doesn’t mean anything has changed. — Irene Peter I’m not the type to mount a soapbox and demand credit for my accomplishments, but in this case, it never could have …

“We normally process and adopt out 45 to 50 dogs a year — this year we have taken in and processed 87 dogs,” says Barbara McNair, president of Pug Rescue of San Diego County. “Most …

I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives. I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him. — Abraham Lincoln Before finalizing …

“Plein air,” says Daryl Millard, owner of the Daryl Millard Gallery Solana Beach, “means painting a scene outdoors in the elements” where one can see, smell, hear, and feel what one is painting. It is …

Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves. — Earl Wilson Six months ago, when I first felt the rippling effects of the subprime mortgage meltdown, I began systematically …

Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution. — Mae West The rain fell in big droplets on the centuries-old cobblestones in Barcelona’s Gothic Quarter. As we searched for shelter, I …

“John McCain is such an easy target,” says Bill Hurd, press secretary for the political satire comedy troupe The Capitol Steps. “He’s the oldest candidate we’ve ever had — therefore you can make all the …