Heymatt: How do I get to be a member of the electoral college? -- Smokeless, the net Good SATs and four years of glee club? No�let's try a $2000 suit, $500 shoes. Plenty of friends …
November 6, 2003
Straight from the Hip
Archived articles
Applying to electoral college
Spit take
Mattski: My impeccably mannered girlfriend from the Far East has one flaw, and it's a doozy. A matter-of-fact throat-clearing operation that punishes like a stealth fighter hitting a cheap window. My nerves being that cheap …
October 23, 2003
Honey, I shrunk the sheep.
MATT!!! We work at Ogden's Dry Cleaners. We spend most of our day cutting things out of the Reader and doing crossword puzzles. We have been very disturbed by this question for a while. We …
October 16, 2003
999-999-9999
MA of Reader: I just got a phone with caller ID. About once a week I get a call from (999) 999-9999. That number never leaves a message, and once when I picked it up, …
October 16, 2003
The truth about cats and dog doo.
Heymatt: Is there a law against owners dumping their dog's waste in other people's trash cans? Most evenings one of my cats gets chased down the street by a dog, while its owner looks on, …
October 16, 2003
Web of mystery...
Hey Matt: This morning I walked out my front door to go to work and I nearly walked into a three-foot-diameter web with a big ugly spider in the middle of it. Somehow this spider …
October 9, 2003
The outhouse moon
Mattie: Why in cartoons do you always see an outhouse with a crescent moon cut in the door? -- Gotta Go, San Diego Well, maybe because there were actual outhouses with crescent moons cut in …
October 9, 2003
Red tide as a beverage
Matt: I recently (like two weeks ago) stated surfing and ended up swallowing a lot of "red tide" water... not that it will keep me from the surf, is it very harmful? I'm fine today …
October 9, 2003
Makin' marshmallows
Hi Matt: Can you explain how they make marshmallows? -- Pat Paul R., the net Oh, of course I can. Did you even have to ask? They melt sugar, then they blow it up. Then …
October 2, 2003
Where's the rest of my news?
Hey Matt: I watch CBS News real early in the morning Monday through Friday. Every morning at exactly 4:28a.m., whatever news story is on gets cut off and a commercial plays. Its been bugging me …
October 2, 2003
Hoover Dam: They really got into their work
Mr. Alice: Are there really dead bodies permanently resting in the concrete of Hoover dam? It is said that workers fell into the wet concrete and couldn't be rescued, so they are still there today. …
October 2, 2003