Matt: Did you ever hear of the Great Boston Molasses Flood, sometime back in the 1920s? Lots of people drowned in a nasty, sticky, slow death. Details, please. -- Tim, not in Boston Just my …
March 24, 2005
Straight from the Hip
Archived articles
The Great Boston Molasses Flood
The inedible olive
Matt: My girlfriend claims that black olives are harvested later than the green olives and that they're actually the ripe form of the olive. I say no. Settle the argument. -- Chris, the net Hate …
March 24, 2005
Curfew? What curfew?
Hey Matt: I've noticed that when the planes begin to take off from the airport at 6:30 a.m., the first plane is always a small propeller commuter plane, which is immediately followed by the big …
March 17, 2005
Shoeless on the freeway
Matt: I don't mean to be morbid, maybe just inappropriate, but over the years I keep hearing of pedestrians being hit by cars who literally fly out of their shoes. I'm not talking about your …
March 10, 2005
It's a pe-nana!
Matt: My boss told me today that kiwi fruit is a genetically engineered fruit crossing a peach with a banana. PUH-lease tell me this is a farce! -- Gretchen, the net Would you rather be …
March 10, 2005
Hare? Rabbit? What's the diff?
Heymatt: What's the difference between a hare and a rabbit? Size? Musical stylings? -- Jay, the net Hair. Hair stylings. Well, actually baby hair. Hares are born with hair, rabbits aren't. Hare babies have their …
March 10, 2005
Urinal agonies
Matt: I cannot urinate with some guy standing next to me at the men's room. I know I'm not the only one. I see others afflicted with this block. On a radio show I heard …
March 10, 2005
Ft. Knox: plenty of tanks, maybe no gold
Hey Matt! How much gold is in Fort Knox? Is it true that it hasn't been physically audited since the Eisenhower administration? Why can't we sell off the gold now and fund Social Security or …
February 24, 2005
Sour Cream and Onion Doritos: just a dream?
Dear Matt: Did Doritos ever have a sour cream and onion flavor? I could swear they had them when I was a kid, green bag and all, but my friends say it never existed. Please …
February 24, 2005
The spit-pee connection
Hey Matt: Why is it that when a man is standing at a urinal urinating, he indulges himself in the urge to expectorate? I do it, I'll bet even you do it! I've seen it …
February 17, 2005
Ups and downs in the queen business
Dear Matt: My boss says that Queen Victoria died by being crushed by a horse in an unusual kind of "riding accidentl" He says she had a stallion rigged up I some kind of a …
February 17, 2005