Hey Matt: I got this email today and am wondering if it is true. Before everyone with a computer receives this, and I start hearing people in taverns repeating it, what's it worth? "In the …
June 2, 2005
Straight from the Hip
Archived articles
A ship full of S.H.I.T.
Please, mingle, it's a Eruv
Hello Matt: Can you explain the source and purpose of the mysterious, barely visible elevated "wire" that runs down the south side of El Cajon Boulevard, from 59th Street to Montezuma? It doesn't appear to …
May 26, 2005
The Otis jump
Matt: My friend insists that if you are in an elevator and the cable breaks and you fall to the ground, you'd be killed. I still can't see why you couldn't jump up at the …
May 26, 2005
Chips and Nuts
Heymatt: Yesterday when I was driving real fast I found a peanut shell that had four individual peanuts it! Crazy huh? Anyway, I tried to explain to the CHP officer why I was speeding (late …
May 19, 2005
A Real Page Turner
Dear Mr. Alice: Why does the pianist have someone to turn pages of music when they perform? I'd think a cellist or trombonist would be in greater need of this help. -- FEH, San Diego …
May 19, 2005
Elitist earlobes
Dear Matthew Alice: My mother had my ears pierced when I was a baby hoping I would be a life-long earring lover. As a kid I just wore little gold balls. As a teen, I …
May 15, 2005
All the scoop on puke
Hey Matt: I understand one throwing up because of too much alcohol or bad food. I do not understand one throwing up because of emotion, like seeing a big pile of dog doo (or worse). …
May 12, 2005
Hats, towels -- everything into the ring
Heymatt: What with this new election for mayor, all the TV stations are talking about so-and-so "throwing his hat in the ring." What does that have to do with running for office? -- Voter, San …
May 12, 2005
The tooth truth
Heymatt: What is the origin of the tooth fairy? When I was a kid I thought the idea was great when I got a quarter. But now that my kids are holding me up for …
April 28, 2005
Floaties vs. sinkies
Hey Matt: While reading a copy of Mad magazine while contemplating life the other day, I quietly exclaimed, "Hmmmmm, I wonder why we sometimes have floaties and sometimes not." Fortunately, the guy in the next …
April 28, 2005
Contact
Mattster: Why does it hurt when I get a speck of dirt in my eye, but when I put my contact lenses in, I don't feel much of anything? -- Eyes T., San Diego The …
April 27, 2005