Dear Sirs: Do spiders bite people on a regular basis? In my short time on planet Earth, I must have heard women complain about "spider bites" 400 or 450 times. Now that I am married …
January 4, 2007
Straight from the Hip
Archived articles
Itchy Women
Year End Quiz 2006
Two thousand six will go down as the year Grandma went on strike for Christmas. Usually she's all wound up planning festive meals, looking for new shiny things to hang on the tree, negotiating bulk …
December 28, 2006
You're Fired!
Hey, Matt: We were all sitting around watching The Apprentice and began wondering, why does Donald Trump say, "You're fired!" Is it like burning at the stake...really fired? -- Pat N. Paul; U.C. library The …
December 21, 2006
Road Testing Your Alibi
Hey, Matt: Which is a tighter seal, "air tight" or "water tight"? -- Bay Park Jay Even the elves -- not always tuned to the usual human-being wavelength -- were a little perplexed by this …
December 21, 2006
He Ain't Pesky, He's My Grandma
Dear Matthew: A while ago I was trying to figure out what to do about a huge ant infestation in my house. I got to thinking that when most people have a house full of …
December 21, 2006
Good Cause for Suspicion
Greetings, Matt: After giving by mail to a couple of good causes, I'm buried with every sort of charity asking for money. I know they have sold my name around, so I always ask them …
December 7, 2006
Where Does the Info Go?
Heymatt: I went to a show recently, and the club had this device to check my ID. They swiped my driver's license, and my age and name were displayed. I told them I didn't want …
November 30, 2006
The Great La Costa Bumper Car Mystery Solved
The Great La Costa Bumper Car Mystery Solved The research elves are out in the solarium toweling off from this marathon caper. They're beat. Grandma Alice is making a batch of Gatorade-tofu-Red Bull smoothies to …
November 30, 2006
Shopper's coma
Dear Matthew Alice: While wandering through department stores this weekend, I saw hundreds of ugly articles of clothing on sale that no one would ever buy at any price, no matter how low. With all …
November 22, 2006
Great La Costa Bumper Car Mystery: Part 2
About a minute and a half after last week's Reader hit the streets, the Alice offices were blitzed with bumper car e-mails, including confirmations of sightings: I followed one down Gopher Canyon. It was going …
November 22, 2006
Power from the People
Dear Matthew Alice: I've often wondered, would it be economically feasible to build an exercise machine that could generate electricity? It seems to me that if all the Exercycles, treadmills, elliptical machines, etc., at our …
November 22, 2006