Diary of a Diva
I’m feeling magnanimous today, so I’m going to give a free word of advice to fledgling information peddlers and fund raisers. Okay, so it’s not actually a word -- it’s an acronym, and one that …
It's my belief that it's only polite to affix an explanatory license plate holder around an ambiguous license plate. If I can't decipher your jumbled, vowel-free catchphrase at a glance, your money has been wasted. …
When I saw “Card Services” on the Caller ID, I assumed spending money on the other side of the country had spooked one of my credit card accounts into thinking there was a possible fraud. …
The deed is done. Last night David and I slept in our new home for the first time. We have moved the bulk of our things from the Egyptian (the name of our old condo …
As with most people who hover over a computer for hours on end, I have my visual vices. Unlike dudes, who probably go straight to the porn sites (I'm not saying I don't, just that …
It’s a common question: “What’s your dad do?” It’s natural for people to inquire after another’s parents, to gather information to assist in making those assessments of others that are in our nature to make. …
“Oh, boy, guess what!” Robert called from his living room throne, a modern recliner on which he is stationed much of the time. Ency, David, and I were in the next room, hunching over a …
The story is as old as Avon. A salesperson slips into your social sphere, and the “social” invitations follow. But these aren’t casual, gather-round-the-teapot chatter fests – they’re nets cast far and wide, for the …
When things go so wrong, when the chasm between expectation and reality reaches such ludicrous depths, the only sane thing left to do is laugh. Hysterically. This is especially easy to do when you realize …
You just can’t trust people. Beneath every bit of apparent altruism, of friendliness and good intentions, under the layers of pretense we spend a lifetime collecting and carefully positioning...we are, each of us, in every …
I looked at the device in my hand and then up at my father. “There’s no picture, it’s just all black,” I said. “I know, I know, it’s just sound. Go on, press play.” He …
Yesterday, I couldn’t seem to keep my eyes dry. It began with the right one. Because my right eye has been leaking on and off for months, I assumed that’s what it was doing -- …
I think David is trying to kill me. If I’m right, he’s a sadistic bastard for choosing such a slow and agonizing method. In a bid to do as much as he can to make …
Sticky faces from melted ice cream, blood-shot eyes from chlorinated water, bathing suit wedgies and waterslide burns – not my idea of a fun way to spend the day, but the imagery does inspire in …
When David and I first moved in together, I deferred to his decorating style, not only because I liked it, but also because I had not really developed any of my own. My apartments had …
I’m embarrassingly terrible about moving. I have very little patience—scratch that, I have no patience. Whereas David will methodically organize items in boxes, tape them up, and label them, I’ll just sweep my arm across …