Diary of a Diva
Do you not see this light blinking?” David squealed, in the same voice he uses when impersonating Vizzini from The Princess Bride, a character best known for the line, “Inconceivable!” “No,” I shrugged. “Phone’s behind …
It was two years ago this month that I sought pharmaceutical assistance for my chronic anxiety. It took awhile to get the dosage right — it was four or five visits before I could talk …
For most of us, death is not a daily affair. Our brains have difficulty processing the idea of our own nonexistence, and our hearts can’t stand considering the possibility of losing a loved one. Unless …
I fished my Evil Hello Kitty bejeweled phone out of my purse, saw my sister’s face on the display, and answered, “Yo, we’re standing outside of Long Island Mike’s waiting for Dad, what are you …
It was shortly after 6 a.m. and still dark outside. Dozens of cars populated the parking lot, but I couldn’t locate any bodies. “There,” I said, when I caught the pink flash of a young …
The invitation read, “black-tie optional.” David opted for black everything — a black silk tie with this black shirt and black suit. “Look, even the dogs are wearing tuxedos,” I said. “Will you hold this …
I was prudent in the selection of my seat. My back was to the window, ensuring I wouldn’t get too warm and could face the room; near the head of the table, at the end …
It felt scandalous, my going to an Oscars party when I’d only seen one of the films nominated for Best Picture. It was a fluke I even saw the one — David and I had …
I swiveled my head back and forth, but mostly down, and tried not to panic. I’d backed myself into a corner, and not in the figurative way. There were dozens of them, and they were …
David and I collected our boarding passes, and took a moment to look them over. “I’m sixty-seven,” David said. “First class. My name’s Isidor Strauss.” “I’m fourteen, third class,” I said. “Name’s Jamila.” We lowered …
David and I have taken to watching ice hockey — David’s always loved the sport, and I’ve learned to appreciate the skill it takes to chase a tiny black disc around a slippery sheet of …
In 2011 I lost my kick-ass condo and went on anti-anxiety meds that — when combined with stress, financial troubles, moving house, and excessive drinking and dining out — left me two sizes larger. As …
People use jargon because they want to sound smart and credible when in fact they sound profoundly dim-witted and typically can’t be understood, which defeats the purpose of speaking in the first place. – Karen …
David and I were waiting for one of the guys behind the desk to find our room reservation on his monitor when his coworker, looking at me, said, “So, are you excited for the game?” …
As soon as the sound of David’s retching began to subside, I rushed into the bathroom to get a quick peek into the bowl beneath his crumpled frame. Before he could sit back on his …
We huddled by the frosted glass door just inside of the entrance to a man’s home we’d met only 15 minutes before. It had been Shawn’s idea to stash us two doors down. Our temporary …