Crasher
A round the time of my ten-year high school reunion, two movies about reunions came out (Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion and Grosse Pointe Blank). I always thought writing about a reunion would be …
Most of these guys are stationed at Miramar. A few were from Camp Pendleton. "Most of us were at El Toro, and that's where these parties used to be. A few people are here from Yuma, too."
Someone asked me my favorite playwright. I said, "Arthur Miller." In reality, I only know three of his plays. One of the guys started to talk about a Miller play I didn't know. I nodded my head knowingly.
"They told us if we have over 75 people, we would be fined $300 since we didn't get a permit. I pointed to those benches over there and said that was a different party, even though it's not.”
I wanted to chat with the best dancer I saw. He was a dead ringer for George Hamilton with whiter hair. I saw him dancing with two different women at various times. The women had the biggest smiles.
When I heard another guy talking about smacking his girl around if she "don't listen to what I say," it made me wonder if theme parties have problems with guys who "stay in character" too long.
I told Mike that when I saw him out front, I couldn't decide if he looked more like Kevin Bacon or Bart Simpson. He said, "Damn, I was going for the Ryan Seacrest look.”
McCaffrey grabbed a camcorder and asked me to state that, if anything happened to me, he wasn't liable. "Do you want the one-day waiver, or the life-time?" I made some joke about my calling my lawyer first.
Sure enough, there were two parties going on. I walked into 214, and it was a room that looked to be only 12' by 12' with about 50 people in it. And they were playing volleyball.
Jim's wife brought a bunch of deviled eggs, and I asked Jim how many of those Paul Newman would be able to eat. "I think 84. Wasn't it 42 eggs he ate [in Cool Hand Luke]?"
And, along with the same refrigerator Richard has been trying to dump as a grand prize, this year he put a $50 gift certificate inside it to tempt the winner into taking it.
One girl who looked like k.d. lang kept apologizing to a guy. She said, "Maybe next time I'll drink water instead of alcohol." Later I saw her run and tackle somebody in the grass.
One guy showed up in his outfit, complaining about the traffic on the 805. I would love to have seen the other drivers' faces as he went by. Do they take you seriously with that face?
Hans came into the kitchen and screamed for everyone to be quiet. He then said, "I just found out there was a fight out front. If there's another one. I'm kicking everybody out!"
When the band played a Beat Farmers song, Steve said, "Country Dick Montana [the Beat Farmer who died onstage] spilled beer on me once." I replied, "Who hasn't had beer spilled on them by Dick?"
"You better go get your Glock" — a type of gun, I shouted over there, "Are you guys gonna go whack somebody? That would make this a real authentic Sopranos party."