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Movie Review: LOVE HURTS (2025)

Ke Huy Quan and Ariana DeBose make something painful out of being in love.
Ke Huy Quan and Ariana DeBose make something painful out of being in love.

LOVE HURTS (2025) Jonathan Eusebio. Writers: Matthew Murray, Josh Stoddard, and Luke Passmore / Photographer: Bridger Nielson / Music: Dominic Lewis / Design: Craig Sandells / Cast: Ke Huy Quan, Ariana DeBose, Mustafa Shakir, Analeigh Tipton, Daniel Wu, Cam Gigandet, Marshawn Lynch, André Eriksen, Sean Astin, and Stephanie Sy / Distributor: Universal / Rated R / 83 mins.

It’s Valentine’s Day in Milwaukee. If you need a joke beyond that, how about the notion that Marvin Gable (Ke Huy Quan) — a nebbish real estate agent who substitutes “fudge” for the f-word and starts his day baking heart-shaped cookies for potential buyers — is secretly a retired assassin? As is the case with all too many contemporary action comedies, the high concept yields low results and even fewer laughs. 

In his first time behind the camera, stunt coordinator Jonathan Eusebio predictably confuses incomprehensibly choreographed martial arts with narrative logic, and the result is a jumbled excuse for punching and kicking. A loud fist fight in the middle of a crowded office goes unheard by the dozen people standing within a few feet of the door.  Eusebio opts for a comedy of indestructibility; a Road Runner cartoon lacking in both wit and timing. Rather than making pain a running gag, Marv stoically spends a chunk of the film nursing a gaping knife wound in his right hand.

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And who in the brain trust at Universal thought charming Ke Huy Quan (Everything Everywhere All at Once) and a woefully miscast Ariana DeBose (West Side Story) had the makings of a romantic duo? Lily Tomlin and John Travolta had more chemistry in Moment by Moment than this unlikely coupling. The action moves at an incomprehensible clip, with Quan using his recent Best Supporting Actor Oscar as a springboard to shit. One wonders what Jackie Chan would have done with this material 30 years ago. Taken a pass, I’m guessing. 2025. 0



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Ke Huy Quan and Ariana DeBose make something painful out of being in love.
Ke Huy Quan and Ariana DeBose make something painful out of being in love.

LOVE HURTS (2025) Jonathan Eusebio. Writers: Matthew Murray, Josh Stoddard, and Luke Passmore / Photographer: Bridger Nielson / Music: Dominic Lewis / Design: Craig Sandells / Cast: Ke Huy Quan, Ariana DeBose, Mustafa Shakir, Analeigh Tipton, Daniel Wu, Cam Gigandet, Marshawn Lynch, André Eriksen, Sean Astin, and Stephanie Sy / Distributor: Universal / Rated R / 83 mins.

It’s Valentine’s Day in Milwaukee. If you need a joke beyond that, how about the notion that Marvin Gable (Ke Huy Quan) — a nebbish real estate agent who substitutes “fudge” for the f-word and starts his day baking heart-shaped cookies for potential buyers — is secretly a retired assassin? As is the case with all too many contemporary action comedies, the high concept yields low results and even fewer laughs. 

In his first time behind the camera, stunt coordinator Jonathan Eusebio predictably confuses incomprehensibly choreographed martial arts with narrative logic, and the result is a jumbled excuse for punching and kicking. A loud fist fight in the middle of a crowded office goes unheard by the dozen people standing within a few feet of the door.  Eusebio opts for a comedy of indestructibility; a Road Runner cartoon lacking in both wit and timing. Rather than making pain a running gag, Marv stoically spends a chunk of the film nursing a gaping knife wound in his right hand.

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And who in the brain trust at Universal thought charming Ke Huy Quan (Everything Everywhere All at Once) and a woefully miscast Ariana DeBose (West Side Story) had the makings of a romantic duo? Lily Tomlin and John Travolta had more chemistry in Moment by Moment than this unlikely coupling. The action moves at an incomprehensible clip, with Quan using his recent Best Supporting Actor Oscar as a springboard to shit. One wonders what Jackie Chan would have done with this material 30 years ago. Taken a pass, I’m guessing. 2025. 0



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