Fletcher: “I mean, the other night, CNN had both former New Yorker writer Jeffrey Toobin and former Senator Al Franken on there, stumping for Harris. Toobin lost his gig for masturbating while on a Zoom call with co-workers, and I’m sure you all remember that photo of Franken where he’s got his hand like this, right above that sleeping female service member’s chest… After my own difficulties with sexual impropriety, I realized the Democratic party just wasn’t a healthy environment for me to be in.”

Last week, it was revealed that Grecia Figueroa, the San Diego woman who accused Nathan Fletcher of sexual misconduct, sent texts to her friend that cast a different, more positive light on their encounters. It was the first good political news for the former County Supervisor since he resigned office and went to rehab, and yesterday, he took the opportunity to announce his return to politics — as a Republican. “Look,” he said by way of explanation, “someone who isn’t a partisan hack just has to say it: Democrats have a sex problem. Yeah, yeah, Donald Trump said he grabs ladies by the pussy, and he’s been found liable for sexual abuse. But the fact is, it doesn’t seem to be hurting him in the polls. Meanwhile, there’s a good case to be made that he got to be President only because Democratic politico Anthony Wiener’s sexting scandal blew up Hilary Clinton’s campaign after emails between Hilary and Wiener’s wife Huma Abedin were found on his computer. Closer to home, Gavin Newsom boinked his aide’s wife, and you can bet you’ll be hearing more about that if he runs for President in 2028. Bob Filner was turning out to be the first really progressive mayor San Diego’s ever had, and then we learned about the Filner Headlock. In the state legislature, you had Raul Bocanegra and Tony Mendoza. And then of course, you had me. The future of the California Democratic Party, on my way to the state Senate and from there… Anyway, the polls don’t lie: even if I can beat the sexual assault charges, I’m dunzo with the Dems. You don’t cheat on the President of the California Labor Federation and get away with it. But if there’s anything that my political career has taught me, it’s that changing parties doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It’s worked for me before!”