66 Diner: It’s new, but it’s retro

Somehow, not being in America, this place feels all the more American. I’m in a diner,, and it feels like a kind of informal American embassy here in Christchurch, New Zealand.

We’re in deepest midwinter here, with winds off the snow-covered Southern Alps that would send shivers through the devil himself.) I wanted to find out how New Zealand’s take on Americana would taste, and I’ve come searching through the morning chill — temperature, minus 4 Centigrade, 24.8 Fahrenheit — to see if I can roust out a gen-U-wine American-style diner somewhere in this town. And here it suddenly is, shining in the crackling morning sunshine. I’m looking at the Stars and Stripes, and the old-fashioned shield with the words that say it all: “Diner 66, Breakfast, Burgers, Sandwiches, Shakes.” And right there on the wall, the list of those United States through which Route 66 runs.

I swing open the doors stroll into the — aaah — warmth. Black and white linotile floor, red and white banquettes, signs for tuna melts, milkshakes and cheeseburgers, and — hey! — a drip coffee urn. You never see those in this country. Plus I’m hearing Dion wailing “Runaround Sue” from 1961. She’ll love you and she’ll put you down! Like most of the music playing here, Dion’s into doo-wop. On the walls, 45 rpm records surround a tall, ‘50s-style Standard Oil gas pump.

Rosalie brings my brekky of nachos, waffle

“Counter or table?” asks Rosalie the waitress. Place is just starting to fill, so I go swing into a counter seat. Rosalie loads me up with menus, and brings me what I’ve been secretly longing for ever since I landed: a simple drip coffee. (And here, it’s bottomless! Costs NZ$4.90, say US$3.) The cold has made me hongry, and hongry for hot stuff. Hmm. Lessee. I could just start at the top: go for the NZ$26 (US$16) Big Breakfast (two eggs, bacon, breakfast sausages, grilled tomato, hash browns, toast, plus for NZ$5 extra, two pancakes and maple syrup). Sounds pretty Californian to me. Very tempting. Or a Benny Special (Eggs Benedict), which is US$14; or the All-American Omelet (with frankfurter, cheese and onion), US$14; or a stack of pancakes, waffles, or French toast with two extras like banana, bacon, fried chicken, berries, or caramel or chocolate sauce, also US$14.

The prices are not bad. Bit cheaper than San Diego, I reckon. But I decide to go for something I spot late: I manage to avoid all the burgers (US$15), sandwiches ($15 with fries and slaw), ribs ($15), and hot dogs with fries and slaw ($13). But I do let myself get tempted by the $13 Tex-Mex choices: you choose between nacho chips, fries, or quesadilla, topped by guac, salsa and sour cream. And with your choice of ground beef (plus beans and cheese), or chicken (jalapeños and cheese), or Mexican beans (and grilled cheese, the vegetarian choice), or vegan (with Mexican bean mix, Angel Bay cheese, and no sour cream). I have to ask Rosalie what she reckons. “Curly fries, every time,” she says. “And unless you want veggie or vegan, go for the beef. It just tastes great with the salsa and the curlies. More coffee?”

Oh yes. Love the warm-up. While I’m looking, I notice they have “the Route 66 pile-up,” for people who can’t decide on other stuff. It’s basically buttermilk fried chicken, onion rings, mac and cheese, and jalapeño poppers, with ranch and chipotle. Costs about $12. So yeah, they really have gone the whole hog on Americana food.

“We have lots of kids come for their birthday parties,” says Rosalie. “They love the Tex-Mex thing. It’s so different from Kiwi food.” Me too. When my nachos come, with their ground beef, fries, guac, salsa and sour cream, oh man. It zings me straight back to ’Diego, and our whole wonderful mash-up of cultures that makes both food and life so rich. You forget how lucky we are to be swirling in this sea of flavors, and the feeling of being part of something bigger and so full of color and life.

Whale fantasy from Route 66 makes it onto souvenir wall

But I have to say, Rosalie and her crew have nailed it here. At a good price, too. “The owners are Kiwis, but they love America,” she says. “They traveled the length of Route 66. That’s where they got the idea for this. About eight years ago.”

Mrs. Brown you’ve got a lovely daughter, sings Peter Noone of Herman’s Hermits out of 1965.

So how real-deal is this wannabe American and Tex-Mex food, so far from its home? Fact is, they have eight different burgers, each claiming to represent one of the states Route 66 runs through. “This is where we sometimes get complaints,” says Rosalie. “We had this gentleman from Missouri who said ours was nothing like what he gets back home.” The Missouri burger ($15) has no meat, but features hash browns, fried egg, tomato, lettuce and BBQ sauce. It suffers in comparison with the Kansas Burger’s beef, bacon, cheese, pickles, onion, mayo, mustard and ketchup. Or the California, with double beef, double cheese, three-cheese sauce, red onion, pickles and ketchup. But, with cole slaw and fries, they all look pretty filling. “And most people don’t get particular. They enjoy having this experience right here in Christchurch.”

Me, I’m full. Pity, because I had my eye on one of those Pizookies they offer (a large chocolate chip cookie, I think, with ice cream on top. Costs $14.) But whatever, today’s mission accomplished: now I have my new little American Embassy as a go-to when I’m missing ’Diego. Things look hunky-dory. ■

The Place: Route 66, Classic American Diner, 88 Victoria Street, Christchurch, New Zealand, +64 3 741-4622

Hours: 8.00am - 9pm daily, closed Monday

Prices: Big Breakfast (two eggs, bacon, breakfast sausages, grilled tomato, hash browns, toast (all prices in US$) $16; add two pancakes, maple syrup, $3 extra); Benny Special (Eggs Benedict), $14; All-American Omelet (with frankfurter, cheese and onion), $14; stack of pancakes, waffles, or French toast with two extras like banana, bacon, fried chicken, berries, or caramel or chocolate sauce, $14; all burgers, $16; sandwiches, $15 with fries and slaw; ribs, $16; hot dogs with fries and slaw, $13; Tex-Mex choices, $13; nacho chips, fries, or quesadilla, topped by guac, salsa and sour cream, $13; vegan nachos (beans, cheese only), $13: Route 66 Pile-Up (chicken, onion rings, mac and cheese, jalapeño poppers, ranch, chipotle, $12

Buses: 8, 29

Nearest Bus Stop: Park Terrace near Peterborough Street