Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Biden bumps up building on wall in wake of puppet’s border visit

Mal Amal?

A terrified President Biden struggled to contain his panic as he greets “Little Amal” through the border fence outside Tijuana. “What do you mean, ‘little’?” he asked. “She’s huge! If we don’t destroy her before he reaches adulthood, our defenses will be useless!”
A terrified President Biden struggled to contain his panic as he greets “Little Amal” through the border fence outside Tijuana. “What do you mean, ‘little’?” he asked. “She’s huge! If we don’t destroy her before he reaches adulthood, our defenses will be useless!”

“Little Amal” is a 12-foot puppet of a Syrian girl who has been traveling the world in an effort to raise awareness of the plight of refugees all over the world. And her arrival at the border fence between San Diego County and Tijuana was supposed to provide a powerful photo op for President Biden, who planned to welcome her into the United States as a sign of his administration’s commitment to welcoming immigrants. “Unfortunately,” says spokesman Reggie Spindock, “the President hasn’t been sleeping well of late, and has taken to watching movies in the wee hours. You will recall that he got fired up about AI after seeing Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning: Part 1, and seeing the damage that a rogue AI might inflict. Suddenly, we were seeing Executive Orders designed to guide AI creators in both development and implementation. A tricky business. And then, right before the meeting with Little Amal, he somehow started in watching Attack on Titan, in which murderous, man-eating giants attack humanity and are kept at bay by enormous walls. It…wasn’t helpful.” Spindock went on to stress that the President’s staff would be keeping a close eye on his late-night viewing habits going forward, lest he misunderstand the satiric nature of Starship Troopers.

Sponsored
Sponsored
Biden: “We must learn from the Eldians. We must build the wall better, higher, stronger. America must not fall to the Titan threat.”


The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Laurence Juber, Train Song Festival, Ancient Echoes: 10,000 Years of Beer

Events November 8-November 9, 2024
A terrified President Biden struggled to contain his panic as he greets “Little Amal” through the border fence outside Tijuana. “What do you mean, ‘little’?” he asked. “She’s huge! If we don’t destroy her before he reaches adulthood, our defenses will be useless!”
A terrified President Biden struggled to contain his panic as he greets “Little Amal” through the border fence outside Tijuana. “What do you mean, ‘little’?” he asked. “She’s huge! If we don’t destroy her before he reaches adulthood, our defenses will be useless!”

“Little Amal” is a 12-foot puppet of a Syrian girl who has been traveling the world in an effort to raise awareness of the plight of refugees all over the world. And her arrival at the border fence between San Diego County and Tijuana was supposed to provide a powerful photo op for President Biden, who planned to welcome her into the United States as a sign of his administration’s commitment to welcoming immigrants. “Unfortunately,” says spokesman Reggie Spindock, “the President hasn’t been sleeping well of late, and has taken to watching movies in the wee hours. You will recall that he got fired up about AI after seeing Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning: Part 1, and seeing the damage that a rogue AI might inflict. Suddenly, we were seeing Executive Orders designed to guide AI creators in both development and implementation. A tricky business. And then, right before the meeting with Little Amal, he somehow started in watching Attack on Titan, in which murderous, man-eating giants attack humanity and are kept at bay by enormous walls. It…wasn’t helpful.” Spindock went on to stress that the President’s staff would be keeping a close eye on his late-night viewing habits going forward, lest he misunderstand the satiric nature of Starship Troopers.

Sponsored
Sponsored
Biden: “We must learn from the Eldians. We must build the wall better, higher, stronger. America must not fall to the Titan threat.”


Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Laurence Juber, Train Song Festival, Ancient Echoes: 10,000 Years of Beer

Events November 8-November 9, 2024
Next Article

Pranksters vandalize Padres billboard in wake of playoff loss

Where’s the bat at?
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader