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Who’s Your Padre?

Baseball team adopts new name, mascot for Pride Month

Fantabulous on the new mascot: “He’s into swinging, but he ain’t no friar!”
Fantabulous on the new mascot: “He’s into swinging, but he ain’t no friar!”

The San Diego Padres announced today that, following his controversial remarks regarding the Los Angeles Dodgers’ welcoming of the Sisters of Indulgence at their annual Pride Day festivities, the Swinging Friar mascot would be placed on a Pride Month suspension, and that the team’s name would be temporarily changed from the Padres to the Daddies. “Daddies hold a special place in the LGBTQIA+ community’s history,” says team spokesman Sam Spinny. “We’re proud to honor them as we seek to make amends.”

Local Catholics were quick to object, but according to area Daddy Ron Fantabulous, “Really, it’s not that big a deal. It’s not so much a change of mascot as it is a change of connotation. ‘Padres’ translates to ‘Fathers,’ which is just another way of saying ‘Daddies.’ The term indicates power and authority, and in the particular case of the Franciscan Padres, a bold spirit of exploration. All that applies equally well to the Hillcrest Daddies. And given what we know about the Catholic Church in America over the past 50 years, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if a few of those Padres were Daddies themselves. Anyway, we’re thrilled at the Padres’ response to the Swinging Friar’s hateful invective. Now, if we can just do something about those tacky brown uniforms!”

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Fantabulous on the new mascot: “He’s into swinging, but he ain’t no friar!”
Fantabulous on the new mascot: “He’s into swinging, but he ain’t no friar!”

The San Diego Padres announced today that, following his controversial remarks regarding the Los Angeles Dodgers’ welcoming of the Sisters of Indulgence at their annual Pride Day festivities, the Swinging Friar mascot would be placed on a Pride Month suspension, and that the team’s name would be temporarily changed from the Padres to the Daddies. “Daddies hold a special place in the LGBTQIA+ community’s history,” says team spokesman Sam Spinny. “We’re proud to honor them as we seek to make amends.”

Local Catholics were quick to object, but according to area Daddy Ron Fantabulous, “Really, it’s not that big a deal. It’s not so much a change of mascot as it is a change of connotation. ‘Padres’ translates to ‘Fathers,’ which is just another way of saying ‘Daddies.’ The term indicates power and authority, and in the particular case of the Franciscan Padres, a bold spirit of exploration. All that applies equally well to the Hillcrest Daddies. And given what we know about the Catholic Church in America over the past 50 years, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if a few of those Padres were Daddies themselves. Anyway, we’re thrilled at the Padres’ response to the Swinging Friar’s hateful invective. Now, if we can just do something about those tacky brown uniforms!”

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