Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

The moment you first heard about Panda Express releasing an Orange Chicken Sandwich

“Yes, this is indeed a thing”

Need. Not want. Need.
Need. Not want. Need.

Dear Hipster:

Here’s a bit of a hipster paradox that, at least in my opinion, requires a little unpacking. I would be a rich man if I got a nickel every time some random hipster waxed rhapsodic about White Castle sliders, B-movies, reality TV, ugly fashions, bad music, or monster trucks. Now, I know what you’re thinking: they’re being ironic. Wrong. These are genuine expressions of admiration I am thinking of here, even if they’re aimed at the most unadmirable subjects. Given that hipsters tend to be more educated and cosmopolitan than the average citizen, why are hipsters so obsessed with trashy stuff?

Sponsored
Sponsored

— Matt

If you’re a hipster, the moment you first hear about Panda Express releasing an Orange Chicken Sandwich to select test markets, you realize you need it. It is not a transcendental need (like breathing), because before you learned of its existence, you probably did not you understand how badly you needed it. But as soon as you realized ‘Yes, this is indeed a thing,’ you knew it was something you needed. In fact, I have to apologize to all the people for whom this announcement will come as welcome news. I am sorry for awakening your need. And when I say that, I truly mean “need” in the literal sense, not “need” as a hyperbolic expression of garden-variety “want.”

You want the weather to be nice tomorrow. You want another beer. You want the one sports team to defeat the other sports team at the sports event (go team!). What you feel about the Orange Chicken Sandwich is deeper, more instinctive, and less capable of being rationalized. It’s a yearning sustained by the knowledge that, should you fail to acquire the Orange Chicken Sandwich, there will be a void in your life that will never be filled. You need the Orange Chicken Sandwich. You need it the way Elon Musk needs middle-class white people to like his tweets. You are nothing without the Orange Chicken Sandwich.

And you need it because it is oh-so-trashy. If you stop to think about it, an Orange Chicken Sandwich from Panda Express is simultaneously everything bad and good about the world, but on a roll. Although it is in many ways an example of layered bastardization that collects the worst aspects of its constituent parts into one fever dream of cholesterol and hyperglycemia, this monstrosity of grease and sugar manages to represent something magnificent at the same time. It physically embodies a set of human impulses at once terrible and banal, and its existence mocks the very notion of high culture. Accordingly, the hipster must have it, and not strictly for ironic purposes.

The connection you have to something low and trashy can be simpler and more direct — perhaps ultimately more pure and genuine — than the cerebral connection we make with that which belongs more properly to high culture. In a word, it’s more authentic, and this is why hipsters are drawn to stuff that might be considered “trashy.” There is a kind of hardcore realness (as opposed to reality, which is not the same thing) that is inversely proportional to fanciness, and that kind of authenticity is, at least for hipsters, about as addictive as fatty, salty meat slathered in sugar sauce.

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Mary Catherine Swanson wants every San Diego student going to college

Where busing from Southeast San Diego to University City has led
Need. Not want. Need.
Need. Not want. Need.

Dear Hipster:

Here’s a bit of a hipster paradox that, at least in my opinion, requires a little unpacking. I would be a rich man if I got a nickel every time some random hipster waxed rhapsodic about White Castle sliders, B-movies, reality TV, ugly fashions, bad music, or monster trucks. Now, I know what you’re thinking: they’re being ironic. Wrong. These are genuine expressions of admiration I am thinking of here, even if they’re aimed at the most unadmirable subjects. Given that hipsters tend to be more educated and cosmopolitan than the average citizen, why are hipsters so obsessed with trashy stuff?

Sponsored
Sponsored

— Matt

If you’re a hipster, the moment you first hear about Panda Express releasing an Orange Chicken Sandwich to select test markets, you realize you need it. It is not a transcendental need (like breathing), because before you learned of its existence, you probably did not you understand how badly you needed it. But as soon as you realized ‘Yes, this is indeed a thing,’ you knew it was something you needed. In fact, I have to apologize to all the people for whom this announcement will come as welcome news. I am sorry for awakening your need. And when I say that, I truly mean “need” in the literal sense, not “need” as a hyperbolic expression of garden-variety “want.”

You want the weather to be nice tomorrow. You want another beer. You want the one sports team to defeat the other sports team at the sports event (go team!). What you feel about the Orange Chicken Sandwich is deeper, more instinctive, and less capable of being rationalized. It’s a yearning sustained by the knowledge that, should you fail to acquire the Orange Chicken Sandwich, there will be a void in your life that will never be filled. You need the Orange Chicken Sandwich. You need it the way Elon Musk needs middle-class white people to like his tweets. You are nothing without the Orange Chicken Sandwich.

And you need it because it is oh-so-trashy. If you stop to think about it, an Orange Chicken Sandwich from Panda Express is simultaneously everything bad and good about the world, but on a roll. Although it is in many ways an example of layered bastardization that collects the worst aspects of its constituent parts into one fever dream of cholesterol and hyperglycemia, this monstrosity of grease and sugar manages to represent something magnificent at the same time. It physically embodies a set of human impulses at once terrible and banal, and its existence mocks the very notion of high culture. Accordingly, the hipster must have it, and not strictly for ironic purposes.

The connection you have to something low and trashy can be simpler and more direct — perhaps ultimately more pure and genuine — than the cerebral connection we make with that which belongs more properly to high culture. In a word, it’s more authentic, and this is why hipsters are drawn to stuff that might be considered “trashy.” There is a kind of hardcore realness (as opposed to reality, which is not the same thing) that is inversely proportional to fanciness, and that kind of authenticity is, at least for hipsters, about as addictive as fatty, salty meat slathered in sugar sauce.

Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Big kited bluefin on the Red Rooster III

Lake fishing heating up as the weather cools
Next Article

San Diego beaches not that nice to dogs

Bacteria and seawater itself not that great
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader