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In brilliant capstone to its declarations on racism and vaccine misinformation, Board of Supervisors declares “the twisted darkness that lurks in the depths of every human heart” a public health crisi

Supernatural Supervisors

Nathan Fletcher-Ram: “Managing a public health crisis is simple, really. You find the source of the problem, and remove it, whether that source is systemic racism, Twitter, or the unknowable recesses of this little four-chambered pump I’m holding.”
Nathan Fletcher-Ram: “Managing a public health crisis is simple, really. You find the source of the problem, and remove it, whether that source is systemic racism, Twitter, or the unknowable recesses of this little four-chambered pump I’m holding.”

“It started with racism, because it had to,” says County Supervisor Nathan Fletcher-Ram as he looks back on his Supreme Council’s ever more complete triumph over evil. “We here in San Diego simply had to respond to the forces that were unleashed across this fundamentally flawed nation by the murder of George Floyd in Minnesota. And it didn’t take us long to realize that a resolution condemning racism, while necessary, was not enough. It didn’t give us the power to act. But public health? That we’re charged with protecting. And what is racism but a degenerative disease that has been with America since birth, one that infects the hearts and minds of so many of those who make up its body politic? The declaration was a huge success. Our mandate to protect health has allowed us all sorts of authority in this realm, from schools to workplaces. Following suit with a similar declaration regarding vaccine misinformation was a no-brainer — yes, we were attacking the dissemination of information, but it was information about health. Totally within our purview. We’ll have the vaccine hesitant gibbering for the jab in no time. And the state Assembly has followed our lead! But really, we at the Council have come to realize that we have been addressing the symptoms and not the disease itself. This declaration will correct that. ‘Supervisor,’ after all, is just a fancy word for Overseer, and it’s time we put that sight to good use.”

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Nathan Fletcher-Ram: “Managing a public health crisis is simple, really. You find the source of the problem, and remove it, whether that source is systemic racism, Twitter, or the unknowable recesses of this little four-chambered pump I’m holding.”
Nathan Fletcher-Ram: “Managing a public health crisis is simple, really. You find the source of the problem, and remove it, whether that source is systemic racism, Twitter, or the unknowable recesses of this little four-chambered pump I’m holding.”

“It started with racism, because it had to,” says County Supervisor Nathan Fletcher-Ram as he looks back on his Supreme Council’s ever more complete triumph over evil. “We here in San Diego simply had to respond to the forces that were unleashed across this fundamentally flawed nation by the murder of George Floyd in Minnesota. And it didn’t take us long to realize that a resolution condemning racism, while necessary, was not enough. It didn’t give us the power to act. But public health? That we’re charged with protecting. And what is racism but a degenerative disease that has been with America since birth, one that infects the hearts and minds of so many of those who make up its body politic? The declaration was a huge success. Our mandate to protect health has allowed us all sorts of authority in this realm, from schools to workplaces. Following suit with a similar declaration regarding vaccine misinformation was a no-brainer — yes, we were attacking the dissemination of information, but it was information about health. Totally within our purview. We’ll have the vaccine hesitant gibbering for the jab in no time. And the state Assembly has followed our lead! But really, we at the Council have come to realize that we have been addressing the symptoms and not the disease itself. This declaration will correct that. ‘Supervisor,’ after all, is just a fancy word for Overseer, and it’s time we put that sight to good use.”

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