As coronavirus cases continued to drop and California lifted its manifold restrictions on the life of its citizens, San Diego Public Health Officer Wilma Wooten took the opportunity to remind her people that “Governor Newsom has declared California re-opened as of June 15, but Newsom is only a man. He deals in the laws made by men. He does not control The Science; The Science is my domain. And The Science says the pandemic is not over. For it if were over, then mortals might cease to live in fear. And if they ceased to live in fear, they might cease their obeisance to the Science Gods. And woe unto them if that fell doom ever came to pass. Have they forgotten so quickly the great plague that ravaged this state, and how they were delivered from that plague by careful attendance to The Science? Do they not know that even now, the unclean unbelievers walk among them, ignoring our commands and spreading their foul contagion throughout the land? Harken unto Wooten when she tells you that you are not yet delivered from your affliction, no matter what the smiling Gavin declares. For he is a follower of Woki, the god of mischief, and seeks only his own benefit, setting you free to gambol and play so that you will not Recall his past misdeeds. Wear a mask at mega-events, even if you are vaccinated. For by this pious act you will show that you are a follower of The Science, and not one of the wicked who reject our counsel. And wear one at the grocery store, if it makes you comfortable, for by such holy habits you have honored The Science and pleased me lo these many months, and so should not too readily put them aside. I have spoken.”
As coronavirus cases continued to drop and California lifted its manifold restrictions on the life of its citizens, San Diego Public Health Officer Wilma Wooten took the opportunity to remind her people that “Governor Newsom has declared California re-opened as of June 15, but Newsom is only a man. He deals in the laws made by men. He does not control The Science; The Science is my domain. And The Science says the pandemic is not over. For it if were over, then mortals might cease to live in fear. And if they ceased to live in fear, they might cease their obeisance to the Science Gods. And woe unto them if that fell doom ever came to pass. Have they forgotten so quickly the great plague that ravaged this state, and how they were delivered from that plague by careful attendance to The Science? Do they not know that even now, the unclean unbelievers walk among them, ignoring our commands and spreading their foul contagion throughout the land? Harken unto Wooten when she tells you that you are not yet delivered from your affliction, no matter what the smiling Gavin declares. For he is a follower of Woki, the god of mischief, and seeks only his own benefit, setting you free to gambol and play so that you will not Recall his past misdeeds. Wear a mask at mega-events, even if you are vaccinated. For by this pious act you will show that you are a follower of The Science, and not one of the wicked who reject our counsel. And wear one at the grocery store, if it makes you comfortable, for by such holy habits you have honored The Science and pleased me lo these many months, and so should not too readily put them aside. I have spoken.”
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