Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

San Diego's real census

Oceanside harbor, pier, La Jolla, Little Italy, Ocean Beach, La Mesa, Scripps Ranch

San Diego - Scripps Ranch – Lake Miramar main parking lot, 1:30 pm – 2:30 pm: Geese within 100 yards: 3
San Diego - Scripps Ranch – Lake Miramar main parking lot, 1:30 pm – 2:30 pm: Geese within 100 yards: 3

It’s been a hell of a year, and it’s not over yet. First, in San Diego County as elsewhere in these Divided States, we’ve been treated to a masquerade ball, courtesy of a generous host. Whether one calls it by the bureaucratic “covid-19,” the generic “pandemic,” the conspiracy theorist’s “plandemic,” or the flippant “Kung Flu,” it’s been on the minds and mugs of locals.

A grim interlude in the masked ball was supplied by Antifa and BLM who raged in the region, albeit somewhat mildly (outside of poor La Mesa.) And let’s not forget the election season, which blew over us like a desert wind to fan the flames of our incivility. How long will it take for that fire to burn out?

But the 2020 Census must go on. So from a safe six feet away, I present to you these unofficial, unscientific, and unnecessary findings:

  • Friday, August 20, Solana Beach, 926 Santa Florencia Street, noon to 1 pm: the estate sale of one Dick Ellison.
  • Vintage baseball gloves: 4
  • Prospective buyers: 50 or so
  • Prospective buyers wearing masks: 7
  • Men with canes and a noticeable limp: 1
  • SUVs parked within 50 yards: 9
  • Homes at this address recently sold for approximately $1.7 million: 1
  • Northbound semitrucks on the 5 freeway, as seen from the back yard between 12:36 and 12:37: 4
  • Southbound semitrucks on the 5 freeway, as seen from the back yard between 12:36 and 12:37: 7
  • Cheesy porcelain angel figurines: 4
  • Baseball and softball trophies: 35
  • Baseball and softball trophies with geode bases: 2
  • Commemorative JFK drinking glasses: 7
  • Glass tumblers inscribed with “The Copley Newspapers: The Ring of Truth”: 1
  • Del Mar, 2 pm - Del Mar Race Track, race post time
  • Horse owners, trainers and assistant trainers, jockeys, starter and assistant starters, pony riders, track maintenance workers, stewards, a veterinarian, an ambulance driver, a bugle player, and a farrier: about 100
  • Paying spectators in the stands: 0
  • Oceanside, Highway 101, 2:45 pm
  • 2020 Census banners: 1
  • Iron bars over windows at Beachwood Motel: over three dozen
  • Oceanside Harbor, 3:10 pm
  • Men wearing pink socks and fedoras: 1
  • Dogs pissing on palm trees: 1
  • Men on skateboards smoking cigarettes while wearing long pants and jackets: 1
  • Boats flying “Don’t Tread On Me” flags: 2
  • Boats flying pirate flags: 1
  • Boats flying multi-colored peace symbol flags: 1
Oceanside Pier, 3:15 pm: People on the pier, including outdoor diners: 177
  • Oceanside Pier, 3:15 pm onward
  • People on the pier, including outdoor diners: 177
  • Wearing masks: 68
  • Not wearing masks: 109
  • Anglers: 73
  • Unmasked, tattooed young men walking pit bulls: 1
  • Identical twins: 1 set
  • Small fish schooling by the side of the pier: innumerable
  • Hungry pelicans above school of fish: 6
  • Jet skiers west of the pier: 2
  • Great white sharks sighted (second-hand report): 1
  • Announcements by lifeguards ordering non-surfers to exit the water: 2
  • Number of times I’ve visited the Oceanside Pier since moving to San Diego in 1981: 1
  • Southbound 5 near Cannon Road (La Costa), 5:00 – 5:05 pm
  • Cars bearing “student driver” placards: 1
  • Ostensible student drivers without placards on car: impossible to determine
  • Pickup trucks with Baja plates and overhead racks overstuffed with used furniture and appliances: 1
Cardiff strip mall at San Elijo Avenue and Liverpool Drive, 1:45 pm: Surly, heavily-tattooed clerks in Mar Vista Liquor: 1
  • Monday, August 31 - Cardiff strip mall at San Elijo Avenue and Liverpool Drive, 1:45 pm
  • Retail establishments with restrooms closed to the public: 3+
  • Surly, heavily-tattooed clerks in Mar Vista Liquor: 1
  • Liquor store patrons with masks: 0
  • Surly liquor store patrons walking cute French bulldogs: 1
  • Floor stickers in Lourdes Mexican Restaurant reading “Stay Away”: 7
  • Cardiff - Chesterfield/San Elijo intersection, 2:17 pm
  • Inconsiderate drivers: lost count
  • Carlsbad - Island Way/Carlsbad Boulevard, 2:40 pm
  • Middle-aged men on bikes running red lights: 1
  • Friday, September 11, Normal Heights, 11:45 am – 2:15 pm
  • American flags lining the streets on Adams Avenue: 25
  • MTS “training buses”: 1
  • Men wearing United Arab Emirates Airlines T-shirts: 1
  • In front of Home Start Thrift Boutique - 36th/Adams
  • Mannequins: 5
  • Male mannequins: 1
  • Headless mannequins: 3
  • Women wearing Spandex pants despite sizable derrieres: 2
  • Dogs on leashes: 3
  • Dachshunds: 2
  • Midway District, 3:35 pm – at Midway Drive and Kemper Street
  • Aggressive panhandlers: 3
  • Loudly barking dogs in parked cars: 1
  • People blaring rap and hip-hop from car stereos: 1
  • Audible parrots: quite a few, judging by the cacaphony
  • Used condoms in the gutter: 1
Ocean Beach – Newport Street outside Hodad’s, 3:50 pm – 5:20 pm: Golf carts bearing Nebraska Cornhusker football bumper stickers: 1
  • Ocean Beach – Newport Street outside Hodad’s, 3:50 pm – 5:20 pm
  • Tattooed young women holding hula hoops while skateboarding: 1
  • Golf carts bearing Nebraska Cornhusker football bumper stickers: 1
  • Skinny, black-clad hippie throwbacks loitering on the corner and begging for money: 2
  • People walking by on westbound sidewalk (one minute): 18
  • People walking by on westbound sidewalk (one minute) sporting visible tattoos: 15
  • Ostensible adults on scooters running the stop sign: lost count
  • People with dwarfism in line at Hodad’s: 1
  • 1950s vintage Rolls Royces on nearby streets: 1
Embarcadero – N. Harbor Drive – 5:40 pm – 6:05 pm: Seabirds of undetermined species visible from water’s edge: 6
  • Embarcadero – N. Harbor Drive – 5:40 pm – 6:05 pm
  • Seabirds of undetermined species visible from water’s edge: 6
  • Jet boats in the harbor: 1
  • Men wearing masks that look like terrorists’ kaffiyehs: 1
  • Out of state (or country) license plates in parking lot
  • Arizona: 5
  • Florida: 2
  • Michigan: 1
  • Nevada: 1
  • Pennsylvania: 1
  • Utah: 2
  • Washington: 1
  • Baja CA: 1
  • Little Italy, 6:12 pm
  • Men with dreadlocks gone to seed, carrying hobo packs: 1
  • Middle-aged men on scooters riding northbound on India Street: 2
  • People in or around the Aero Bar on India Street: 0
  • Bottles of single malt Scotch being poured at the Aero Bar: 0
  • La Jolla – corner of Prospect and Jenner, 6:53 pm
  • Women passing by wearing all black: 4
  • Women passing by wearing all black but no masks: 4
  • Women passing by wearing all black but no masks and pretending to be wealthy: 4
  • Ginormous Oriental rugs in the nearest window of Aja Rugs: 1
  • Thursday, September 17 - La Mesa – 8872 La Mesa Boulevard, 11 am to noon
  • Businesses at this address: 6
  • Businesses at this address open now: 1
  • Pedestrians within eyeshot: 0
  • Beater car parked within 100 yards: 8
  • San Diego - Scripps Ranch – Lake Miramar main parking lot, 1:30 pm – 2:30 pm
  • Cars parked: 27
  • Geese within 100 yards: 3
  • People fishing: 7
  • Rattlesnakes sighted resting under coastal chapparal: 1
  • Couples necking: 2
  • People swimming or wading on the other side of the lake: 1
  • People swimming or wading nude on the other side of lake: prohibited from disclosing.
  • Sponsored
    Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Too $hort & DJ Symphony, Peppermint Beach Club, Holidays at the Zoo

Events December 19-December 21, 2024
Next Article

Memories of bonfires amid the pits off Palm

Before it was Ocean View Hills, it was party central
San Diego - Scripps Ranch – Lake Miramar main parking lot, 1:30 pm – 2:30 pm: Geese within 100 yards: 3
San Diego - Scripps Ranch – Lake Miramar main parking lot, 1:30 pm – 2:30 pm: Geese within 100 yards: 3

It’s been a hell of a year, and it’s not over yet. First, in San Diego County as elsewhere in these Divided States, we’ve been treated to a masquerade ball, courtesy of a generous host. Whether one calls it by the bureaucratic “covid-19,” the generic “pandemic,” the conspiracy theorist’s “plandemic,” or the flippant “Kung Flu,” it’s been on the minds and mugs of locals.

A grim interlude in the masked ball was supplied by Antifa and BLM who raged in the region, albeit somewhat mildly (outside of poor La Mesa.) And let’s not forget the election season, which blew over us like a desert wind to fan the flames of our incivility. How long will it take for that fire to burn out?

But the 2020 Census must go on. So from a safe six feet away, I present to you these unofficial, unscientific, and unnecessary findings:

  • Friday, August 20, Solana Beach, 926 Santa Florencia Street, noon to 1 pm: the estate sale of one Dick Ellison.
  • Vintage baseball gloves: 4
  • Prospective buyers: 50 or so
  • Prospective buyers wearing masks: 7
  • Men with canes and a noticeable limp: 1
  • SUVs parked within 50 yards: 9
  • Homes at this address recently sold for approximately $1.7 million: 1
  • Northbound semitrucks on the 5 freeway, as seen from the back yard between 12:36 and 12:37: 4
  • Southbound semitrucks on the 5 freeway, as seen from the back yard between 12:36 and 12:37: 7
  • Cheesy porcelain angel figurines: 4
  • Baseball and softball trophies: 35
  • Baseball and softball trophies with geode bases: 2
  • Commemorative JFK drinking glasses: 7
  • Glass tumblers inscribed with “The Copley Newspapers: The Ring of Truth”: 1
  • Del Mar, 2 pm - Del Mar Race Track, race post time
  • Horse owners, trainers and assistant trainers, jockeys, starter and assistant starters, pony riders, track maintenance workers, stewards, a veterinarian, an ambulance driver, a bugle player, and a farrier: about 100
  • Paying spectators in the stands: 0
  • Oceanside, Highway 101, 2:45 pm
  • 2020 Census banners: 1
  • Iron bars over windows at Beachwood Motel: over three dozen
  • Oceanside Harbor, 3:10 pm
  • Men wearing pink socks and fedoras: 1
  • Dogs pissing on palm trees: 1
  • Men on skateboards smoking cigarettes while wearing long pants and jackets: 1
  • Boats flying “Don’t Tread On Me” flags: 2
  • Boats flying pirate flags: 1
  • Boats flying multi-colored peace symbol flags: 1
Oceanside Pier, 3:15 pm: People on the pier, including outdoor diners: 177
  • Oceanside Pier, 3:15 pm onward
  • People on the pier, including outdoor diners: 177
  • Wearing masks: 68
  • Not wearing masks: 109
  • Anglers: 73
  • Unmasked, tattooed young men walking pit bulls: 1
  • Identical twins: 1 set
  • Small fish schooling by the side of the pier: innumerable
  • Hungry pelicans above school of fish: 6
  • Jet skiers west of the pier: 2
  • Great white sharks sighted (second-hand report): 1
  • Announcements by lifeguards ordering non-surfers to exit the water: 2
  • Number of times I’ve visited the Oceanside Pier since moving to San Diego in 1981: 1
  • Southbound 5 near Cannon Road (La Costa), 5:00 – 5:05 pm
  • Cars bearing “student driver” placards: 1
  • Ostensible student drivers without placards on car: impossible to determine
  • Pickup trucks with Baja plates and overhead racks overstuffed with used furniture and appliances: 1
Cardiff strip mall at San Elijo Avenue and Liverpool Drive, 1:45 pm: Surly, heavily-tattooed clerks in Mar Vista Liquor: 1
  • Monday, August 31 - Cardiff strip mall at San Elijo Avenue and Liverpool Drive, 1:45 pm
  • Retail establishments with restrooms closed to the public: 3+
  • Surly, heavily-tattooed clerks in Mar Vista Liquor: 1
  • Liquor store patrons with masks: 0
  • Surly liquor store patrons walking cute French bulldogs: 1
  • Floor stickers in Lourdes Mexican Restaurant reading “Stay Away”: 7
  • Cardiff - Chesterfield/San Elijo intersection, 2:17 pm
  • Inconsiderate drivers: lost count
  • Carlsbad - Island Way/Carlsbad Boulevard, 2:40 pm
  • Middle-aged men on bikes running red lights: 1
  • Friday, September 11, Normal Heights, 11:45 am – 2:15 pm
  • American flags lining the streets on Adams Avenue: 25
  • MTS “training buses”: 1
  • Men wearing United Arab Emirates Airlines T-shirts: 1
  • In front of Home Start Thrift Boutique - 36th/Adams
  • Mannequins: 5
  • Male mannequins: 1
  • Headless mannequins: 3
  • Women wearing Spandex pants despite sizable derrieres: 2
  • Dogs on leashes: 3
  • Dachshunds: 2
  • Midway District, 3:35 pm – at Midway Drive and Kemper Street
  • Aggressive panhandlers: 3
  • Loudly barking dogs in parked cars: 1
  • People blaring rap and hip-hop from car stereos: 1
  • Audible parrots: quite a few, judging by the cacaphony
  • Used condoms in the gutter: 1
Ocean Beach – Newport Street outside Hodad’s, 3:50 pm – 5:20 pm: Golf carts bearing Nebraska Cornhusker football bumper stickers: 1
  • Ocean Beach – Newport Street outside Hodad’s, 3:50 pm – 5:20 pm
  • Tattooed young women holding hula hoops while skateboarding: 1
  • Golf carts bearing Nebraska Cornhusker football bumper stickers: 1
  • Skinny, black-clad hippie throwbacks loitering on the corner and begging for money: 2
  • People walking by on westbound sidewalk (one minute): 18
  • People walking by on westbound sidewalk (one minute) sporting visible tattoos: 15
  • Ostensible adults on scooters running the stop sign: lost count
  • People with dwarfism in line at Hodad’s: 1
  • 1950s vintage Rolls Royces on nearby streets: 1
Embarcadero – N. Harbor Drive – 5:40 pm – 6:05 pm: Seabirds of undetermined species visible from water’s edge: 6
  • Embarcadero – N. Harbor Drive – 5:40 pm – 6:05 pm
  • Seabirds of undetermined species visible from water’s edge: 6
  • Jet boats in the harbor: 1
  • Men wearing masks that look like terrorists’ kaffiyehs: 1
  • Out of state (or country) license plates in parking lot
  • Arizona: 5
  • Florida: 2
  • Michigan: 1
  • Nevada: 1
  • Pennsylvania: 1
  • Utah: 2
  • Washington: 1
  • Baja CA: 1
  • Little Italy, 6:12 pm
  • Men with dreadlocks gone to seed, carrying hobo packs: 1
  • Middle-aged men on scooters riding northbound on India Street: 2
  • People in or around the Aero Bar on India Street: 0
  • Bottles of single malt Scotch being poured at the Aero Bar: 0
  • La Jolla – corner of Prospect and Jenner, 6:53 pm
  • Women passing by wearing all black: 4
  • Women passing by wearing all black but no masks: 4
  • Women passing by wearing all black but no masks and pretending to be wealthy: 4
  • Ginormous Oriental rugs in the nearest window of Aja Rugs: 1
  • Thursday, September 17 - La Mesa – 8872 La Mesa Boulevard, 11 am to noon
  • Businesses at this address: 6
  • Businesses at this address open now: 1
  • Pedestrians within eyeshot: 0
  • Beater car parked within 100 yards: 8
  • San Diego - Scripps Ranch – Lake Miramar main parking lot, 1:30 pm – 2:30 pm
  • Cars parked: 27
  • Geese within 100 yards: 3
  • People fishing: 7
  • Rattlesnakes sighted resting under coastal chapparal: 1
  • Couples necking: 2
  • People swimming or wading on the other side of the lake: 1
  • People swimming or wading nude on the other side of lake: prohibited from disclosing.
  • Sponsored
    Sponsored
Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

The Art Of Dr. Seuss, Boarded: A New Pirate Adventure, Wild Horses Festival

Events December 26-December 30, 2024
Next Article

Aaron Stewart trades Christmas wonders for his first new music in 15 years

“Just because the job part was done, didn’t mean the passion had to die”
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader