Nineteen-year-old Andru Gynous of BSA Troop 1435 out of Poway’s Oddfellows Hall is having a special 2020: they have achieved the double honor of being among the first Scouts not identifying as male to receive the organization’s top honor, and also among the first to receive it under its new title of Titmouse Scout. “The Eagle Scout badge has long been the Boy Scouts’ highest accolade, the culmination of a youth spent acquiring practical skills, cultivating excellent character, and achieving significant goals with strong real-world applications,” says Scouthelper Will Flopsweat. “But you know, this is a time of welcome change at our organization. Remember, we’re not the Boy Scouts any more; now that we’re not gender-specific, we’re the BSA, which stands for…something. Binary Sexuality Anathema? I don’t know. Anyway, we’ve recently entered bankruptcy, thanks to nearly 100,000 allegations of sexual misconduct within our ranks. Eagles, of course, are apex predators, and it was felt that ‘predator’ wasn’t something we really needed to be associated with at the moment. So we decided to retire the eagle and adopt something more in keeping with our desire that everybody would just stop paying so much attention to us. Or any attention, really. The titmouse seemed a good choice. Can I go now?”
Nineteen-year-old Andru Gynous of BSA Troop 1435 out of Poway’s Oddfellows Hall is having a special 2020: they have achieved the double honor of being among the first Scouts not identifying as male to receive the organization’s top honor, and also among the first to receive it under its new title of Titmouse Scout. “The Eagle Scout badge has long been the Boy Scouts’ highest accolade, the culmination of a youth spent acquiring practical skills, cultivating excellent character, and achieving significant goals with strong real-world applications,” says Scouthelper Will Flopsweat. “But you know, this is a time of welcome change at our organization. Remember, we’re not the Boy Scouts any more; now that we’re not gender-specific, we’re the BSA, which stands for…something. Binary Sexuality Anathema? I don’t know. Anyway, we’ve recently entered bankruptcy, thanks to nearly 100,000 allegations of sexual misconduct within our ranks. Eagles, of course, are apex predators, and it was felt that ‘predator’ wasn’t something we really needed to be associated with at the moment. So we decided to retire the eagle and adopt something more in keeping with our desire that everybody would just stop paying so much attention to us. Or any attention, really. The titmouse seemed a good choice. Can I go now?”
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