Here's something you might be interested in.
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed
Big Screen — Movie commentary
Blurt — Music's inside track
Booze News — San Diego spirits
Classical Music — Immortal beauty
Classifieds — Free and easy
Cover Stories — Front-page features
Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes
Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts
Feast! — Food & drink reviews
Feature Stories — Local news & stories
Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore
From the Archives — Spotlight on the past
Golden Dreams — Talk of the town
The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it
Letters — Our inbox
Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites
Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans
Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists
Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news
News Ticker — News & politics
Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated
Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna
Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated
Poetry — The old and the new
Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers
Reading — The hunt for intellectuals
Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails
San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds
SD on the QT — Almost factual news
Sheep and Goats — Places of worship
Special Issues — The best of
Street Style — San Diego streets have style
Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves
Theater — On stage in San Diego this week
Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative
Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work
Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego
Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads
Your Week — Daily event picks
Caught between Chernobyl and the slaughterhouse
“If a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his butt a-hoppin”
Manure is also an animal byproduct.
Well, the rumors of a Pavement pre-reunion reunion proved unsurprisingly false. I regret nothing. Unfortunately, my return to “Ask a Hipster” will be delayed yet another week. You see, before I even made it halfway back to San Diego, I caught wind of a new bar opened up by some hipsters in a medium-sized college town. Apparently, they renovated a tiny kiosk at a hotel so it looks like a prison cell, complete with a little commode, and they sell nothing but “craft” Pruno. As I’m sure you can imagine, I cannot resist the urge to investigate this concept, executed in the most incredibly poor taste. Thus, while I am hate-drinking Pruno in parts unknown, I have asked my great-aunt, Tabitha “Tabby” Stevens, an 87-year-old self-described “folksy Texan,” to cover for me. May she enlighten.
— The Hipster
Dear Hipster Texan:
At a wedding a fortnite back, filled with guests I didn’t really know, I got into a serious debate with some totally random hipster (wearing actual suspenders and tweed in July, seriously) about whether Wimbledon is a bigger deal than the Tour de France in terms of the importance of the two events to the worldwide summer sporting season. Here’s the thing though: I don’t particularly care about either event, or even about either sport. I struggle to explain why I engaged in the debate with such passion and at such great length, and I think it’s because the smugness of this particular hipster bastard really pissed me off. What is it about the hipster mentality that places so much importance on being “right” about trivial things?
— Hugh
Well, I don’t have my nephew’s insights, but I’ve still got a fair bit of snap in my garters, and I tell you what, son, it sure sounds like your new friend blew in on his own wind. I always say, “Never wrestle with a pig, because you’ll both get muddy and the pig likes it.” I guess it could be rephrased as, “Never argue with a hipster because you can’t win for losing and it makes the hipster think the sun came up just to hear him crow.” The way I see it, you’re liable to end up more confused than a fart in a fan factory, so why waste your time hollering down the well in the first place?
Dear Hipster Texan:
I’m trying to encourage a flourishing organic, urban, backyard garden to grow healthy vegan food, and I have learned this requires fertilizer. All the good organic fertilizers I can find are made of blood, bones, and fishmeal. Any fertilizers not made from the byproducts of animal suffering appear to be made out of various kinds of industrial waste. I’m caught between Chernobyl and the slaughterhouse! What’s the appropriately woke choice, hipster?
— Abby
Vegan urban farming dilemmas are about as rare as hen’s teeth where I come from, but it sure sounds like you’ve got a real yellowjacket in your outhouse there, little miss. God willing and the creek don’t rise you’ll see the end of it.
But, as my granny always said, “If a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his butt a-hoppin,” and I think that plumb near tells you everything you need to know about about anything that’s worth knowing.
Here's something you might be interested in.
Caught between Chernobyl and the slaughterhouse
“If a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his butt a-hoppin”
Caught between Chernobyl and the slaughterhouse
“If a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his butt a-hoppin”
Manure is also an animal byproduct.
Well, the rumors of a Pavement pre-reunion reunion proved unsurprisingly false. I regret nothing. Unfortunately, my return to “Ask a Hipster” will be delayed yet another week. You see, before I even made it halfway back to San Diego, I caught wind of a new bar opened up by some hipsters in a medium-sized college town. Apparently, they renovated a tiny kiosk at a hotel so it looks like a prison cell, complete with a little commode, and they sell nothing but “craft” Pruno. As I’m sure you can imagine, I cannot resist the urge to investigate this concept, executed in the most incredibly poor taste. Thus, while I am hate-drinking Pruno in parts unknown, I have asked my great-aunt, Tabitha “Tabby” Stevens, an 87-year-old self-described “folksy Texan,” to cover for me. May she enlighten.
— The Hipster
Dear Hipster Texan:
At a wedding a fortnite back, filled with guests I didn’t really know, I got into a serious debate with some totally random hipster (wearing actual suspenders and tweed in July, seriously) about whether Wimbledon is a bigger deal than the Tour de France in terms of the importance of the two events to the worldwide summer sporting season. Here’s the thing though: I don’t particularly care about either event, or even about either sport. I struggle to explain why I engaged in the debate with such passion and at such great length, and I think it’s because the smugness of this particular hipster bastard really pissed me off. What is it about the hipster mentality that places so much importance on being “right” about trivial things?
— Hugh
Well, I don’t have my nephew’s insights, but I’ve still got a fair bit of snap in my garters, and I tell you what, son, it sure sounds like your new friend blew in on his own wind. I always say, “Never wrestle with a pig, because you’ll both get muddy and the pig likes it.” I guess it could be rephrased as, “Never argue with a hipster because you can’t win for losing and it makes the hipster think the sun came up just to hear him crow.” The way I see it, you’re liable to end up more confused than a fart in a fan factory, so why waste your time hollering down the well in the first place?
Dear Hipster Texan:
I’m trying to encourage a flourishing organic, urban, backyard garden to grow healthy vegan food, and I have learned this requires fertilizer. All the good organic fertilizers I can find are made of blood, bones, and fishmeal. Any fertilizers not made from the byproducts of animal suffering appear to be made out of various kinds of industrial waste. I’m caught between Chernobyl and the slaughterhouse! What’s the appropriately woke choice, hipster?
— Abby
Vegan urban farming dilemmas are about as rare as hen’s teeth where I come from, but it sure sounds like you’ve got a real yellowjacket in your outhouse there, little miss. God willing and the creek don’t rise you’ll see the end of it.
But, as my granny always said, “If a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his butt a-hoppin,” and I think that plumb near tells you everything you need to know about about anything that’s worth knowing.
Comments