Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

The perfect catch-all holiday

Maybe you should give Festivus a shot

Lame Commercialized Symbol of Anti-Consumerism
Lame Commercialized Symbol of Anti-Consumerism

Dear Hipster:

With the so-called Holiday Season fully upon us, one cannot engage in the world without fielding a barrage of “Happy Holidays!” and other such seasonal well-wishes. As if it weren’t enough to be forcibly bombarded with others’ good cheer, I also must listen to everyone and his brother complain about how he wishes the sign in the window at Target said “Merry Christmas” instead of “Seasons Greetings,” or vice versa, and nobody seems able to leave well enough alone. This year, I’ve hit on a possible solution. We should invent a new holiday, but it will be the kind of holiday that doesn’t really care about other holidays, where everybody can just kind of agree to disagree about the importance of winter holidays generally, and instead of the half dozen (or whatever) other winter holidays, everybody uses this one holiday for a benign stand-in. What do you think? If you were to design a perfect catch-all holiday, what would it look like?

— Burt, Cortez Hill

Sponsored
Sponsored

Sometimes, I think I’m the most over-it dude around; but you, sir, and people who share your general saltiness, will always be there to prove me wrong.

That said, maybe you should give Festivus a shot. Most people think Seinfeld invented the anti-holiday, with its unadorned aluminum pole and oddball traditions like “the airing of grievances” in lieu of traditional seasonal cheer, but the credit actually lies with former Reader’s Digest editor Dan O’Keefe, who created the holiday as a private family tradition in the 1960s.

O’Keefe’s original anti-holiday embodied the hipster spirit of doing random things for no other reason than that you wanted to do them because they are so random. The Seinfeld version maintained the hipster spirit by taking the idea and running with it; in a sense parodying something that was already a parody. Bravo, hipsters.

Many modern Festivus celebrants (Festivants?) fall short of the innovative hipster aspirations of early Festivus practitioners (Festivizers?). Too many Festivus fans (Festivians?) go on Amazon and buy their very own Festivus poles, or perhaps Festivus-themed Ugly Festivus Sweaters for Ugly Festivus Sweater Parties. Lame! The whole point of an anti-holiday celebration is to reject the consumerist trappings of the holiday season, but I guess these wannabe Festivus revelers (Festiv...oh, never mind) didn’t get the memo. Thus, I roundly reject any derivative anti-holiday celebrants, Festivus or otherwise.

On the other hand, if you’re getting into the anti-holiday spirit by putting your personal stamp on an alternative celebration, that I can 100 percent get behind. Make up your own un-holiday traditions: eat ice cream and waffles for dinner every night during the last week of December; pull all-nighters on every Thursday between Thanksgiving and MLK day in order to better commune with the long darkness of winter; watch Die Hard and take a shot of Jack Daniels every time John McClane does something awesome, which is pretty much constantly, so, if you really want to watch Die Hard this last one might not work out so well. It really doesn’t matter what you do, so long as it represents a good faith effort to differentiate yourself from the rest of the mundane world.

Maybe someday your very own quirky tradition will spread like wildfire, and then some cheeky future hipster will be chastising future people for unoriginally parroting your ideas. You never know till you give it a whirl.

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Gonzo Report: Downtown thrift shop offers three bands in one show

Come nightfall, Humble Heart hosts The Beat
Lame Commercialized Symbol of Anti-Consumerism
Lame Commercialized Symbol of Anti-Consumerism

Dear Hipster:

With the so-called Holiday Season fully upon us, one cannot engage in the world without fielding a barrage of “Happy Holidays!” and other such seasonal well-wishes. As if it weren’t enough to be forcibly bombarded with others’ good cheer, I also must listen to everyone and his brother complain about how he wishes the sign in the window at Target said “Merry Christmas” instead of “Seasons Greetings,” or vice versa, and nobody seems able to leave well enough alone. This year, I’ve hit on a possible solution. We should invent a new holiday, but it will be the kind of holiday that doesn’t really care about other holidays, where everybody can just kind of agree to disagree about the importance of winter holidays generally, and instead of the half dozen (or whatever) other winter holidays, everybody uses this one holiday for a benign stand-in. What do you think? If you were to design a perfect catch-all holiday, what would it look like?

— Burt, Cortez Hill

Sponsored
Sponsored

Sometimes, I think I’m the most over-it dude around; but you, sir, and people who share your general saltiness, will always be there to prove me wrong.

That said, maybe you should give Festivus a shot. Most people think Seinfeld invented the anti-holiday, with its unadorned aluminum pole and oddball traditions like “the airing of grievances” in lieu of traditional seasonal cheer, but the credit actually lies with former Reader’s Digest editor Dan O’Keefe, who created the holiday as a private family tradition in the 1960s.

O’Keefe’s original anti-holiday embodied the hipster spirit of doing random things for no other reason than that you wanted to do them because they are so random. The Seinfeld version maintained the hipster spirit by taking the idea and running with it; in a sense parodying something that was already a parody. Bravo, hipsters.

Many modern Festivus celebrants (Festivants?) fall short of the innovative hipster aspirations of early Festivus practitioners (Festivizers?). Too many Festivus fans (Festivians?) go on Amazon and buy their very own Festivus poles, or perhaps Festivus-themed Ugly Festivus Sweaters for Ugly Festivus Sweater Parties. Lame! The whole point of an anti-holiday celebration is to reject the consumerist trappings of the holiday season, but I guess these wannabe Festivus revelers (Festiv...oh, never mind) didn’t get the memo. Thus, I roundly reject any derivative anti-holiday celebrants, Festivus or otherwise.

On the other hand, if you’re getting into the anti-holiday spirit by putting your personal stamp on an alternative celebration, that I can 100 percent get behind. Make up your own un-holiday traditions: eat ice cream and waffles for dinner every night during the last week of December; pull all-nighters on every Thursday between Thanksgiving and MLK day in order to better commune with the long darkness of winter; watch Die Hard and take a shot of Jack Daniels every time John McClane does something awesome, which is pretty much constantly, so, if you really want to watch Die Hard this last one might not work out so well. It really doesn’t matter what you do, so long as it represents a good faith effort to differentiate yourself from the rest of the mundane world.

Maybe someday your very own quirky tradition will spread like wildfire, and then some cheeky future hipster will be chastising future people for unoriginally parroting your ideas. You never know till you give it a whirl.

Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Birding & Brews: Breakfast Edition, ZZ Ward, Doggie Street Festival & Pet Adopt-A-Thon

Events November 21-November 23, 2024
Next Article

Second largest yellowfin tuna caught by rod and reel

Excel does it again
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader