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A gnarly night at the movies
Including The Wedding Plan, A Dark Song, and Baywatch
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales: Depp has nightmares in which he’s forced to watch all five Pirate movies in a row.
Gnarly: difficult, dangerous, or challenging.
The challenge of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales? To make poor old Johnny Depp appealing again. Annnnd...nope.
Movie
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales *
Johnny Depp stumbles, staggers, lurches, leers, preens, pratfalls, and melancholily mugs his way back into the role that made him rich: Captain Jack Sparrow, the poncy pirate. But he’s no longer particularly clever nor particularly funny (“Think Captain Jack is washed up, eh? I’ve not had a wash in years!”), and he certainly isn’t having much fun. Neither is anybody else: Brenton Thwaites and Kaya Scodelario serve as paler echoes of the original’s Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, Javier Bardem strains to overcome the swirl of effects that surround his vengeful villain, and Geoffrey Rush is reduced to sentimental slop as various parties run around searching for a trident that will break every curse of the sea. The bounty of bawdy bits feel borrowed from Benny Hill (“No woman’s ever handled my Herschel before!” says a stunned telescope operator), while the slapstick violence skews toward the Three Stooges. (The bit with the guillotine was funny the first time…) But fans of the Black Pearl and Depp’s black eyeliner may feel a twinge of nostalgic pleasure all the same. Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg direct.
The difficulty of Baywatch: to make a successful R-rated comedy out of a winking, silly TV soap opera. Nooope.
The challenging difficulty facing the heroine of The Wedding Plan: to pull off a wedding with no groom in sight. Not gonna say whether or not she succeeds, but the film certainly does.
The difficult challenge facing the heroine of A Dark Song: to summon and command her guardian angel through ancient and painful mystical rites. Not going to say whether or not she succeeds, but the film is an impressive, ambitious debut for writer-director Liam Gavin.
The challenge of Slack Bay is aimed at the audience, which may have intestinal difficulty while watching. Something about cannibals.
And speaking of difficulties, Scott and I were unable to get to the documentaries Elián and Buena Vista Social Club: Adios.
Finally, the Grateful Dead doc Long Strange Trip had its one-night stand in the theaters last night. But it’s worth checking out Scott’s review in case it ever comes around again. You know, like a Dead tour.
Here's something you might be interested in.
A gnarly night at the movies
Including The Wedding Plan, A Dark Song, and Baywatch
A gnarly night at the movies
Including The Wedding Plan, A Dark Song, and Baywatch
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales: Depp has nightmares in which he’s forced to watch all five Pirate movies in a row.
Gnarly: difficult, dangerous, or challenging.
The challenge of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales? To make poor old Johnny Depp appealing again. Annnnd...nope.
Movie
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales *
Johnny Depp stumbles, staggers, lurches, leers, preens, pratfalls, and melancholily mugs his way back into the role that made him rich: Captain Jack Sparrow, the poncy pirate. But he’s no longer particularly clever nor particularly funny (“Think Captain Jack is washed up, eh? I’ve not had a wash in years!”), and he certainly isn’t having much fun. Neither is anybody else: Brenton Thwaites and Kaya Scodelario serve as paler echoes of the original’s Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, Javier Bardem strains to overcome the swirl of effects that surround his vengeful villain, and Geoffrey Rush is reduced to sentimental slop as various parties run around searching for a trident that will break every curse of the sea. The bounty of bawdy bits feel borrowed from Benny Hill (“No woman’s ever handled my Herschel before!” says a stunned telescope operator), while the slapstick violence skews toward the Three Stooges. (The bit with the guillotine was funny the first time…) But fans of the Black Pearl and Depp’s black eyeliner may feel a twinge of nostalgic pleasure all the same. Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg direct.
The difficulty of Baywatch: to make a successful R-rated comedy out of a winking, silly TV soap opera. Nooope.
The challenging difficulty facing the heroine of The Wedding Plan: to pull off a wedding with no groom in sight. Not gonna say whether or not she succeeds, but the film certainly does.
The difficult challenge facing the heroine of A Dark Song: to summon and command her guardian angel through ancient and painful mystical rites. Not going to say whether or not she succeeds, but the film is an impressive, ambitious debut for writer-director Liam Gavin.
The challenge of Slack Bay is aimed at the audience, which may have intestinal difficulty while watching. Something about cannibals.
And speaking of difficulties, Scott and I were unable to get to the documentaries Elián and Buena Vista Social Club: Adios.
Finally, the Grateful Dead doc Long Strange Trip had its one-night stand in the theaters last night. But it’s worth checking out Scott’s review in case it ever comes around again. You know, like a Dead tour.
Commentssteini
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Nov. 22, 2018
patrickturner
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April 19, 2019
jamsi
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April 30, 2019