Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Worst election night ever cocktail bash

Pick your poison as the person is picked

A little something to ease the pain
A little something to ease the pain

Anyone else thinking of drinking the blues away on election night? The Kellys are.

The office once held by Washington and Lincoln will be filled by Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton. That statement nauseates me. I’d like to move to Fiji before election day, but my 401k says that’s not happening this year, or any other, for that matter.

These are the musings I’ve had about our country’s future this past month. Not the most optimistic, I know. Last week, I snuck in some coffee time with my friend Bernice. The conversation soon moved to the election, and I soon moved to my sad place. But Bernice, ever one to make lemonade from life’s lemons, threw out a gem of an idea.

Take your pick

“Let’s get some friends together on November 8th and have a Worst Election Night Ever Cocktail Bash. We’ll create election-themed cocktails. It will make the night go by easier.”

Genius. I moved right into action and polled some creative minds for ideas.

Sponsored
Sponsored

Margaret, one of the most creative, was the first to start riffing.

“How about in honor of Trump: a Dirty CEO: a dirty gin martini with a cocktail-weenie garnish. No, wait, a blue-cheese-stuffed olive.

“For Hillary: the Sour Bitch: vodka, club soda, sour mix, garnished with a (face like a rotten) lemon peel.

“Then there could be the Screwed Either Way: vodka, orange juice, with a heavy dash of bitters.

“Or if it’s a close election, the All-Nighter: vodka, coffee concentrate, Kahlua, with a dash of half and half.

“Wait, I’ve got another,” said Margaret, clearly warming to the task. “Locker Room Banter: Mickey’s Big Mouth served in a red solo cup with a shot of tequila on the side, heavy salt.

“Another option: Red State/Blue State: rum, blood orange soda, with a float of Blue Curaçao.”

Last, she threw in the “Why Do We Even Need the Electoral College Anyway? Pabst Blue Ribbon served with flaming hot Cheetos.”

I began to think we might need Margaret to bartend this event. She’s a creative cocktail genius. But she’s not the only one.

Tim suggested, “Trumped-Up Tanqueray with Tonic. The ‘trumped-up’ of course refers to Hillary’s accusation that Donald Trump advocates what she calls ‘trumped-up trickle-down’ economics.”

Serena suggested, “If we win, then serve Champagne Americana Sparkling CA wine with a half shot of Kentucky Bourbon. And if we lose, which might be in both cases, the Suffering Bastard — 1 ounce bourbon, 1 ounce gin, 1 ounce fresh lime juice, 1 dash Angostura bitters, 4 ounces chilled ginger ale — for its name, and because I like drinks with ginger.”

Angela I could tell was sharing my dismal vibes. “Seems like a night for whiskey, straight up,” she stated. Or keeping it fairly straightforward, “Mules for Democrats,” she added. “For Republicans, how about POG and Rum, but for election night we call it GOP and Rum instead?”

Matthew offered a take on the Harvey Wallbanger. “Orange juice for Trump, tequila for Mexican, whiskey stones to chill it, for the wall. Add a splash of grenadine and call it a Donald Wallbuilder.”

I was chuckling over all this when my man Patrick got home. “You’re in a good mood,” he said. “Did I miss something? Did both Trump and Clinton quit the election?”

I explained the election-night cocktail bash idea. He immediately got into the spirit. “We could hang a sign on the bathroom door that says, ‘Wikileaks,’” he joked. I could see by the glint in his eyes that he had another idea but he wouldn’t divulge it “until I have it finalized.”

After 15 minutes of Patrick chuckling over his laptop, he announced, “I have it — the Puss...uh, let’s just call it the ‘P. Grabber.’ Pour an inappropriate amount of J.R. Ewing Private Reserve bourbon ($32.99 at ShopWineDirect.com), which is named after the infamous philandering bad boy from Dallas, over two rocks in a cat-decorated cocktail glass ($39.99 at Wayfair.com). Float in a half-ounce of maraschino ($29.99 at BevMo), a liqueur made from sour cherries. Garnish with a single cherry speared with a martini pick.”

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

San Diego beaches not that nice to dogs

Bacteria and seawater itself not that great
Next Article

At Comedor Nishi a world of cuisines meet for brunch

A Mexican eatery with Japanese and French influences
A little something to ease the pain
A little something to ease the pain

Anyone else thinking of drinking the blues away on election night? The Kellys are.

The office once held by Washington and Lincoln will be filled by Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton. That statement nauseates me. I’d like to move to Fiji before election day, but my 401k says that’s not happening this year, or any other, for that matter.

These are the musings I’ve had about our country’s future this past month. Not the most optimistic, I know. Last week, I snuck in some coffee time with my friend Bernice. The conversation soon moved to the election, and I soon moved to my sad place. But Bernice, ever one to make lemonade from life’s lemons, threw out a gem of an idea.

Take your pick

“Let’s get some friends together on November 8th and have a Worst Election Night Ever Cocktail Bash. We’ll create election-themed cocktails. It will make the night go by easier.”

Genius. I moved right into action and polled some creative minds for ideas.

Sponsored
Sponsored

Margaret, one of the most creative, was the first to start riffing.

“How about in honor of Trump: a Dirty CEO: a dirty gin martini with a cocktail-weenie garnish. No, wait, a blue-cheese-stuffed olive.

“For Hillary: the Sour Bitch: vodka, club soda, sour mix, garnished with a (face like a rotten) lemon peel.

“Then there could be the Screwed Either Way: vodka, orange juice, with a heavy dash of bitters.

“Or if it’s a close election, the All-Nighter: vodka, coffee concentrate, Kahlua, with a dash of half and half.

“Wait, I’ve got another,” said Margaret, clearly warming to the task. “Locker Room Banter: Mickey’s Big Mouth served in a red solo cup with a shot of tequila on the side, heavy salt.

“Another option: Red State/Blue State: rum, blood orange soda, with a float of Blue Curaçao.”

Last, she threw in the “Why Do We Even Need the Electoral College Anyway? Pabst Blue Ribbon served with flaming hot Cheetos.”

I began to think we might need Margaret to bartend this event. She’s a creative cocktail genius. But she’s not the only one.

Tim suggested, “Trumped-Up Tanqueray with Tonic. The ‘trumped-up’ of course refers to Hillary’s accusation that Donald Trump advocates what she calls ‘trumped-up trickle-down’ economics.”

Serena suggested, “If we win, then serve Champagne Americana Sparkling CA wine with a half shot of Kentucky Bourbon. And if we lose, which might be in both cases, the Suffering Bastard — 1 ounce bourbon, 1 ounce gin, 1 ounce fresh lime juice, 1 dash Angostura bitters, 4 ounces chilled ginger ale — for its name, and because I like drinks with ginger.”

Angela I could tell was sharing my dismal vibes. “Seems like a night for whiskey, straight up,” she stated. Or keeping it fairly straightforward, “Mules for Democrats,” she added. “For Republicans, how about POG and Rum, but for election night we call it GOP and Rum instead?”

Matthew offered a take on the Harvey Wallbanger. “Orange juice for Trump, tequila for Mexican, whiskey stones to chill it, for the wall. Add a splash of grenadine and call it a Donald Wallbuilder.”

I was chuckling over all this when my man Patrick got home. “You’re in a good mood,” he said. “Did I miss something? Did both Trump and Clinton quit the election?”

I explained the election-night cocktail bash idea. He immediately got into the spirit. “We could hang a sign on the bathroom door that says, ‘Wikileaks,’” he joked. I could see by the glint in his eyes that he had another idea but he wouldn’t divulge it “until I have it finalized.”

After 15 minutes of Patrick chuckling over his laptop, he announced, “I have it — the Puss...uh, let’s just call it the ‘P. Grabber.’ Pour an inappropriate amount of J.R. Ewing Private Reserve bourbon ($32.99 at ShopWineDirect.com), which is named after the infamous philandering bad boy from Dallas, over two rocks in a cat-decorated cocktail glass ($39.99 at Wayfair.com). Float in a half-ounce of maraschino ($29.99 at BevMo), a liqueur made from sour cherries. Garnish with a single cherry speared with a martini pick.”

Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Mary Catherine Swanson wants every San Diego student going to college

Where busing from Southeast San Diego to University City has led
Next Article

Big kited bluefin on the Red Rooster III

Lake fishing heating up as the weather cools
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader