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Hipster uses for that mystery room

No pantries allowed

Little too big for a pantry
Little too big for a pantry

Dear Hipster:

I just moved into a really cool duplex apartment. A duplex is technically an apartment, right? It’s not some separate category of house? Anyways, the apartment has this tiny little room, which I think was some kind of maid’s quarters or something. I don’t even know exactly. The realtor called it a pantry, because it’s kind of close to the kitchen, but it’s not actually attached to the kitchen so it would be weird to use it for storing food. The problem is that I don’t know what to do with it. It has no windows, so I don’t want to use it for an office, and it seems like it could be put to cool use, but I don’t know for what. It would be a shame to just fill it with boxed crap. I want to put it to some kind of cool, unique use, but I’m coming up short on ideas. What should I do with it?

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— Leslie, Rolando

The first (and last) episode of MTV Cribs I ever watched paid a visit to alt-bro boy-band Incubus at a rented mansion somewhere in Malibu. Near the end of the tour, the band showed off a little, pillow-strewn secret room. Since this was back in the socially paleolithic early-2000s, they couldn’t come right out and say, “This is where we go to smoke weed!” but it was obviously where they went to, as the kids are saying, burn one down.

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Can Silence Actually Drive You Crazy?

Unhelpful anecdotes aside, there must be limitless cool things to do with your mystery space. Buy a Sprocket Rocket and build yourself a darkroom. Fermentation chamber. Wine cellar. Tiny recording studio. Tiny AirBnB room. Tiny slot-car race track. Keep your indoor worm farm there and make your own compost for urban farming. Install foam triangles on the walls and make yourself an anechoic chamber to practice sensory deprivation.

All great ideas, but asking someone else for a cool, unique idea rather defeats the purpose of being cool and unique. I would challenge you to find a use for the mystery room that expresses your unique vision. Failing that, my gut tells me it would make a solid pantry.

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Halloween opera style

Faust is the quintessential example
Little too big for a pantry
Little too big for a pantry

Dear Hipster:

I just moved into a really cool duplex apartment. A duplex is technically an apartment, right? It’s not some separate category of house? Anyways, the apartment has this tiny little room, which I think was some kind of maid’s quarters or something. I don’t even know exactly. The realtor called it a pantry, because it’s kind of close to the kitchen, but it’s not actually attached to the kitchen so it would be weird to use it for storing food. The problem is that I don’t know what to do with it. It has no windows, so I don’t want to use it for an office, and it seems like it could be put to cool use, but I don’t know for what. It would be a shame to just fill it with boxed crap. I want to put it to some kind of cool, unique use, but I’m coming up short on ideas. What should I do with it?

Sponsored
Sponsored

— Leslie, Rolando

The first (and last) episode of MTV Cribs I ever watched paid a visit to alt-bro boy-band Incubus at a rented mansion somewhere in Malibu. Near the end of the tour, the band showed off a little, pillow-strewn secret room. Since this was back in the socially paleolithic early-2000s, they couldn’t come right out and say, “This is where we go to smoke weed!” but it was obviously where they went to, as the kids are saying, burn one down.

Video:

Can Silence Actually Drive You Crazy?

Unhelpful anecdotes aside, there must be limitless cool things to do with your mystery space. Buy a Sprocket Rocket and build yourself a darkroom. Fermentation chamber. Wine cellar. Tiny recording studio. Tiny AirBnB room. Tiny slot-car race track. Keep your indoor worm farm there and make your own compost for urban farming. Install foam triangles on the walls and make yourself an anechoic chamber to practice sensory deprivation.

All great ideas, but asking someone else for a cool, unique idea rather defeats the purpose of being cool and unique. I would challenge you to find a use for the mystery room that expresses your unique vision. Failing that, my gut tells me it would make a solid pantry.

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Two poems by Marvin Bell

“To Dorothy” and “The Self and the Mulberry”
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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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