Much as it pains me to ignore your collective problems for even a moment, I’m on vacation this week and unable to answer your letters. But, fear not! I’ve persuaded my cousin, Caroline...sorry, I mean, “Nightshade” Stevens, a Goth teenager from the 1990s, to field your inquiries. Stay hip, my friends! — DJ Stevens
Oh, poor, sweet, innocent Christopher. How it pains me to read this missive, draped as it is in the vain hope of a brighter tomorrow. Wouldn’t it be easier to just admit that we are all doomed to the darkness, that the world’s sadness knows no limit, and we are all dying every day? Condemn that stained shirt to the eternal refuse heap, my brother of the night, and invest in some darker colors. Black is a great place to start, or to end. Not only does it hide stains, it more accurately reflects the miserable state of the human soul in a loveless world.
What is a potluck dinner compared to the sweet promises of endless night? How can you think of food when each of us suffers interminably as a thousand shards of shattered crystal tears at our souls throughout the eternal torment of mortal life! Your immortal being cares nothing for baked ziti or spanakopita. Even so, $10 worth of Oreos goes a long way, and their combination of blackness and pallor is delightful.
Save all the Joy Division. Dump everything else. CDs won’t help you achieve vampiric transcendence or lift the veil of darkness from a world as meaningless as this one. For the sake of anguished peace with your lady love, confine your memories to the pages of your dream journal.
Sigh.
— Nightshade Stevens
Much as it pains me to ignore your collective problems for even a moment, I’m on vacation this week and unable to answer your letters. But, fear not! I’ve persuaded my cousin, Caroline...sorry, I mean, “Nightshade” Stevens, a Goth teenager from the 1990s, to field your inquiries. Stay hip, my friends! — DJ Stevens
Oh, poor, sweet, innocent Christopher. How it pains me to read this missive, draped as it is in the vain hope of a brighter tomorrow. Wouldn’t it be easier to just admit that we are all doomed to the darkness, that the world’s sadness knows no limit, and we are all dying every day? Condemn that stained shirt to the eternal refuse heap, my brother of the night, and invest in some darker colors. Black is a great place to start, or to end. Not only does it hide stains, it more accurately reflects the miserable state of the human soul in a loveless world.
What is a potluck dinner compared to the sweet promises of endless night? How can you think of food when each of us suffers interminably as a thousand shards of shattered crystal tears at our souls throughout the eternal torment of mortal life! Your immortal being cares nothing for baked ziti or spanakopita. Even so, $10 worth of Oreos goes a long way, and their combination of blackness and pallor is delightful.
Save all the Joy Division. Dump everything else. CDs won’t help you achieve vampiric transcendence or lift the veil of darkness from a world as meaningless as this one. For the sake of anguished peace with your lady love, confine your memories to the pages of your dream journal.
Sigh.
— Nightshade Stevens
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