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SDG&E announces branding partnership with Universal’s Illumination Entertainment
Attempting to “minionate” a spate of bad PR?
Ask yourself: how could something so adorable possibly be problematic?
STILL REELING FROM THE DISCOVERY THAT MINIONS IS THE #11 ALL-TIME BIGGEST FILM WORLDWIDE, SAN ONOFRE — “It all started with that meddling busybody Darrel Issa and his namby-pamby Bill 3643,” says SDG&E Head of Malevolent Mischief Rod Halflife of his company’s decision to cover the iconic containment domes of the defunct San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station with neoprene tents depicting Stuart and Bob from the hit movie Minions. “Supposedly responding to the so-called ‘will of the people’ — whoever they are — the cowardly Congressman started calling for the removal of low-level nuclear material from our magnificent containment facility, on the grounds that it was sort of close to a heavily populated area and, you know, Fukushima. Talk about exploiting someone else’s tragedy for your own personal agenda. He did this even though our own scientists, who are much smarter than Mr. Issa could even comprehend, explicitly assured him that SONGS is a safe space for radioactive waste.”
But it wasn’t until the Oceanside City Council passed an ordinance supporting the legislation that Halflife knew action was called for. “City Councils have a way of getting folks riled up. Close to home and all that. And when you’re screwing the customer as hard as we are with this SONGS fiasco, you can’t afford to have too many people paying attention. Next thing you know, they’ll actually object to our charging them $10.4 billion to shut the place down after we installed faulty steam generators. Worst case scenario, we run into meaningful public oversight of our operations, and you can kiss my private island goodbye.”
Halflife needed a pleasing distraction, something to reassure the public on a subliminal level without actually denying the truth. “Sometimes, lying isn’t the best option,” he admitted. “If the cognitive dissonance is too great, people might start to think. The minions were a perfect solution. They live to serve the bad guy, which in this case, is us. But at the same time, everybody loves them. Sure, we’re the villain in the story, but we’ve got Stuart and Bob on our side, so it’s all good.”
Here's something you might be interested in.
SDG&E announces branding partnership with Universal’s Illumination Entertainment
Attempting to “minionate” a spate of bad PR?
SDG&E announces branding partnership with Universal’s Illumination Entertainment
Attempting to “minionate” a spate of bad PR?
Ask yourself: how could something so adorable possibly be problematic?
STILL REELING FROM THE DISCOVERY THAT MINIONS IS THE #11 ALL-TIME BIGGEST FILM WORLDWIDE, SAN ONOFRE — “It all started with that meddling busybody Darrel Issa and his namby-pamby Bill 3643,” says SDG&E Head of Malevolent Mischief Rod Halflife of his company’s decision to cover the iconic containment domes of the defunct San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station with neoprene tents depicting Stuart and Bob from the hit movie Minions. “Supposedly responding to the so-called ‘will of the people’ — whoever they are — the cowardly Congressman started calling for the removal of low-level nuclear material from our magnificent containment facility, on the grounds that it was sort of close to a heavily populated area and, you know, Fukushima. Talk about exploiting someone else’s tragedy for your own personal agenda. He did this even though our own scientists, who are much smarter than Mr. Issa could even comprehend, explicitly assured him that SONGS is a safe space for radioactive waste.”
But it wasn’t until the Oceanside City Council passed an ordinance supporting the legislation that Halflife knew action was called for. “City Councils have a way of getting folks riled up. Close to home and all that. And when you’re screwing the customer as hard as we are with this SONGS fiasco, you can’t afford to have too many people paying attention. Next thing you know, they’ll actually object to our charging them $10.4 billion to shut the place down after we installed faulty steam generators. Worst case scenario, we run into meaningful public oversight of our operations, and you can kiss my private island goodbye.”
Halflife needed a pleasing distraction, something to reassure the public on a subliminal level without actually denying the truth. “Sometimes, lying isn’t the best option,” he admitted. “If the cognitive dissonance is too great, people might start to think. The minions were a perfect solution. They live to serve the bad guy, which in this case, is us. But at the same time, everybody loves them. Sure, we’re the villain in the story, but we’ve got Stuart and Bob on our side, so it’s all good.”
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