Here's something you might be interested in.
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed
Big Screen — Movie commentary
Blurt — Music's inside track
Booze News — San Diego spirits
Classical Music — Immortal beauty
Classifieds — Free and easy
Cover Stories — Front-page features
Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes
Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts
Feast! — Food & drink reviews
Feature Stories — Local news & stories
Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore
From the Archives — Spotlight on the past
Golden Dreams — Talk of the town
The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it
Letters — Our inbox
Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites
Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans
Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists
Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news
News Ticker — News & politics
Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated
Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna
Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated
Poetry — The old and the new
Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers
Reading — The hunt for intellectuals
Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails
San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds
SD on the QT — Almost factual news
Sheep and Goats — Places of worship
Special Issues — The best of
Street Style — San Diego streets have style
Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves
Theater — On stage in San Diego this week
Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative
Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work
Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego
Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads
Your Week — Daily event picks
Old Farty-Fart skips question, launches into diatribe
Modern denim is often too light to patch.
Frankenstein jeans
Dear Hipster:
So, I’ve been planning on writing to you for some weeks now, but I just never got around to it. Too lazy, or whatever. But, today I got to thinking, “Hey! If I’m too lazy to even write to this dude, then that certainly must make me a hipster!” But, of course, here I am writing to you, which definitely is un-hipsterish. It’s like writing a letter to the editor, or even posting a comment on the internet. These things are done by people with some overblown sense of self-worth, who think that other people actually give a shit about what they have to say. So, now I’m sitting on a conundrum. Am I a hipster or not? In my defense, I will say that while wearing jeans with holes in them is definitely cool (a derogatory term these days... puts you in a Kim Kardashian category), I don’t like holes in my jeans. So, I take out some patches and my sewing stuff, and I patch these jeans and sew them up, and with absolutely no sewing skill at all. I of course end up with jeans that look like a Frankenstein monster. So, I will submit that walking around in Frankenstein jeans definitely puts you in the hipster category.
— Mike “the old farty fart” Mulrenan
In defense of those who write letters to our editors, but not on behalf of indefensible internet commenters, your query would have benefitted substantially had you incorporated more question (this is ASK a hipster, after all) and less rambling diatribe. It’s not that I don’t like a good diatribe. Heavens no, and quite the opposite. Diatribes on topics most people don’t ever think about, let alone obsess over, are my stock and trade. For one, I don’t even need an excuse for the denim rant onto which I will soon embark.
But first, as for that conundrum you’re sitting on, presumably in hopes of an upturn in the red-hot conundrums market, well, you know how they say you’re only as old a hipster as you feel? What does your old farty fart heart tell you? Does it whisper obscure song lyrics and urge you to order kale salads and caramelized brussels sprouts at your favorite local brasserie? You may find you’ve always known the answers you seek.
Your “Frankenstein jeans” (DUH duhn duhn duhn duh duhn duhn DUUUUUHN duh duhn duhn duhn duh duhn! AMIRIGHT, PEOPLE?!?) remind me of a story. Naturally, it’s about me. I once spent three days hand-sewing patches onto a favored pair of jeans, only to have them all rip out in the first wash. Cool story, huh? Modern denim is often too light to patch. It seems that anything below a 12oz fabric will be too weak to hold a patch by the time it needs patching. Sanforization (heavy steam treatment that pre-stretches raw fabrics) further weakens the base cloth. A door is only as strong as its frame, and the same holds true for pants.
Patching a pair of naturally sturdy jeans would certainly combine the hipster proclivity for handicrafts with the famous hipster desire to buck consumer trends, like buying lots and lots of disposable stuff at low prices. For whatever reason, this behavior has not taken root in the American hipster consciousness. Should it do so, I hereby authorize you to stand there, radiant in your smugness, and speak the magic words: “I was into that before it was cool.”
Here's something you might be interested in.
Old Farty-Fart skips question, launches into diatribe
Modern denim is often too light to patch.
Old Farty-Fart skips question, launches into diatribe
Modern denim is often too light to patch.
Frankenstein jeans
Dear Hipster:
So, I’ve been planning on writing to you for some weeks now, but I just never got around to it. Too lazy, or whatever. But, today I got to thinking, “Hey! If I’m too lazy to even write to this dude, then that certainly must make me a hipster!” But, of course, here I am writing to you, which definitely is un-hipsterish. It’s like writing a letter to the editor, or even posting a comment on the internet. These things are done by people with some overblown sense of self-worth, who think that other people actually give a shit about what they have to say. So, now I’m sitting on a conundrum. Am I a hipster or not? In my defense, I will say that while wearing jeans with holes in them is definitely cool (a derogatory term these days... puts you in a Kim Kardashian category), I don’t like holes in my jeans. So, I take out some patches and my sewing stuff, and I patch these jeans and sew them up, and with absolutely no sewing skill at all. I of course end up with jeans that look like a Frankenstein monster. So, I will submit that walking around in Frankenstein jeans definitely puts you in the hipster category.
— Mike “the old farty fart” Mulrenan
In defense of those who write letters to our editors, but not on behalf of indefensible internet commenters, your query would have benefitted substantially had you incorporated more question (this is ASK a hipster, after all) and less rambling diatribe. It’s not that I don’t like a good diatribe. Heavens no, and quite the opposite. Diatribes on topics most people don’t ever think about, let alone obsess over, are my stock and trade. For one, I don’t even need an excuse for the denim rant onto which I will soon embark.
But first, as for that conundrum you’re sitting on, presumably in hopes of an upturn in the red-hot conundrums market, well, you know how they say you’re only as old a hipster as you feel? What does your old farty fart heart tell you? Does it whisper obscure song lyrics and urge you to order kale salads and caramelized brussels sprouts at your favorite local brasserie? You may find you’ve always known the answers you seek.
Your “Frankenstein jeans” (DUH duhn duhn duhn duh duhn duhn DUUUUUHN duh duhn duhn duhn duh duhn! AMIRIGHT, PEOPLE?!?) remind me of a story. Naturally, it’s about me. I once spent three days hand-sewing patches onto a favored pair of jeans, only to have them all rip out in the first wash. Cool story, huh? Modern denim is often too light to patch. It seems that anything below a 12oz fabric will be too weak to hold a patch by the time it needs patching. Sanforization (heavy steam treatment that pre-stretches raw fabrics) further weakens the base cloth. A door is only as strong as its frame, and the same holds true for pants.
Patching a pair of naturally sturdy jeans would certainly combine the hipster proclivity for handicrafts with the famous hipster desire to buck consumer trends, like buying lots and lots of disposable stuff at low prices. For whatever reason, this behavior has not taken root in the American hipster consciousness. Should it do so, I hereby authorize you to stand there, radiant in your smugness, and speak the magic words: “I was into that before it was cool.”
Comments