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SeaWorld reveals new logo after dead whale found on Torrey Pines beach
Whale fail
“Every great civilization has been built on the backs of the exploited,” began SeaWorld spokesman Robert Orcant at the press conference revealing the theme park’s new logo, which depicts the dead juvenile gray whale that was recently removed from Torrey Pines State Beach.
“If you want to advance, you have to be willing for someone else to suffer. That’s just the way it works. Rome captured slaves during its conquests and built the greatest empire in history. America bought slaves until that became problematic, and eventually found a solution in cheap, invisible overseas labor. Sort of the way Europe did with the colonies.
"It’s a truth of life: if you want greatness, you accept horror. You want thoughtful movies that explore and celebrate the human spirit? You finance ‘em with craptastic blockbusters about punching robots. You want quality journalism for free on the internet? You surround it with cheap clickbait listicles. And if you want to do valuable research that can maybe save the life of a majestic gray whale facing a changing environment, you need Shamu to jump out of the water for paying customers about 30 times a day. But, of course, nowadays everybody is getting sad feelings about orcas in captivity, and so we had to shut down what used to be our biggest draw.
"So, to sum up: since you people couldn’t swallow the truth and just enjoy the show, we couldn’t afford to do the research. And now you’ve got a dead whale on your beach. That’s what the new logo is about. Thanks a bunch."
Here's something you might be interested in.
SeaWorld reveals new logo after dead whale found on Torrey Pines beach
Whale fail
SeaWorld reveals new logo after dead whale found on Torrey Pines beach
Whale fail
“Every great civilization has been built on the backs of the exploited,” began SeaWorld spokesman Robert Orcant at the press conference revealing the theme park’s new logo, which depicts the dead juvenile gray whale that was recently removed from Torrey Pines State Beach.
“If you want to advance, you have to be willing for someone else to suffer. That’s just the way it works. Rome captured slaves during its conquests and built the greatest empire in history. America bought slaves until that became problematic, and eventually found a solution in cheap, invisible overseas labor. Sort of the way Europe did with the colonies.
"It’s a truth of life: if you want greatness, you accept horror. You want thoughtful movies that explore and celebrate the human spirit? You finance ‘em with craptastic blockbusters about punching robots. You want quality journalism for free on the internet? You surround it with cheap clickbait listicles. And if you want to do valuable research that can maybe save the life of a majestic gray whale facing a changing environment, you need Shamu to jump out of the water for paying customers about 30 times a day. But, of course, nowadays everybody is getting sad feelings about orcas in captivity, and so we had to shut down what used to be our biggest draw.
"So, to sum up: since you people couldn’t swallow the truth and just enjoy the show, we couldn’t afford to do the research. And now you’ve got a dead whale on your beach. That’s what the new logo is about. Thanks a bunch."
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