- Finally morning. This loneliness
- feels more ordinary in the light, more like my face
- in the mirror. My daughter in the ER again.
- Something she ate? Some freshener
- someone spritzed in the air?
- They’re trying to kill me, she says,
- as though it’s a joke. Lucretius
- got me through the night. He told me the world goes on
- making and unmaking. Maybe it’s wrong
- to think of better and worse.
- There’s no one who can carry my fear
- for a child who walks out the door
- not knowing what will stop her breath.
- The rain they say is coming
- sails now over the Pacific in purplish nimbus clouds.
- But it isn’t enough. Last year I watched
- elephants encircle their young, shuffling
- their massive legs without hurry, flaring
- their great dusty ears. Once they drank
- from the snowmelt of Kilimanjaro.
- Now the mountain is bald. Lucretius knows
- we’re just atoms combining and recombining:
- stardust, flesh, grass. All night
- I plastered my body to Janet,
- breathing when she breathed. But her skin,
- warm though it is, does after all, keep me out.
- How tenuous it all is.
- My daughter’s coming home next week.
- She’ll bring the pink plaid suitcase we bought at Ross.
- When she points it out to the escort
- pushing her wheelchair, it will be easy
- to spot on the carousel. I just want to touch her.
Ellen Bass is a well-known California poet and teacher of poetry. “Waiting for Rain” is from Like a Beggar, her new collection from Copper Canyon Press, 2014. She teaches in the low-residency MFA program at Pacific University, facilitates lots of poetry workshops in Northern California and environs, and lives in Santa Cruz.