Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Pomp and Resistance

It had been cold and cloudy when I’d dressed that morning, and the commencement ceremony wasn’t scheduled to begin until 4:30 p.m.; it never occurred to me that I might find myself trapped for over three hours beneath an inescapable, blazing sun.

I’m not sure why I expected shade at an outdoor event. There hadn’t been any at my high school graduation – my fellow graduates and I had been situated in the middle of a football field, where we broiled in our black gowns during a series of speeches we could barely hear while our families watched on from the cement stadium seats at Southwestern College. (Bonita Vista High School wasn’t big enough to accommodate its students and their families; apparently, it still isn’t — this year’s commencement is being held in the aptly named “Sleep Train Amphitheatre.”)

When I think back on my commencement, I am left with two distinct impressions: boredom and discomfort. We didn’t have iPhones back then, so there was no texting or tweeting or Facebooking my way through the monotonous procession of names being mispronounced. Hence, the boredom. The discomfort had to do with being stuck in the blazing sun (I’m a flower, I wilt) and the tortillas I had plastered against my skin, underneath my bra.

The administration had threatened to de-diploma anyone found with a beach ball, so we students conspired to smuggle tortillas under our clothes that we would unearth and toss into the air at the end of the proceedings. I don’t remember why it had to be tortillas, but I was glad to have something to throw other than my cap — for some reason, I thought I’d want to hold on to that thing for the rest of my life. I think it may have ended up at the bottom of a box in my mother’s garage.

Sponsored
Sponsored

Mom sat one chair over to my right. The folding chair between us was empty, because my nephew Liam was underneath it, taking refuge from the sun. At least, that was the popular excuse — we knew he didn’t care about the avoiding the sun so much as being able to clearly see whatever game he was playing on my mother’s iPad. Brian, under the seat to my left, was using Heather’s iPad. His mother wouldn’t miss it — she was many rows ahead on the giant, flat grassy area, beyond our field of vision, waiting for her name to be called so she could receive the hood that is bestowed upon one who has earned a master’s degree in education.

photo

My nephews attempt to escape the sun and the boredom

I dabbled with college, but I never made it anywhere near an associate’s degree, let alone a master’s. I was an extreme student: I saw as many A’s as I did F’s but rarely a letter between. I excelled at what interested me most and got brain-freeze when confronted with any subject matter I found either boring or baffling. In the end, the frustration and stress over those subjects I didn’t care for (but was forced to take) won out over any sense of accomplishment I got from the courses I enjoyed. One day, I just stopped showing up and immense relief ensued.

My sister Heather had a different relationship with academia. She maintained a high GPA at Bonita Vista and aced her SATs (I stayed up all night prior to mine, and then groggily colored in random circles). Heather graduated from UCSD four years later, and went right back into the school system as a high school English teacher. Now, she was about to achieve her master’s degree in only two years (rather than the usual three), just in time to assume her new position as assistant principal.

“Boys, pay attention,” Sean said to his sons as the first speaker took the stage.

photo

Heather, with honors

A giant screen displayed tight shots of the capped and gowned. The woman beside my mother apparently thought the screen was some kind of magical communication device. When her son’s face appeared, she jumped up and down and screamed so loud that the entire section put their fingers in their ears. Then, just to confirm what we already suspected, the lack-witted woman actually waved at the goddamn screen. I rolled my eyes, but my nephews were more verbal. “Stop screaming,” Brian demanded quietly, so only I could hear, perhaps hoping I’d pass it on. Liam just looked up at me with irritation in his ocean-blue eyes and said, “Oh. My. God.”

After a few short but sweet speeches, I passed the time by imagining what it would have cost for a private ceremony just for my sister — one that didn’t involve all these other people. The tortuous woman beside us was but one of many. It wasn’t long before it became painfully obvious that a few groups had shirked the rules and snuck in noisemakers.

Heather’s name was called fairly early. For a minute and a half — from the time she stepped onto the stage, appeared on the big screen, and made her way off stage — the clamorous throngs, the harsh sun, that awful shrieking woman: they all faded into the background, and all I could think was, That’s my sister up there, this is her moment, she’s being recognized for all her hard work. I shared smiles with Sean, who was beaming at his wife’s accomplishment, and my mother, who had been encouraging us all to cheer insanely, but in the end, joined us in our feeble, self-conscious, “Yay!”

As the ceremony drew to an end, the crowd grew incrementally louder. I started to panic about the maelstrom ahead, when the masses would all stand at once and rush to find their graduate. Fortunately, I had a reason to hustle away — David was meeting us back at the house for dinner. I told Sean I was heading out. I apologized my way around people’s knees. At the end of the row, I said, “Can somebody please, like, move her back a little?” and gestured with a forced, hold it together just a few more minutes, psychotic smile at the old woman in a wheelchair — the last obstacle in the way of my freedom.

Like an action star barely escaping a spectacular blast, I cleared the field, and the explosion of cheering behind me seemed to push me the last few steps toward the sweet, quiet solitude of the street. Cloud cover brought relief. I breathed in the cool air and began walking toward my sister’s house. Noting my ringing ears, I hoped that by the time any of my niephlings were old enough to graduate, I’d either be deaf or remember to bring earplugs.

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

San Diego Dim Sum Tour, Warwick’s Holiday Open House

Events November 24-November 27, 2024
Next Article

Now what can they do with Encinitas unstable cliffs?

Make the cliffs fall, put up more warnings, fine beachgoers?

It had been cold and cloudy when I’d dressed that morning, and the commencement ceremony wasn’t scheduled to begin until 4:30 p.m.; it never occurred to me that I might find myself trapped for over three hours beneath an inescapable, blazing sun.

I’m not sure why I expected shade at an outdoor event. There hadn’t been any at my high school graduation – my fellow graduates and I had been situated in the middle of a football field, where we broiled in our black gowns during a series of speeches we could barely hear while our families watched on from the cement stadium seats at Southwestern College. (Bonita Vista High School wasn’t big enough to accommodate its students and their families; apparently, it still isn’t — this year’s commencement is being held in the aptly named “Sleep Train Amphitheatre.”)

When I think back on my commencement, I am left with two distinct impressions: boredom and discomfort. We didn’t have iPhones back then, so there was no texting or tweeting or Facebooking my way through the monotonous procession of names being mispronounced. Hence, the boredom. The discomfort had to do with being stuck in the blazing sun (I’m a flower, I wilt) and the tortillas I had plastered against my skin, underneath my bra.

The administration had threatened to de-diploma anyone found with a beach ball, so we students conspired to smuggle tortillas under our clothes that we would unearth and toss into the air at the end of the proceedings. I don’t remember why it had to be tortillas, but I was glad to have something to throw other than my cap — for some reason, I thought I’d want to hold on to that thing for the rest of my life. I think it may have ended up at the bottom of a box in my mother’s garage.

Sponsored
Sponsored

Mom sat one chair over to my right. The folding chair between us was empty, because my nephew Liam was underneath it, taking refuge from the sun. At least, that was the popular excuse — we knew he didn’t care about the avoiding the sun so much as being able to clearly see whatever game he was playing on my mother’s iPad. Brian, under the seat to my left, was using Heather’s iPad. His mother wouldn’t miss it — she was many rows ahead on the giant, flat grassy area, beyond our field of vision, waiting for her name to be called so she could receive the hood that is bestowed upon one who has earned a master’s degree in education.

photo

My nephews attempt to escape the sun and the boredom

I dabbled with college, but I never made it anywhere near an associate’s degree, let alone a master’s. I was an extreme student: I saw as many A’s as I did F’s but rarely a letter between. I excelled at what interested me most and got brain-freeze when confronted with any subject matter I found either boring or baffling. In the end, the frustration and stress over those subjects I didn’t care for (but was forced to take) won out over any sense of accomplishment I got from the courses I enjoyed. One day, I just stopped showing up and immense relief ensued.

My sister Heather had a different relationship with academia. She maintained a high GPA at Bonita Vista and aced her SATs (I stayed up all night prior to mine, and then groggily colored in random circles). Heather graduated from UCSD four years later, and went right back into the school system as a high school English teacher. Now, she was about to achieve her master’s degree in only two years (rather than the usual three), just in time to assume her new position as assistant principal.

“Boys, pay attention,” Sean said to his sons as the first speaker took the stage.

photo

Heather, with honors

A giant screen displayed tight shots of the capped and gowned. The woman beside my mother apparently thought the screen was some kind of magical communication device. When her son’s face appeared, she jumped up and down and screamed so loud that the entire section put their fingers in their ears. Then, just to confirm what we already suspected, the lack-witted woman actually waved at the goddamn screen. I rolled my eyes, but my nephews were more verbal. “Stop screaming,” Brian demanded quietly, so only I could hear, perhaps hoping I’d pass it on. Liam just looked up at me with irritation in his ocean-blue eyes and said, “Oh. My. God.”

After a few short but sweet speeches, I passed the time by imagining what it would have cost for a private ceremony just for my sister — one that didn’t involve all these other people. The tortuous woman beside us was but one of many. It wasn’t long before it became painfully obvious that a few groups had shirked the rules and snuck in noisemakers.

Heather’s name was called fairly early. For a minute and a half — from the time she stepped onto the stage, appeared on the big screen, and made her way off stage — the clamorous throngs, the harsh sun, that awful shrieking woman: they all faded into the background, and all I could think was, That’s my sister up there, this is her moment, she’s being recognized for all her hard work. I shared smiles with Sean, who was beaming at his wife’s accomplishment, and my mother, who had been encouraging us all to cheer insanely, but in the end, joined us in our feeble, self-conscious, “Yay!”

As the ceremony drew to an end, the crowd grew incrementally louder. I started to panic about the maelstrom ahead, when the masses would all stand at once and rush to find their graduate. Fortunately, I had a reason to hustle away — David was meeting us back at the house for dinner. I told Sean I was heading out. I apologized my way around people’s knees. At the end of the row, I said, “Can somebody please, like, move her back a little?” and gestured with a forced, hold it together just a few more minutes, psychotic smile at the old woman in a wheelchair — the last obstacle in the way of my freedom.

Like an action star barely escaping a spectacular blast, I cleared the field, and the explosion of cheering behind me seemed to push me the last few steps toward the sweet, quiet solitude of the street. Cloud cover brought relief. I breathed in the cool air and began walking toward my sister’s house. Noting my ringing ears, I hoped that by the time any of my niephlings were old enough to graduate, I’d either be deaf or remember to bring earplugs.

Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Escondido planners nix office building switch to apartments

Not enough open space, not enough closets for Hickory Street plans
Next Article

Poway’s schools, faced with money squeeze, fined for voter mailing

$105 million bond required payback of nearly 10 times that amount
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader